During the Soviet era, getting married in a church became not only optional, but also a forbidden rite. Therefore, today people have forgotten what is needed for a wedding and how to prepare for it. However, more and more often young people, in addition to registering with the registry office, seek to get married. Such an introduction to family life captures the pure aspirations of the bride and groom to spend their marriage faithful to each other and in accordance with the laws of God, and the church blesses this union before Jesus Christ.

What is needed for a wedding in a church - spiritual preparation and symbolic details

Preparation for the ceremony begins with a conversation with the priest. On it, he not only sets the wedding date, but can also invite the newlyweds to reunite with the church through confession and repentance, as well as to partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. This will allow you to prepare for the wedding properly, but only the bride and groom decide whether to do this or not. Before the rite of confession, you must adhere to spiritual and physical fasting: do not eat food of animal origin, do not get angry and do not have sexual intercourse.

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Preparing appropriate wedding attire

A wedding dress is the first thing you need for a wedding in Orthodox Church to the bride. It differs significantly from the wedding in some ways important details:

• long - even a short dress should cover the knees;
• sleeve - it is customary to emphasize the bride’s chastity with closed hands;
• modest neckline - replaces a deep neckline;
• color - the dress can be not only white, but also a pastel shade.

If the wedding is scheduled immediately after the painting, then the wedding dress can be transformed with the help of elongated gloves, a cape or a fur coat. This trick will not help if the wedding attire is a trouser suit, because women in trousers, as well as with their heads uncovered, are prohibited from entering the church.

You can hide your hair with an elegant hat, but you don’t need to secure it with hairpins or create a high hairstyle - in some churches it is customary not to hold the wedding crown, but to immediately put it on your head.

The ideal option is a veil, but you need to think about the length - on the one hand, it symbolizes a long family journey, and on the other, it needs to be protected from candles in the church hall. The bride should not wear high-heeled shoes, and the groom should not wear narrow, uncomfortable shoes, since in the parish church the ceremony lasts at least an hour, and in the monastery even longer.

The groom's wedding dress code is very simple; a classic light-colored suit is optimal for him. Casual clothing and sporty style are highly discouraged.

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About the importance of a sense of proportion - the main thing is in the soul

The observance of traditions and the selection of attributes for sacred ceremonies should be approached responsibly, but without fanaticism. A correct attitude towards this issue is facilitated by reading the relevant church literature or talking with the priest, which will help to understand the meaning of the hidden symbolism of the sacred ritual. By at least partially understanding the background of the process, it is possible to weed out outdated requirements of church decorum from truly important spiritual moments.

For example, today it is no longer necessary to follow the tradition of selecting rings. Previously, it was mandatory for the groom to have Golden ring, and the bride - silver. In church they exchanged them, and in married life the husband wore silver and the wife gold. Currently, rings are usually purchased according to the tastes and material capabilities of young people.

Also, you shouldn’t worry too much about whether witnesses are needed at a wedding, since their presence is not a requirement of the church, but only a recommendation. Throughout the entire event, the best men must hold the crowns over the heads of the future spouses, and in the event of their absence, you need to think about who can replace the witnesses in this matter. Age and Family status friends also do not matter - gone are the days when their task included spiritual guidance new family.

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The hidden meaning of the attributes of the Orthodox rite

In order for the celebration to take place according to the mandatory canons, it is necessary to take care of the really important attributes:

1. Wedding rings are needed for a wedding, or more precisely, for the sacrament of betrothal, which takes place immediately before the main ceremony. They symbolize the eternal and inextricable bond of the engaged.
2. Wedding candles are kept young during the engagement ceremony, as a symbol of the unburnable love of future spouses. The allegorical meaning of this action is that young people learn to protect their warmth from life’s troubles in the same way as they protect the fire of these candles from extinguishing.
3. Two white towels (towels) or pieces of fabric, one of which is needed for framing icons. On the second, symbolizing a long journey together, young people stand in front of a lectern. In the old days, the bride decorated it with rich embroidery when preparing her dowry.
4. Two or four handkerchiefs are needed for the bride and groom to hold the candles, as well as for the witnesses to hold the crowns.
5. Cahors - symbol Blood of Christ. Sweet wine is poured into cups at the end of the ceremony and given to the newlyweds to sip three times, as a reminder of the grief and joy that they are now obliged to share in half.
6. Bread (or loaf) - a symbol of the body of Jesus, may be left in some churches as a form of gratitude. The loaf is also the first dish eaten after a wedding. Previously, it was baked by the mothers of the bride and groom, and trusting such an important matter to strangers was not accepted.
7. The consecrated icons of the Savior (groom) and the Mother of God (bride) are presented by the priest after a circular walk, marking the eternal procession of the spouses hand in hand. The images were passed down from generation to generation and served as a talisman for the entire family. Modern believers are trying to revive a forgotten tradition and, for this purpose, order the creation of icons from a master icon painter.

In the church office or with the priest, it is worth discussing the list of what is needed for the wedding in more detail. Each church may have minor additions.

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How should newlyweds and guests behave during a wedding?

Lack of awareness of what needs to be done before the wedding and during the ceremony, and what not to do, leads to a state of excessive constraint and awkwardness for the majority of those present. Some, on the contrary, begin to make noise, take video and photographs in the wrong place and distract those present from the sacrament of the ritual. Knowing simple rules will help you show respect for church ministers and be more confident:

• It is better to arrive at the church 15 minutes earlier than the appointed time;
• the bride and groom should wear pectoral cross, preferably received at baptism;
• during the ceremony you cannot laugh loudly or talk to others;
• mobile phone worth turning off;
• in church it is not customary to turn your back to the iconostasis;
• benches are intended for elderly and infirm parishioners;
• keeping your hands in your pockets is indecent;
• You should not leave before the completion of the ceremony - this could offend the newlyweds.

Despite many conventions, in church, first of all, it is important to listen to your heart. This advice especially applies to newly-made spouses. Without being distracted by exciting little things, they will be able to remember all the details of the happy day when, in the face of God, they were called husband and wife.

Baptized Orthodox Christians who want to tie their fate in marriage can get married if they wish. However, people must clearly understand that a marriage approved by God cannot be dissolved by personal desire, since this is considered an absolute and grave sin.

Wedding is considered a church sacrament in which people promise to remain faithful to each other, and God gives them the grace of unanimity for this, so that it will be easy for them to give birth and raise children, as well as to live a righteous Christian life.

During the ritual loving people they transfer their aspirations, thoughts and weddings into the hands of their partner and promise to preserve the sacred bonds of marriage, not allowing vain passions into their lives that destroy family and love.

The ceremony has no legal force, although a wedding in a church without registration with the registry office is an undesirable moment.

Our article will help you understand the essence of the wedding ceremony. In addition, we will tell you in detail how to get married, and also consider the basic rules and customs.

Main rules and signs

The sacrament of marriage involves two obligatory parts: betrothal and subsequent wedding. At the same time, engaged people can independently terminate the agreement on a future marriage, but married people can no longer do so.

There are mandatory requirements for those getting married:

In addition to the mandatory rules, some pay attention to folk signs related to wedding:

• a ring falling during the ceremony symbolizes the death of one of the spouses or the breakdown of the family;
• Under no circumstances should you give a wedding towel to anyone, because it represents a symbolic life path couples;
• candles used for weddings must also be kept at home, and they can be lit in 2 cases: during difficult childbirth or when children are ill;
• People say that newlyweds must give something to the temple in gratitude for the blessing of their new family (often linen towels in which freshly baked bread is wrapped).

Wedding in the Orthodox Church: preparatory rules

The life of a couple blessed by God ideally begins with spiritual preparation. The bride and groom are required to take communion and confess, but these rituals, in turn, also require certain preparation. So, what do you need for a church wedding?

Before the wedding, the bride and groom must come to conversations with the clergyman, who will talk about how the ceremony will take place and reveal the secrets of the church’s understanding of marriage. The priest finds out why it is important for people to be married, because some couples do not understand the full depth of what is happening, but simply want to participate in a beautiful ceremony. In this case, the priest can give some useful tips or recommend that those getting married read specific passages from the holy books.

It is very important to agree on the wedding date with the priest in advance. And if it is planned that the ceremony will be accompanied by chants, it is necessary to warn the singers in advance.

When can't you get married?

Setting a specific wedding date is necessary in order not to fall on the eve of fast days, Saturday, Thursday and Tuesday: the ritual is not performed on these days. Are you interested in getting married during Lent, and whether or not you can entrust your family to God these days? The answer is clear: this is impossible, because the ritual should under no circumstances be performed during the long fasts: Assumption, Petrovsky, Great and Nativity. And this is not a superstition, as we assume, but a mandatory church rule.

Important wedding attributes

If you are planning a wedding in a church, do not forget to take care of wedding rings, which are a sign of the indissolubility of the marriage union. It doesn’t matter where they will be bought: in a temple or a jewelry store: the main thing is that it is done with love and a positive attitude. Just before the ceremony, the rings are given to the priest.

In the old days, it was accepted that a woman’s ring had to be gold, and a man’s could be much cheaper: silver or iron, but today no one follows these rules and couples are free to choose marriage attributes to their taste.

After the ceremony, the newlyweds will have rings and wedding icons. Usually, images of the Mother of God and the Savior are used for wedding blessings. You can also use your parents' wedding icons. Before the process, they are given to the priest, and then kept as a shrine that protects the marriage.

Don't forget about towel– a white towel on which the newlyweds stand. You can buy it in a temple or embroider it yourself, investing a piece of your soul.

Also take care of church candles and crowns: all this is in the temple. Be sure to agree in advance on who will hold the crowns over the heads of the bride and groom so that there is no confusion during the ceremony. Church crowns are made in one size, so they will probably not fit you. That is why it is customary that crowns are not placed on the heads of couples, but are held suspended above them. Do it witnesses.

In pre-revolutionary times, the presence of witnesses (guarantors) was mandatory, because a church marriage had full legal and legal force. Nowadays, those getting married themselves determine whether they need witnesses at the wedding. If yes, then it is important to take into account that they must be Orthodox and treat the wedding with reverence.

A wedding in the Orthodox Church involves some rules for witnesses:

• they cannot be people who were previously married (divorced), because they are a negative example for the newlyweds, and therefore will not be able to be faithful spiritual mentors of the newly-made family in the future;
• witnesses cannot be people living in a civil marriage, that is, according to church canons who are in constant sin.

Thus, a wedding in a church involves some rules, which, however, are quite easy to follow.

What do you need for a church wedding if you are already married?

A married couple must bring to the church documents confirming registration with the registry office. After this there can be no obstacles to the wedding.

Meanwhile, people who are actually married to another partner are not married. The clergyman must be provided in advance with documents on the dissolution of the previous marriage at the registry office or with permission from the bishop if the previous marriage was a church marriage.

As you can see, weddings in churches for already married couples a few years after the wedding are allowed and even recommended. The main thing is that this step is meaningful and well thought out. The ceremony itself for people living in a long-term secular marriage will have some minor differences from the canonical wedding.

In what cases does the church allow “debunking”?

A church marriage is undoubtedly more responsible, because the spouses are responsible not only before the law, but also before God. But still, the church identifies several reasons why a marriage is dissolved:

• one of the partners has an incurable disease (syphilis, AIDS, leprosy);
• one of the partners is a drug addict or alcoholic;
• there is a new marriage of one of the spouses;
• one of the partners accepts a non-Orthodox faith;
• a woman had an abortion without obtaining consent from her husband;
• one of the spouses is missing;
• the partner’s actions result in a threat of death or harm to health;
• mental illness of one of the spouses.

Previously, the only reason for debunking a church marriage was adultery, but today the list of reasons has expanded significantly and continues to grow.

It is important to take into account that in almost all churches the wedding ceremony is paid (the cost varies from 1 thousand rubles and more). If you live in a large city and are getting married in a local church, be prepared for the fact that several other couples may be getting married with you at the same time. Do you want privacy? Choose a small rural church and agree on all the details with the priest in advance.

The bride needs to remember that the wedding ceremony is a long procedure and it is better to wear comfortable shoes with low heels so that discomfort does not distract from the sacrament that is taking place. Leave it for publication.

It is very important that during the sacrament the newlyweds pray fervently and sincerely, because this period has a direct impact on the entire subsequent married life. However, priests often observe a completely different picture: there is a liturgy, during which everyone in the church prays exclusively for the good of the newlyweds, and meanwhile they communicate, laugh and move around the church hall, expressing disrespect for church prayer. Understand: a wedding is not a tribute to fashion, but a very serious step, on which future family life will largely depend.

You will need

• - marriage certificate;
• - candles;
• - icons of the Savior and the Mother of God;
• - cloth;
• - agreement with the priest in the temple;
• - white towel or plate, towel;
• - money.

Instructions

Prepare for your wedding with fasting, prayer, communion and repentance. On the day of the ceremony you cannot eat, drink, smoke or have sexual relations. The prohibitions are due to the rite of communion that precedes the ceremony. The priest warns about this when you discuss the upcoming holiday.

Agree with the priest at the temple for a specific wedding time. Best in the morning. This must be done at least three days before the event. Show the priest the certificate. If you are planning a ceremony on your wedding day, show the document before the start of the Sacrament. The ritual is not performed on even days of the week, during fasting, on (Christmastide, Christmas, Lent and etc.)

Prepare two icons, the Savior and the Mother of God. Buy two wedding candles, they are all sold in the temple. After the wedding, keep them with you; they should be kept for life. Candles must burn throughout the entire Sacrament, so they must be large enough.

Buy a white towel or cloth, a towel. Young people stand on it during the wedding. The plate remains in the temple after the Sacrament.

You should not buy special clothes, it is important that they are clean, neat and quite modest. Wedding dresses are just a tradition. There are no strict instructions in this regard in the Church.

You will not be able to have a wedding if you are an atheist, have a close relationship with your spouse, one of the newlyweds has not been baptized, is officially married to another person, has previously taken a monastic vow or has been ordained to the priesthood. They may not get married if between spouses a big difference aged, if the last marriage was the fourth or more in a row.

Establish an obstacle, if there is one, to do this, contact the archbishop, with his consent you will be allowed to perform the Sacrament. This applies to marriages between godparents and godsons, age marriages when one of the spouses is much older than the other, as well as marriages of Orthodox Christians and Catholics or Protestants.

Unbaptized spouses can be admitted to a wedding only after baptism. If the previous marriage was sanctified by the Orthodox Church, before re-wedding it is necessary to obtain permission for divorce and a new marriage from the archbishop. At the same time, he cannot conduct an inquiry about the motives for separating from his ex-spouse.

Invite relatives and friends. The priest who conducts the ceremony cannot be under canonical prohibition (i.e. must be a member of the Orthodox Church, have a deep and firm faith, impeccable morality, mental and spiritual health. The absence of these qualities are canonical obstacles to the priesthood, which are determined by the rules of the saints Soborov). In addition, canonical obstacles are: previously committed criminal offenses, mortal sins (fornication, adultery, greed, etc.), marriage to a divorced woman, monastic vows. If desired, organize photo and video shooting. Book a restaurant or host a banquet at home. Celebrating a wedding is not prohibited.

If a couple wants to get married, they can not only sign at the registry office, but also be combined with more subtle ties - the bonds of spiritual marriage. From time immemorial, only the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church sealed couples in marriage. Today, this tradition has become rare, but this is unjustified. Marriage contains a deep meaning, it is serious and special life stage every person, and therefore it requires the same special consolidation. It is necessary to touch the sacrament of a wedding in order to feel the full importance of the event. How this is accomplished will be described below.

What is the sacrament of marriage and how does it take place?

The sacrament of wedding is a rite of unity of two people through marriage and the sanctification of this marriage by divine grace. It is held in Orthodox churches for people who want to be united not only before the state, but also before God. This is the highest manifestation of trust and love for each other, because... The wedding can be performed only once (occasionally two or three, but due to special circumstances). To break such ties without permission, to cheat while in a spiritual marriage, is no longer a matter of morality, but an act of sin. Therefore, a sacramental wedding is always an important step.

The wedding ceremony is structured in such a way as to instill in the future spouses the importance of marriage, explain its meaning, prepare the newlyweds for proper family relationships, and guide them towards spiritual development. A wedding makes it possible to cleanse the sinfulness of human unity, to transfer it beyond the line of sinfulness into the form of a pure, God-blessed marriage. This is manifested in the symbolism of the betrothal and wedding rites. The sacrament of wedding is now carried out immediately after the betrothal ceremony, performing the following:

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Rules of the Great Church Sacrament in Orthodoxy

The sacrament of wedding is a rite that contains the fulfillment strict rules. The ceremony consists of 4 stages: betrothal, wedding, permission of crowns and prayer service. If previously there was a time interval between the sacraments of betrothal and wedding, today all stages often merge into one, continuing each other. To perform the sacrament of a wedding, a groomsman and a groomsman (witnesses, or recipients) can be appointed. Special dates are selected because... The wedding ceremony cannot be performed on all days. Young people prepare for the sacrament by fasting and praying.

The sacrament of wedding is a spiritual act, and therefore must be performed with meekness and dignity. The Church meets modern traditions halfway, allowing photography and video recording during the sacrament, but talking, laughing, walking around the temple, turning your back to the images, or simply spending time until the end of the event is strictly prohibited.

What do you need to purchase before the ceremony?

In order to carry out the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church, it is necessary to have some objects that carry sacred meaning and take a direct part in the process of performing the ritual:

1. Two icons – Mother of God and the Savior. Previously, such icons were passed down by inheritance, but if they are not there, then they need to be purchased.
2. Rings (sanctified). Previously, gold (for the groom) and silver (for the bride) were taken; in the process of exchanging rings during the engagement, the wife retains the gold and the husband the silver, which symbolically demonstrates the basis of the relationship in marriage. Modern practice allows both young people to have gold rings and buy items decorated with stones.

What do witnesses need to know?

Witnesses who church tradition are called recipients, they are guarantors, helpers for a young family. They, like godparents, must take care of the spiritual development of the young in their marriage. In past times, it was customary to choose as successors people who were experienced in family affairs and trustworthy, so that they could become faithful advisers on the path to forming a new family. Now these can be people of any age, but with the right attitude.

Previously, they vouched for the marriage by signing in the metric book, but in our time, when church marriage has only spiritual meaning, but not legal force, the presence of recipients is not necessary. However, they are still entrusted with helping the newlyweds during the sacrament of weddings in the Orthodox Church - holding the crowns while walking around the lectern. Witnesses must remember that they must take their task responsibly, be concerned about their future family, be baptized and believers, and behave meekly and reverently during the ceremony.

How is engagement performed?

The sacrament of betrothal is an obligatory stage of marriage, which secures the right of the groom to the bride and vice versa, this is the moment of creating a couple before the Lord, descending blessings on her, as well as time for moral preparation for the wedding, for thinking about the essence of marriage. The sacrament of betrothal is performed in church, on the eve or on the day of the wedding. The sacrament of wedding is a logical continuation of the betrothal, and can take place immediately after it, however, the sooner the newlyweds get engaged, the more time the couple will have to realize the importance of the wedding and prepare for it. Stages:

What should a wedding meal be like?

After the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church, it is customary to hold a wedding meal in honor of the completed marriage of the newlyweds, during which their relatives, friends, and other invitees can convey congratulations to the newlyweds, rejoice for them, and give gifts. According to Christian custom and signs, a church meal should be modest and decent. It is not allowed to: drink alcohol in excess, utter vulgarities, use indecent words, sing immodest songs, dance dissolutely.

What can hinder a Christian marriage?

Any Christian can marry in a church marriage through the sacrament of marriage in the Orthodox Church, but there are some exceptions. So, it is not allowed to get married in the Orthodox Church:

• People who, at the time of the wedding, are married to another person, and not to the one with whom they are going to get married.
• People who are related to each other by blood or spiritual relationship (godmother-godson).
• People who marry more than three times.
• People who have already been married and have not asked the bishop to dissolve their church marriage (allowed up to 3 times, the last time cannot lead to a new marriage).
• People who have not been baptized.
• People who are non-believers or were forced by their future spouse to undergo the sacrament of marriage.

• IN certain days of the year: during all Lents, on Easter and cheese weeks, from Christmas to Epiphany, on Saturdays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, on the eve of the Great church holidays, on the eve and on the day of the Beheading of John the Baptist (August 29 and September 11), as well as the Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 14 and 27). Exceptions can be made only by decision of the current bishop.
• To clergy.
• Minors, as well as those whose age is beyond the marriage threshold (60 years for women, 70 for men).
• Those whose marriage was not blessed by their parents (if they are Orthodox).
• Newlyweds with different faiths.
• Those who were responsible for the dissolution of a previous marriage (for example, cheaters).

Video about preparations for the wedding

Preparation for the sacrament of wedding - the union of newlyweds in church marriage. Preparation must be taken seriously, thoughtfully, understanding the deep meaning of the sacrament. The purpose of preparing for the sacrament of wedding in the Orthodox Church is spiritual cleansing young people, understanding the sacred task of marriage. This is necessarily communion, confession, fasting, prayers, which will help to correctly carry out the transition of young people to another stage of life, to give the unity of people a sacred, and not sinful, character. You can learn more about how to properly prepare for the sacrament of wedding by watching the video:

Despite the fact that church marriage is not mandatory in Russia and the CIS countries, many couples decide to take this important step. And if some families sincerely want to marry in heaven as a sign of confirmation of pure love and faith in God, then others simply follow fashion, including the sacrament in the wedding plan.

For whatever reason you decide to get married, the wedding portal website reminds you: be sure to follow the church rules for preparing for the sacrament!

Before the wedding: will there be a sacrament?

Before you begin preparing for your wedding, you need to find out whether the church will allow your couple to get married in a church ceremony. After all, there are prescribed taboos to the ritual.

The wedding will not take place if:

If at least one of the above points occurs, alas, the church will not be able to bless your union.

Are there any obstacles to the sacrament? Then we offer you a little instruction in preparing for the wedding:

A wedding ceremony in the Orthodox Church is held only if the couple has formalized their relationship. It doesn’t matter whether you decide to seal your union directly on the day of the celebration or years later, the church may ask you to provide a marriage certificate.

Confession and Communion before the wedding

The decision to get married should not be made spontaneously. Everyone in a couple must be sincerely confident in their intentions. An important role is played by cleansing the soul through prayers, Confession and Communion.

The church will definitely tell you the most detailed information about how to prepare for the rituals. Do not hesitate to ask questions, because this will help avoid awkward situations directly during the rituals.

Before Communion and Confession, one should fast. For three days, the newlyweds read prayers (the priest will tell you which ones), visit evening services, refuse sexual relations for this period. Eggs, meat and dairy products will have to be excluded from food.. All this must be observed before the preparatory rites for the wedding.

One of the main tasks of the church is to help a person improve his own soul. Church teachings call to get rid of evil thoughts, empty and abusive words, and to accept everything humbly and calmly.

As a rule, Confession and Communion take place immediately before the wedding. But this is not a mandatory requirement. The bride and groom can attend church the day before and separately.

Every church ceremony is aimed at healing human soul. And if you really decide to seal your relationship Church marriage, then both should want it. And the groom. And the bride.

The portal Svadbaholik.ru advises only those couples who are confident in the strength and purity of love in the family to go to church. This may take years, even decades of married life. But only then will you be able to fully appreciate the depth and significance of the sacrament of marriage. And you will treat the question of how to prepare for a wedding with maximum responsibility.

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