I don’t know how to live, life is very difficult, unbearable, disgusting, terrible! I constantly do bad things, and every time I deeply repent, everything starts anew.

What’s happening to me, what’s wrong, I can’t understand, it seems to me that only I have such problems, how to atone for my grave sins and not commit them again? How to get closer to the Lord, what to do to forgive me? I always want to pray, stand on night prayer, but sleep is stronger than me, I constantly want to sleep, apathy, neuroses, moral oppression... something inside me is destroying...

Wherever I am, with whomever, I always feel the Almighty, that He is in front of me, I definitely feel insecure that God will forgive me, although Allah forgives sins, but in my case I don’t know what it looks like...

From a religious point of view:

Lord in Holy Scripture- Koran - said: (meaning) « Say (Muhammad): O servants of the Most High, who oppressed themselves (by unbelief, polytheism, adultery), do not lose hope in the mercy of God, truly Allah forgives all sins (those who repent of their sins, and those who come to Islam from unbelief ), for He is Forgiving and Merciful» (Surah Az-Zumar, verse 53).

قُلْ يَا عِبَادِيَ الَّذِينَ أَسْرَفُوا عَلَى أَنْفُسِهِمْ لَا تَقْنَطُوا مِنْ رَحْمَةِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ اللَّهَ يَغْفِرُ الذُّنُوبَ جَمِيعًا إِنَّهُ هُوَ الْغَفُورُ

Another verse says: (meaning) « The Lord does not forgive polytheism, but forgives any other sin whom He wishes» (Surah an-Nisa, verse 48).

إِنَّ اللَّهَ لَا يَغْفِرُ أَنْ يُشْرَكَ بِهِ وَيَغْفِرُ مَا دُونَ ذَلِكَ لِمَنْ يَشَاءُ

An authentic hadith of the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) says: « One who has repented of committing a sin, as if he had never committed it» ("Sunan ibni Majah" No. 4240).

التَّائِبُ مِنْ الذَّنْبِ كَمَنْ لَا ذَنْبَ لَهُ

Everything that I have cited above is only a small part of those verses and sayings of the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings be upon him) that tell us that if we sincerely repent to the Almighty, He forgives us.

Naturally we simple people and we cannot help but sin; only angels are sinless (for they have innate faith in the Almighty) and prophets (because Allah Himself saved them from sin). But despite this, we are obliged to avoid committing forbidden things. Sins, as a rule, are committed out of weakness of faith (imaan). The stronger a person’s faith, the more he understands the greatness of the Almighty and fears the consequences for disobeying Him. Study Islam, strengthen your faith. Start small and gradually increase your worship. Read 500 blessings (salawat) to the Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) every day. Make yourself observant friends, surrounded by them, through communication with them, inshallah, your faith will strengthen.

In general, there are many methods for atonement for sins, in particular these are: complete ablution; correctly completed in compliance with all conditions obligatory prayer; friday prayer; fasting in the month of Ramadan; standing in it (in Ramadan) tarawih prayer and performing morning and night prayer collectively; making a pilgrimage (Hajj) to Mecca... there are a lot of them.

Naturally, we are talking only about sins that are between the slave and His Creator. Allah forgives the same sins that are committed between slaves only if the oppressed forgives his offender. Thus, if you took something from someone and did not return it, offended them, talked behind their back, i.e. you have oppressed human rights in any way, and you want forgiveness, you need to achieve this from the one whose rights you have compromised.

From a psychological point of view:

The fact that you ask such questions already, to some extent, characterizes you positively. You have every opportunity to correct the situation, you just don’t have the inner desire to bring it all to the end. The question arises, what exactly can force you to do the same thing over and over again, for which you subsequently have to experience pangs of conscience and experience a feeling of shame for yourself.

If a person is always striving for something, be it good or bad, we can always say that there are internal reasons behind it. The reasons for this are primarily the desire to satisfy some needs, substitution of concepts and distorted perception.

In general, it must be taken into account that a person differs from an animal in that he can control the satisfaction and dissatisfaction of his own needs by willpower. We have the power to deny ourselves anything, the main thing is that there is something for which we voluntarily give up what our inner essence strives for. Let’s take, for example, fasting. After all, a person denies himself food and water, experiences hunger and thirst, but at the same time restrains himself. What is the main condition under which a person observes all this? Obviously, this is an internal conviction that you are always under the supervision of the Almighty, and that fasting is observed for the sake of His pleasure. Otherwise, a person denies himself food and drink only when he is among people, while he can drink and eat alone. And this is already in the realm of hypocrisy.

I think that you yourself know perfectly well where the way out of this situation is. The only question for you is what prevents you from giving up the bad. So, the answer lies within you, in the unsatisfied basic needs of belonging to society, personal disorder and fear of inner emptiness. It is spiritual emptiness that is the basis that determines the entire model of your behavior. It is known that nature does not tolerate emptiness and strives to fill it in every possible way, the only question is what exactly to fill it with. Think about whether the fact that you are doing the forbidden is not some kind of attempt to find the meaning of existence, to fill your life with some content. Therefore, most likely, you cannot refuse what you are doing, because if you refuse today, tomorrow a void will form there again. It is for this reason that you need to make every effort to fill your inner world with good content.

You need to do something useful not only for you, but also for those around you. You will notice that as your good deeds increase, your sense of community with others will begin to grow noticeably. Take little, but good, meaningful, than a lot, but empty and harmless. It’s like in food: it’s better to eat a little, but healthy, than a lot, but harmful.

In conclusion, I would like to quote the words of Omar Khayyam:

To live your life wisely, you need to know a lot,

Remember two important rules to get started:

You'd rather starve than eat anything

And it’s better to be alone than with just anyone...

Muhammad-Amin Magomedrasulov
theologian

Aliaskhab Anatolyevich Murzaev
Psychologist-consultant at the Center for Social Assistance to Family and Children

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How not to sin?- This is perhaps the most important question of those people who turn to an Orthodox psychologist for help. After all, it is important not only to realize that sin leads to trouble, but also to have firm intentions to renounce sin, whatever it may be. The following conversation with a Christian helps to understand the intricacies of the question of how to learn not to sin.

Andrew: When we talk about the Bible, Dictionary Not best helper. The Bible interprets itself, not people. The Bible does not say anywhere that hell, the underworld, is a place of eternal torment.

Mila: Oh... it would have been better said! Otherwise, it somehow relaxed me, I need to be afraid so as not to sin, when sin in itself is pleasant and under the guise of good.

Andrew: Fear is the worst motive in a relationship with God. Fear is Satan's weapon. The Bible says there is no fear in love.

Mila: That's it... the concept of salvation from torment and from Satan, from his power, and love - that’s what it was! How not to sin?

Andrew: Think more about Christ, about His character, love for you, about His mercy, purity, righteousness, holiness.

Mila: Yes, that’s all I think about)))

Andrey: Well done. 🙂

Mila: You see, this doesn’t stop me from doing what I was doing. I have a greater fear of being without a job than of hell. I don’t know how not to sin. And fear comes from lack of faith...

Andrew: When you read the Bible, try first of all to see God, his character. The Gospels will especially help with this. After reading it, it is impossible not to love Jesus. 🙂

Mila: I love Christ! He is the ideal of a man and a man.

Andrew: “If you love Me, keep My commandments”

Mila: the evil one is giving me thoughts that, they say, it’s okay - work as you worked, one thing doesn’t interfere with the other

Andrey: Don't be afraid. 🙂 God will never leave you. 🙂

Mila: In general, the struggle is on)

Andrey: The whole Universe is at His disposal, all gold and silver are His. 🙂 And there’s no way without a fight. We are either at peace with ourselves and the spirit of this world, but at enmity with God, or at peace with God, but at enmity with Satan.

Mila: You know... I'm not afraid of being left without money.

Mila: And unclaimed...

Andrey: Unclaimed?! 🙂 Oh! You don't know how much work God has in store for you! 🙂

Mila: You know, what is the general advice, how to get rid of sin?

Pray and sin if you cannot live without sin, but sooner or later sinning will become disgusting. In some moments this happened, but in terms of work... it’s not quite working out yet. I’m just afraid I won’t pay for my studies, so I’m stalling for time. But it’s clear that my husband won’t leave me because of this...

Andrew: Liberation from the slavery of sin does not happen in one day, but it must happen... Some become coarse in heart, waiting until it becomes disgusting to sin and get used to sin. “Ephraim became attached to idols. Leave him..." (c)

Mila: Thank you, you are a real healer of the soul, that’s what I’m talking about “ ABOUT! You don't know how much work God has in store for you! 🙂 »

Andrew: God is a Healer. 🙂 “We are worthless slaves. What needed to be done was done” (c)

Mila: yes, yes, I agree) all praise to the Lord)

Andrew: His Spirit comforts and encourages us. 🙂 Glory to him.

Andrey: You need to make up your mind. And you will see His wisdom and power! 🙂

Mila: I’ll decide when I’ve at least paid for my studies. Otherwise, my husband will definitely not pay for my whims in his opinion

Andrey: That is. is your husband more powerful and richer than God? 🙂

Mila: On the contrary, he has come to terms with my eternal student life, but I have no right to extract money from my family. Moral. It’s already hard for him to support us. Tell me, is Satan giving me these thoughts? Should I trust God and suddenly quit everything?

Andrey: Well, then trust in God. If you really need this study and blessing, then God will provide payment. I lived without a salary for a year and didn’t need anything. 🙂

Mila: You lived on your own.

Andrey: That is, God has enough money for me alone, but if there is more, then He already has problems with finances? 🙂 We have a problem - we don’t see a way out of the impasse. And God, by the way, also has a “problem”: He has thousands of ways out of this dead end for us, and now He decides which of these thousands to choose. 🙂

Mila: Yes, I agree :)

P.S. Without getting into disputes on the existence of hell, as taught Orthodox Church and the actual interpretation of the Bible by evangelists, it should be noted the basic rule that allows you not to sin, and it is described in Scripture.

The word “sin” itself in Russian could initially be interpreted as “error,” as evidenced by such cognate words as “ogresha” and “error”. By the way, in other languages ​​this word had a similar meaning. In Greek, this concept was denoted by the word ἁμάρτημα (ἁμαρτία), which most accurately means “failure, fault,” and the Jews denoted an unintentional transgression with the word “het,” which can also be translated as “blunder.”

IN modern society, if you don't take into account religious aspect, the concept of “sin” is perceived as a violation of the laws of public morality, as well as state laws. Thus, a person who observes the laws of society, does not commit crimes provided for by the criminal code, and does not violate secular moral and ethical standards, no longer sins.

The situation is somewhat more complicated with religious concept sin, because each religion interprets the concept of sin in its own way.

Consciousness of sinfulness

Nevertheless, people often feel sinful, worry about living incorrectly, and acting unfairly towards others. Living with such thoughts is not easy. But the truth is that no person can be absolutely good or hopelessly bad.

If you are tormented by the consciousness of your own imperfection, you can try to solve this problem by working with internal feelings of guilt, as well as developing your own empathy. By ceasing to feel guilty for something for which a person is not actually to blame, it will become easier for him to accept himself and believe that he is not so bad, and make his own life more joyful. And developed empathy, i.e. The ability to feel the experiences and emotions of those around you, the ability to put yourself in the place of another, to understand what he experiences when he is treated in one way or another, will help you treat your neighbor more carefully and not hurt him with your actions, and therefore objectively become better, i.e. e. stop sinning.

Get rid of guilt

Sometimes the feeling of guilt is mistakenly confused with conscience, when a person worries about unseemly acts he has committed and strives to correct them. But guilt is something else. This is a feeling of personal responsibility for something for which a person, in principle, cannot be responsible.

You need to work with feelings of guilt, and usually the process is long. Sometimes you can’t do without the help of a psychologist. You can start by understanding the following important principles.

1. Each person is different from those around him, and has the right to live as his conscience, reason, common sense tells him, religious beliefs, intuition. It is impossible to please everyone, it is impossible to become good to everyone. Of course, reasonable compromises with others are the best way out of possible conflict situations, but concessions must be mutual and not harm the individual.

2. You shouldn’t allow people to blame you for things for which you cannot be held responsible: bad weather and a tense international situation, the fact that a child brought another “D”, a retired mother has joint problems, and the boss is in a bad mood. If you feel that the interlocutor is trying to do just that, it is better to simply walk away from communication and postpone the resolution of important issues until later.

3. You are not responsible for the consequences of your actions that you could not expect. So, it’s not your fault that you gave your mother a travel package, and she broke her leg while making this trip.

4. It is not your fault that you live richer, more comfortable or happier than your relative, friend or colleague (unless, of course, you achieved this at his expense). If you still feel guilty about this, do something useful for others without demanding gratitude from them: create a flowerbed in front of the house, help a neighbor load things for moving to the dacha.

Guilt is a destructive state that can lead a person to a consciousness of his own inferiority, so it is necessary to start working with it as early as possible.

Develop empathy

The ability to empathize with another, to understand exactly what emotions and feelings he is experiencing, helps to understand the nature of these feelings, which means, if possible, try to make sure that people at least do not experience negative emotions when communicating with you. Isn’t this what Christianity calls “love for one’s neighbor”?

All mentally healthy people and even some animals are capable of empathy, but there is no limit to perfection, and this ability can be developed for the benefit of oneself and others.

1. First, learn to clearly determine what exactly a person is experiencing at a particular moment in time. Notice changes in facial expressions, voice timbre, gestures, and body position.

2. Try to get used to his physical state and feel the same as he does. Copy all the features of changes in his appearance that you notice at the moment of experiencing some emotion and try to feel the same as he does.

3. Having tuned in to the emotions of your interlocutor in this way, you can try to bring him out of a negative emotional state, however, this requires special skills.

For ordinary life It will be a good idea to master the first two levels of empathy, and then you will have a much better chance of starting to live and act in harmony with others and with yourself. And this is the main condition for not feeling like a sinner.

Sometimes this is not so much a crime, not so much the fulfillment of an evil intention, but a mistake... And sometimes in many ways this is true. We do not want to sin, we are tired of sinning, we are tired of sinning, we have a firm intention not to repeat our previous sins. But then circumstances are chosen in a certain way, a situation arises that is tempting for us, and we fall...

From what? Here, probably, we can always talk about a whole complex of reasons. And about sinful habits, easily acquired but difficult to overcome. And about weakness of will, lack of determination “even to the point of bleeding.” And about the lack of faith that deprives us of God’s help when we most need it. And about the depravity of our nature, the common tendency for people to sin.

But there is one more reason, which stands somewhat apart from the others and is most “responsible” for the error. It’s so self-evident, so ordinary, that it’s somehow awkward to even talk about it... And it’s also impossible not to talk about it: too often we all stumble on something other than just this. This reason is the lack of the necessary habit: think first and only then act. I can say definitely and with full conviction: if we had always embarked on this or that enterprise before and only after, then the lion’s share of our sins would not have been committed.

This, of course, applies primarily to “involuntary sins.”

The other day we were talking with one person, and he told me about such a dramatic episode:

“Let’s go,” he says, “we’re on the river in winter,” and under my friend the ice cracked, and she began to fall through. And I think: we need to run to her, but what if we go under the ice together? Thank God, before I had to do anything, she had already gotten out on her own. And if not, what then? And what should one do in such a case, how to overcome oneself?

How to overcome yourself - I answer - question, of course, important, but it seems to me that here you first need to ask another question: why did you even go for a walk on the ice, what was the need for this?..

How many tragic, absurd and at the same time terrible “accidents” happen precisely because of this - the lack of the habit of asking oneself: what am I doing, why, what can this lead to? One jumped into the water from a steep bank and stuck his head into the rocky bottom, another with a parachute at a very young age and broke his back, the third raced through the city in a car with someone as stubborn as himself and knocked down a man, the fourth drank, despite the ulcer that had opened, he ended up in the hospital. And everyone later repented: “Why, why did I do this!.. If only I had thought before!”

And in completely everyday and less tragic situations it happens the same. You see, for example, that your friend/co-worker/boss is irritated, literally out of his mind, but you go to him with some kind of conversation that predictably will lead to an explosion. Only you don’t predict - you’re too lazy to do it. And in the end - a quarrel, a scandal, because you couldn’t remain silent: word for word, and they said such things to each other that it would definitely have been better to remain silent from the very beginning. And again you repent and lament: “If only...”

Or you have an unbearable desire to speak out on a topic that is slippery, complex, ambiguous. And he spoke out, and slipped, and got confused in complexity, and condemned, and unwittingly deceived, slandered someone. And again there is only one thing left to do: go to confession.

But almost the same can be said about “ordinary” and “free” ones. “Freedom” is when you understand well that you are going to commit not some basically neutral act that could turn into a sin, but actually a sin as such.

Your heart has already almost bowed to him, you have already completely decided on him... Here you should stop at least for a moment and think: “How many times has this happened before? I sinned, violated my conscience for the sake of some momentary, short-term pleasure, some highly dubious joy. And how I suffered afterwards! How sick my soul was, how much time I worried, came out of this painful state, tried to return to myself, sought reconciliation with the Lord and people! Was it worth it?..”

What a useful, what a vital rule: don’t do it without thinking! And rational at that: we are great amount We very often spend time and effort on correcting what was done through thoughtlessness and imprudence.

And at the same time, it turns out that there seems to be nothing more difficult than adhering to this rule. Not that there's anything impossible about it. I just don’t want to... I really don’t want to! Moreover, what if it blows over, and suddenly everything will be fine?

I wish it were so! But experience is inexorable: if you didn’t think, you definitely sinned. This is so true that not to think is a sin in itself. And, perhaps, there is only one way to avoid it, to cope with it: to acquire the appropriate skill. So simple, so ordinary that, again, talking about it is inconvenient, awkward. But it is necessary, it is still necessary: ​​it is so rare these days, as if... As if we had completely forgotten how to think.

All people are susceptible to committing sins, except the prophets (peace be upon them). The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

عَنْ أَنَسٍ رَضِيَ اللَّهُ عَنْهُ ، أَنّ النَّبِيَّ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ ، قَالَ : كُلُّ ابْنِ آدَمَ خَطَّاءٌ وَخَيْرُ الْخَطَّائِينَ التَّوَّابُونَ

« All Adam's children make mistakes, and the best of those who make mistakes are those who repent "(Hakim, 3165).

We know the importance of repentance, we understand that it is necessary to repent of sins, maybe we do, but it is extremely difficult to leave sin, to stop committing this or that bad act to which we are accustomed.

How should we approach sin and repentance so that we can finally overcome ourselves and stop committing sins?

Without proper awareness that our sin is truly a sin, a disobedience of Allah, a cause of Allah's wrath and His punishment, we will not be able to make a firm intention to leave the sin.

Having made a firm intention to leave sin, one must repent, make a sincere tawba and return to Allah. Returning to Allah means starting to worship Him more diligently, loving Him, and showing humility before Him.

Frequent prayers will help a person to distance himself from sins, prostrations. In the Qur'an, Allah Almighty said:

وَاسْتَعِينُواْ بِالصَّبْرِ وَالصَّلاَةِ وَإِنَّهَا لَكَبِيرَةٌ إِلاَّ عَلَى الْخَاشِعِينَ

(meaning): " And seek Allah's help in every matter you do through complete patience and prayer; Indeed, prayer is a heavy burden for everyone except those who are humble before Allah... " (Surah Al-Baqarah, 45)

Frequent prayers and prostrations help to stop sinning. At the same time, we need to be patient when we are led into sin. Sin has its prerequisites. For example, the prerequisites for drinking alcohol are purchasing alcohol, going to a place of sale or production, being present in a company of people drinking alcohol, and the like. It is necessary to abandon preconditions, show patience, and then it will be easier to leave sin.

There are people who have a desire to sin when they are left alone, alone with themselves. In this case, it is better not to be alone.

In addition, it is necessary to often make dua, asking Allah Almighty for help in forsaking sins. We often repeat the words “ La havla wa la quwwata illya bi-Llyah ", but many do not know the meaning of these words. They mean: " There is no power to abstain from sin and to worship Allah except from Allah" Therefore, dua plays an important role in giving up the forbidden.

And finally, you should make friends with righteous people. Friendship with the righteous helps us become righteous; this is a proven means. Distance from the righteous is a killing poison.

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

وعن أبى موسى الأشعري رضى الله عنه أن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال إنما مثل الجليس الصالح وجليس السوء كحامل المسك ونافخ الكير فحامل المسك إما أن يحذيك وإما أن تبتاع منه وإما أن تجد منه ريحاً طيبة ونافخ الكير إما أن يحرق ثيابك وإما أن تجد منه ريحاً منتنة متفق عليه

« Verily, the example of a good and a bad friend is similar to the example of a bowl seller and a person blowing a blacksmith's bellows. As for the musk seller, he will either give you something from his goods, or you will buy something from him, or you will smell the aroma emanating from him. As for the bellows blower, it will either burn through your clothes or you will smell the stench emanating from it " (Bukhari, Muslim)

The instructive story of Ibrahim ibn Adaham

“One man came to Ibrahim ibn Adaham (may Allah have mercy on him) and said:

- O Abu Ishaq, I cannot control myself. Please give me something that will help me cope with this and that will save my heart.

“If you accept the five conditions,” said Ibrahim, “and are able to practice them, your disobedience will not harm you.”

- Tell me these conditions, O Abu Ishaq! - the man exclaimed.

– First condition: When you want to disobey Allah, do not eat anything from the provision that He has provided.

- But what will I eat? Everything on earth is from Him!

– Is it right to eat what He has given and at the same time disobey Him?

- No. What is the second condition?

“If you want to disobey Him, leave His possessions.”

– This is even more difficult! - the man exclaimed. – Where should I live then, if the east and west belong to Him?

“Is it right to eat His food and live on His land and yet disobey Him?” – asked Ibrahim.

- No. What is the third condition?

– When you want to disobey Him, despite the fact that you eat what He gives and live on His land, find a place where He will not see you speaking out against Him.

- How is this possible, O Ibrahim? After all, He knows everything, even our innermost thoughts!

– Is it right to disobey Him when you eat what He gives, live on His land and know that He sees all your actions?

- Of course not! - the man answered. – Tell us about the fourth condition.

“When the angel of death comes to take your soul, tell him: “Give me a reprieve so that I can repent and do good deeds.”

“But he won’t accept my request!”

“Then, if you cannot hold off death long enough to repent, and you know that when it comes there will be no reprieve, then how can you hope for salvation?”

– What is the fifth condition?

– When the angels of hell come to you (ban) on the Day of Judgment to take you to the fire, do not go with them.

- They won’t leave me! - the man exclaimed.

“Then how can you hope to be saved?”

- Enough, enough, Ibrahim! I ask Allah for forgiveness and turn to Him!

The man's repentance was sincere, and from that time on he was diligent in worshiping Allah and avoided bad actions until his death " (“At-Tawwabin”, Ibn Quddama)

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