If God gives a woman a child. What to do if the Lord does not give a child. About health and education

As for having many children, having few children, or even childlessness (infertility), this is in the power of God. He gives to each according to his ability (Matt. 9:15), many or few children, or none.

Childbearing is also a talent, that is, a gift from God. But the Creator did not give all people the same number of talents. One gave five, the other two, and someone one. God gave Abraham one child. Isaac - two. Jacob is twelve. Leah, for example, He gave ten children, and Rachel two. And for some, none. How many talents - children - God will give spouses, He decides. But if parents decide not to accept their child, or to avoid children altogether, or to increase their number in the absence of a modest and honest married life, then God will not reward them, but will punish them.

Other spouses may have one child after another. But if they do not show diligence in their upbringing, in the teaching and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), they will not deserve praise.

Spouses must fulfill their duty to bear children honestly. And the Lord will give as much as He wants and take as He wants. In this matter, no interference of spouses in the work of God is allowed. No planning for the number of children using a calendar, contraceptives or other methods!

Now the Lord gives many few children, Himself uses birth control. "Why are we, doing the same thing, guilty?" some will ask. But the disputants do not think about the following. It is illogical and completely unthinkable if someone wiser than us adjusted some mechanism, and we, inexperienced, for some reason correct this adjustment in our own way. Every human regulation is from the evil one. It speaks of self-importance and brazen interference in the rights of the Lord. This disrupts the connection and communication with the Creator and has disastrous consequences. After all, God cannot be mocked. It is a fearful thing to fall into the hands of the living God (Heb. 10:31).

The fulfillment of the Christian family is the second idea of marriage. Without a family, there is no fullness of life in marriage, even if the spouses are filled with unanimity and mutual love. To complete the meaning of the happiness of marriage, children are needed on whom spouses can focus their love and their cares. And it is not in vain that some of the Fathers of the Church in the words of Jesus Christ: where two ormpoegathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them(Matthew 18:20) see the blessing of the family. Christians should not avoid having children. In the birth of children, one cannot see only a physiological and worldly burden. A child is a gift of God, a great mystery of God, the beginning of a new life, a great joy, which is why it is said in the Gospel: wife whengives birth, endures sorrow, because her hour has come; butwhen she gives birth to a baby, she no longer remembers sorrow for joy,for man was born into the world(John 16:21). There is no more heinous, more heinous crime than the murder of one's own infant before it is born. For such a murder, the church determines a 20-year excommunication from St. Communions. In our time, such crimes have become commonplace and are justified by the difficulties of existence, but these words contain slander against the poor: it is not the poor who predominantly commit these crimes, but wealthy people.

The poor usually resignedly bear the hardships of many children, but at the same time they also experience its joys. The rich, avoiding the difficulties of many children, do not see the joys of the family. Childbearing is the will of God, the law of nature, clearly established in both the Old and New Testaments. Even before the fall of the first people, God blessed childbearing. The book of Genesis says: And God created man in his own image, in the image ofGod created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them and God said to them: be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it (Gen. 1:27-28).

Some mistakenly think that the sin of the first people consisted in their physical rapprochement. There could be no sin in this, for that is how they were created. Sin lies not in physical rapprochement, but in its perverted manifestations. But the first people did not sin by this, but by betraying God. Even if people did not sin, they would have offspring, only they would have offspring free from sin.

In reality, children began to be born to people only after their fall into sin, and therefore they were born infected with sin (Genesis 4:1). Despite this, after the Flood, God again blessed childbearing, through which salvation was to come: And God blessed Noah and his sons, and said to them:be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth(Gen. 9:1). And God repeated the same blessing to Abraham, and Isaac, and Jacob, and other Old Testament righteous people. David in Psalm 127 speaks of the blessedness of childbearing: blessedfearing the Lord, walking in His way. Blessedecu, and goodyou will. Your wife is like a fruitful vine, in countriesyour house; your sons, like a new planting of olives,around your meal. Behold taco be blessed man,fear the Lord.

In the New Testament, the Lord Jesus Christ was angry with the disciples who forbade bringing to him babies, and blessedchildren (Luke 18:15). an. Paul Convinces Young Wives to love husbands, to love children, ... to be guardians of the house, kind, obedient to their husbands (Tit. 2, 4—5). AT Elsewhere he writes: I wish young widows to marry, have children, rule the house. (1 Tim. 5:14). Speaking of the fact that the wife, seduced, was the first to fall into a crime, an. Paul continues: However, he will be saved through childbearing, if he continues in faith and love, and in holiness with chastity (1 Tim. 2:15).

How to understand the words that a woman is saved by childbearing?

A woman is saved not just by childbearing, but by loving children, sacrificial love, when she does not seek her own in love, but raises her child for God, with God and in God. Love of children always begins with love of God. Therefore, these apostolic words should not be understood only as salvation by the number of children born. You can have many children and not take care of them.

The Orthodox family is saved through childbearing, since the more children, the more opportunities to show love and care.

Why don't all families have children? And often not in those families where they would like to have them and could bring them up well?

Sometimes spouses themselves do not want to have children, and sometimes God does not give them. The unwillingness to have children is a distortion of the meaning of marriage, which lies in childbearing. The family is formed in order for a new life to be born. Why doesn't the Lord give children? Maybe the previous life was not very pious, or it happens that the Lord gave children, and the parents themselves refused at one time.

From the Holy Scriptures we know examples of fruitless marital unions. Childlessness was perceived in former times as a punishment for the sins of parents, and parents were very worried and prayed all their lives for the gift of children. Joachim and Anna, Elizabeth and Zechariah... And we see that at the end of their lives, when according to all physiological laws they could not have children, the Lord gave them a child after they made a vow to dedicate the child to God. The birth of children is a moment of man's mysterious relationship with God, a humble moment. If the Lord gives children, you need to rejoice, if not, you need to pray to God, humble yourself, endure.

Is it possible to dissolve a childless marriage, considering it graceless?

Holy Scripture says that for this reason marriages were not annulled; spouses humbled themselves, endured, carried their cross.

Above, we have listed the reasons for the dissolution of marriage, among them childlessness is not indicated.

Can infertility be treated?

The Lord helps through people and circumstances. Doctors are specialists who can fulfill the will of God to heal people. There is no ban on going to doctors, but artificial insemination is not blessed.

From the teachings of Elder Paisios of Athos

Multiplicity and Providence of God

The elder said more than once that some parents aim to have young children and God, of course, allows them, because he respects the autocratic will of a person, and also because sometimes he “cannot stand” our grumbling and leaves to be according to our will. But then parents with many children face a lot of problems: overestimating their strength, they gave birth, for example, to eight, and as a result they cannot cope with the many troubles associated with raising so many children.

The elder said that God Himself determines the number of children in a family: as soon as He sees that parents cannot raise another child, He immediately stops the birth of children.

And for those who seek by compulsion to acquire children, the elder advised to leave this to God, for He Himself knows the right time. Some, even being spiritually unsettled, "put pressure" on God to give them a child at the moment when they desire it. God, out of His love, will give them a child, but they will soon see that the child, growing up, becomes nervous, for he inherited the passions of his parents, and they themselves enter into a new, even greater anxiety, because they have acquired a child - without his fault - an heir their passions, from which they did not take care to be cleansed, before with an effort to ask a child from God.

So, the elder believed that spouses should completely surrender into the hands of God and not interfere with His will. Let the spouses leave God to act according to His will, for in this way His grace, His blessing, will dwell in their souls and cover their family.

The spiritual meaning of childlessness

For many people, God did not give children on purpose, so that, as a result, they would love the children of the whole world as their own. God deprived them of a small family, but gave them the right, which gives only a few, to belong to the great family of Christ.

The elder also reminded of the righteous Joachim and Anna, who remained childless until old age, which at that time was considered a great evil, and the people insulted them. God, however, knew that the Mother of God would be born from them, Who, in turn, would give birth to the Savior of all people, our Lord Jesus Christ!

Only the Lord God has the right to "plan" a family

The elder always emphasized that one must have absolute trust in the Providence of God and, so to speak, not plan children, for God gives children. And He alone knows how many children to give - He alone, and no one else. Some, however, decide, because life has become difficult, to have only one child, so they are protected. However, this is a great sin, because these Christians show that they themselves arrange their affairs better than God.

Being proud, they underestimate the Providence of God. But God sees both the state of mind and the economic situation of such Christians, and sees many other things that we do not see and do not know. And if the family is poor, and it barely has enough money to support one child, then the One Who Knows Everything can take care of the economic strengthening of the family. To those who are trying to acquire children either by artificial insemination or by adopting other people's children, the elder explained that God deprived them of their children, of course, for their own good. And they should not achieve what they want in their human ways, because later they will be convinced that God did not give them a child, caring for their good. And we must well remember that only that deed is good, which is consistent with the will of God, and not with our stubbornness and with our human inclinations.

There shouldn't be selfishness

Many lay people do not create families, and if they do, they do not have children. Thus, they themselves ruin their kind. A monk must neglect himself - and his life in general - and give himself entirely to others. But the owner of the family cannot act like this, because he has a spouse and children and is primarily obliged, according to the Law of God, to take care of them, and only an excess can "save" for others.

When prayers are answered

Some spouses lived in great grief: many years have passed since the wedding day, but they still had no children. The doctors admitted that they could not help them. Then the couple decided to turn to the elder.

The elder consoled them:

Dont be upset! Go to confession (and they haven't confessed for years), take communion when your confessor tells you, and God will give you children. Pray you too, I will pray too.

The good spouses did what the elder advised them to do, and God immediately gave them children, according to the promise of the elder.

Today, this is a very good family, joyful and happy, and the spouses thank the elder doubly: for helping them come to Christ through the sacraments of the Church, and for the fact that they had a chance to taste His generous gifts.

When marrying and getting married, young people dream and hope that the Lord will bless their family with children. But years pass, five, ten years ... and the long-awaited pregnancy does not occur. How to be in such a situation? What to do? It is clear that, first of all, to pray for children, but is it necessary to do something else, is it necessary to turn to modern medicine for help? And are all medical technologies that have recently become very popular, such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), acceptable to the Orthodox? The pastors of the Russian Church answer.

The main thing for a Christian is a righteous life

- We are not told that in the case of a childless union, it is necessary to “do something”. Being a natural consequence of the carnal intimacy of the spouses, they bring cares and joys, plans and disappointments, sacrificial service and comforts of mutual love into their lives. However, the main goal of our life - the acquisition of eternal salvation - does not significantly depend on the presence or absence of children, which means that, with all human dispositions for their birth, the main feeling should remain trust in the Providence of God, in charge of all our earthly things that do not depend on us. circumstances.

– Many holy people were not born immediately and from elderly parents. In this case, they begged from God and were literally prayed-for children; at the same time, the passion of youth was not transmitted to those born from elderly parents.

Artificial insemination technologies - a gross intrusion into the sacrament of childbirth

– If God does not give a family children, one must hope, do not despair, wait patiently. Today, many people are not very healthy, and therefore it happens that even after several years of marriage there are no children. We must pray and fast. Pray to the righteous Joachim and Anna, Peter and Fevronia. Make pilgrimages to or from other places.

The long absence of children from the spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other

The long absence of children from spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other, because when everything is easy for a person, everything is given to him for free, he does not appreciate it too much. And when people are connected by some kind of joint misfortune, they become closer to each other, they begin to love each other especially sensitively, having overcome this misfortune.

As for IVF, which is marketed as a fertility treatment. Artificial insemination is a gross intrusion into the sacrament of conception, into the sacrament of procreation. And we know that the Council of Bishops of 2000 forbade Orthodox Christians to resort to this technology, although some slyly see in this prohibition an opportunity to resort to some variants of artificial conception. But the decisions of the Council clearly state that from the Orthodox point of view, all varieties of in vitro fertilization, involving the preparation, preservation and subsequent destruction of embryos, are unacceptable. With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed.

Let me briefly remind you what the essence of this technology is. Superovulation is stimulated in a woman in order to receive a large number of eggs at once, sometimes even up to 20; the best of them are selected, fertilized with the husband's seed and placed in a special incubator for several days. Then some (always several) are transplanted into the uterus, others are frozen, they can later be used by the same married couple, and others. Such is the conveyor for the production of children. And a lot of money is spinning here: one attempt with all the accompanying procedures costs at least 150 thousand rubles in Moscow. And, for example, people came to me who made 10-15 attempts. And to no avail. Because IVF does not give a 100% result! This is a business on human grief, not infertility treatment.

With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed

Now let's ask ourselves a question: what happens if all the embryos transplanted into the uterus began to develop? After all, several of them are introduced at once, so that there is a greater likelihood of their taking root, because not all take root ... What happens when several take root? “Superfluous” embryos are reduced, that is, they are removed surgically - abortions are performed. So, during IVF, fertilized embryos are destroyed, which are already babies with a soul. And it turns out that a person who goes for IVF goes for abortions.

There is such a crafty trick: some medical centers offer "IVF for believers." It is proposed not to implant several embryos, and then remove some of them, but to do a sparing superovulation, get a small number of embryos and implant them. But this does not change the essence of the matter.

A person going for IVF is essentially going for an abortion.

IVF technology is completely godless. A person takes on the function of the Lord God, intervenes in what should mysteriously happen in the mother's body.

Another question: why should fertilized embryos develop in an incubator for several days? Here's why. To find out if there are any pathologies, mainly genetic. And there is an order signed by the Minister of Health, according to which, in case of a danger of developing pathologies, the embryo should not be transplanted. Such an embryo is killed.

I'm not talking about the fact that with IVF there are much more miscarriages, much more missed pregnancies. And many more premature babies are born.

Unfortunately, there are very few statistical studies on the health of children born through IVF. Why? Because it's a business, a corporate conspiracy. Data is available, but not disclosed. But something is becoming known. So, academician Altukhov, a famous geneticist, an Orthodox person, testifies: almost 20% of IVF children have mental pathologies.

Another problem: in nature, when an egg enters the mother’s uterus, it is met by a million spermatozoa, but only one is attached - the most “strong”, so to speak. But IVF can be done even with a very weak seed of the husband. And if the seed material is not of very good quality, what will the children be like?

So the Orthodox way is this: pray, wait. And if the Lord does not send a child, do what has been done in Russia and in other countries for centuries - to take an orphan child or from an orphanage for upbringing.

We must accept God's Providence

– There are secrets of Divine care for people, they are incomprehensible. When Rachel, the wife of the patriarch Jacob, who had no offspring, rebuked her husband: “Give me children, and if not, I die,” Jacob replied: “Am I the God who did not give you the fruit of the womb?” (Gen. 30:1-2).

If the Lord does not give children, then first of all we must turn to Him. Often children were served after fervent prayers, fasting and alms. The Lord is testing parents, whether they are ready to accept a child precisely as a gift from God, and not as a product of the latest medical technologies.

Among Russian women unable to conceive, 70% suffered from abortion

Of course, there are many shades in the topic raised. Sometimes - the result of the sins of the youth of the parents. One of the statistics says that among Russian women who do not have the opportunity to conceive a child, 70% suffered from an abortion. Certain types of contraception also have a detrimental effect on childbearing. In such cases, the person himself deprived himself of the opportunity to give birth to children. It turns out such an absurdity - at first a person does everything possible so that he does not have children, and then he is ready to turn to anything, for example, surrogate motherhood, just to get a child. Such people need, first of all, repentance, to remove from themselves the sinful causes of infertility, and then, as the Lord gives.

There is a different situation: the spouses tried to live according to the commandments of God, but for health reasons they cannot conceive. In such situations, one must, of course, be treated, try possible natural remedies, but entrust the final result into the hands of God.

In general, each case is individual. From a little pastoral practice, I can say that a confessor often sees that it is more useful for such and such a particular person to be alone than to have a child, but for another it would be better to have babies and dissolve completely in sacrificial care for them. Someone cannot take a child from an orphanage in any way, because they lack patience and elementary affection and love. And for someone, an adopted someone else's child becomes so dear that God's blessing overshadows such a family and home comfort reigns in it. I even observed situations when women who did not have a family took children from an orphanage, and not one, but two at once - a brother and a sister, and these women became wonderful mothers. Of course, the absence of a father affects, but these children have a mother, and this is already joy and happiness.

I will tell the story of one of my friends. Her name is Evgenia. She married at 25, and for five years they had no children. She went to doctors, went to a family planning center, which was literally overflowing with women suffering from infertility. Evgenia saw that often the search for a diagnosis and treatment entails a huge waste of money, and as a result, nothing happens, and then doctors offer IVF. Having got acquainted with the IVF method, she realized that she could not resort to this, a protest arose inside, although she was not yet a church person. The fact is that IVF is a gross manipulation of human life: embryos are harvested, preserved, and the excess ones are simply destroyed, that is, the same abortion occurs. Eugenia learned that there are cases when, after a long period of infertility, someone received healing in a miraculous way in the temple. So she came to the idea that only God gives children. Through her infertility, Eugenia came to faith, and her husband was also baptized. She herself confessed and took communion. I read penitential canons, prayers for children.

After the holy spring, she had a dream: she is carrying a basket in which lies a child.

Somehow she found out about the Borovsky Monastery, which has a font, and many said that if you take a dip there, then illnesses disappear. When she and her husband made the pilgrimage and managed to take a dip, two weeks later she already had a positive pregnancy test. Before that, I could not get pregnant for five years! And after the holy spring she had a dream: she is carrying a basket in which lies a child; she asks, "What's your name?" He replied: "Daniel". And she was told during examinations and ultrasound that she would have a girl. But a boy was born, and he was named Daniel.

When Daniil was already going to kindergarten, one day she became ill, bleeding began. It turned out that she was pregnant, but there was a miscarriage. The doctors talked about the complication and the need for some kind of operation, they said that now she would definitely never give birth, except through IVF. Evgenia went to her confessor, who, having prayed, said: “I think that it is not necessary to have an operation, but I bless you for a daughter.” Exactly one month later, she became pregnant - the doctors were shocked. Indeed, a daughter was born, and they named her Anastasia. Evgenia herself firmly understood that children are from God, which means that God should be addressed first of all.

In general, any deed is truly good only when it is in harmony with the will of God. And the will of God is not determined as quickly as we would like. If the spouses diligently turn to the Lord in their prayers, coordinate their desires with the confessor, the will of God will nevertheless be revealed to them, and then it will be clear what is right for them: to expect miraculous grace-filled help, undergo treatment, or take a child from an orphanage into the family .

You can’t be guided by emotions alone, you need prudence and prudence

– Of course, the absence of children in the family is an occasion to start more seriously and soberly to lead your Christian life and pray purely for the gift of children. Here patience needs to be shown no small amount, and it happens that the Lord rewards for this patience and constancy in doing good, so that children will be born in the family even after three, five or more years of “barrenness”. This is a great joy and a great mercy! And parents who conceived and gave birth to a child in such difficult circumstances truly know the high price and meaning of fatherhood and motherhood. If only they would not “stop there” and turn their valuable child into some kind of idol, an idol around which the whole world revolves. This should not be, and it can even be called a crime against God, because the Lord gives a child not at all in order to be raised from him as an egoist who is used to thinking that he is the navel of the earth and something completely special compared to “everyone else.” ". That is why it would be good if there were many children in the family ...

With reasoning, you can resort to medical care: the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit.

But if there are no children and no, even despite obvious efforts in keeping piety and prayer, there always comes a moment when the family asks the question: where is the “line of expectation”? And in what? Should I continue to live, completely and humbly relying on the Lord, or adopt children, or should I resort to medical help? It seems that, firstly, everything should be done with reason and spiritually, that is, with prayer and advice from the family confessor, again because people are different and circumstances are different. Someone may need to show extreme humility with patience (their faith allows them to do just that), for someone it will be right and good to turn to doctors, undergo an examination and resort to their help with reason, because the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit, it is not a sin to resort to the help of doctors. But this is where reasoning is needed, because we know that some modern methods of "reproducing" are contrary to God's commandments. So here you have to be careful not to cross the line of what is permitted.

And for some families, in accordance with their location and well-being, perhaps the way opens for the adoption of those unfortunate children who are deprived of paternal and maternal warmth and care. And we know families where there are not one, but several such adopted children, and they, together with their adoptive parents, make up a real big family. This, of course, is the work of God, blessed, but here, too, prudence and prudence are needed so as not to be guided by emotions alone, often transient, remembering that the decision to adopt is a great responsibility, so that “stepping back” will then be akin to the sin of betrayal. May the Lord keep it from this! Therefore, here, too, you need to consult with your confessor, pray hard and soberly assess your strengths and capabilities.

Do everything only with the help and blessing of God

“Put on the whole armor of God” (Eph. 6:11), the Apostle Paul tells us. Hope and wait patiently, pray and fast (but only with the blessing of the priest). And, of course, you can take a child from an orphanage. “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me” (Matt. 18:5), the Lord tells us. But artificial insemination is not worth doing, because it is contrary to nature. The Lord gave us another, natural way to conceive and give birth to children, the one that is best suited for us.

There is no need to speed things up. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us in good time

And yet it is not necessary to speed up events by doing artificial insemination, because this is an interference with Divine Providence. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us everything in good time. That is, when you need it, when it's best. We, due to our sinfulness and self-will, often do not want to understand and accept this. And so in a hurry we try to do what the Lord does. And we always do incomparably worse than God. After all, our Heavenly Father is holy and infallible, but we are weak, blind and sinful.

Therefore, you do not have to do anything yourself, but only with the help and blessing of God, which are most often and mainly taught in the Church, including through the clergy.

The prophet Abraham and Sarah also did not have children for a long time, and God gave them a son - the righteous prophet Isaac. And at an age when it is already physiologically impossible to have children. The Most Holy Theotokos was also born to the righteous Godfathers Joachim and Anna - “The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious Seraphim without comparison,” as the Holy Church sings to Her. And the righteous Zechariah and Elizabeth were born John the Baptist. “Truly I say to you, of those born of women there has not risen greater than John the Baptist” (Matt. 11:11), the Lord tells us. And all because they lived all their lives according to the will of God, they always put the holy will of God above their human will and their human desires.

And we should strive to do the same. And then future saints will be born among us, and we will live in holiness and see many miracles from the Lord. And we will see the main miracle - that God is infinite, all-perfect, merciful, crucifying Himself and saving us Love. Leading us to eternal and endless joy in the Kingdom of Heaven with all the saints who have pleased God from time immemorial. Amen.

– If the Lord does not give children, of course, it is necessary to turn to Him with fervent prayer. And the Church knows many examples when, in response to prayers, God gave a blessing and a child was conceived.

If there are no children in the marriage and the marriage is unmarried, it is necessary to get married. In all the prayers of the Sacrament of the wedding, the Lord is asked for mercy and the grace of raising children.

It will not be superfluous, as experience shows, and a pilgrimage trip to one of the saints of God. But just so that it doesn’t happen like this: “We’ll go to Matronushka, pray, and when the baby is born, we’ll forget the way to the temple.” Here, too, there is temptation. If we turn to the Lord, then the prayer should look something like this: “Lord, give a child by Your mercy, and we will devote our lives to You, and we will raise the child in Orthodoxy.” And if people's thinking is built in this way, the Lord, of course, will give His grace.

Childless all their lives, or the first child appears after many years. But here's the paradox: many women get pregnant out of wedlock. It would seem, the irony of fate? No. It has its own nuances that man does not know about, but God knows. And he gives people only what is useful to them.

Let's discuss the topic of why God does not give a child, give examples of childless couples, consider briefly the sermons of the holy fathers, priests.

About Saints Joachim and Anna

Within the church walls, many couples ask the priest: “God does not give us children. Why?" Only a perspicacious elder, a holy man, can clearly answer this question. And what will the ordinary priest say? If the priest is the spiritual mentor of a married couple, knows that the wife did not have an abortion, the husband did not live with other women before meeting his wife, both led and are leading a pious lifestyle, he probably only tells the story of Saints Joachim and Anna, the parents, as a consolation Holy Mother of God.

As the life says, Joachim and Anna lived together for many years, lived with God, were pious, and But years and decades passed, the spouses did not lose hope, they continued to ask the Lord tearfully. But as the Gospel says: “Ask, and it will be given to you,” Saint Anna became pregnant at an advanced age. The couple could not believe in a miracle. They thanked God endlessly. A girl was born - Maria. Throughout her childhood, she was quiet, inconspicuous, did not communicate with anyone, did not play. Her childish soul was completely occupied by God. When she grew older, the archangel Gabriel came to her with a white lily and announced that she was chosen by God to become his mother - Jesus Christ.

What is the meaning of this wonderful story? Parents prayed earnestly and asked God for a baby, the Lord sent them the Blessed Virgin.

Of course, if a modern couple has no children for a very long time and they constantly ask the question: “Why doesn’t God give a child?”, And the fervent prayer of a husband and wife does not stop, then they will receive what they ask for. But this does not mean that the child will necessarily be pure and holy, like the Mother of God. At least it will be a begging child. Who knows, maybe he will connect his life with God and pray for the whole world in the future.

What the priests say

Any woman who wants to give birth to a child can approach the priest with the question: “Why does God not give children?” A sermon, just advice or instruction will help to understand. But the most important thing is the will of God.

Miracles are often performed according to the faith of childless spouses: parents literally “bring” a child from a pilgrimage trip, after long standing in line to the relics and the icon of St. Matronushka. But everyone's fate is different. The main thing is not to despair.

Orphans

In Russia, there are a lot of children left without a father and mother. All existing orphanages are overcrowded. Unfortunately, babies do not live in ideal conditions. Few people are lucky enough to find themselves in a monastery shelter, where the attitude, upbringing, and quality of life are very different from state institutions.

Can you guess why God does not give children to a woman sometimes? Because he wants her to raise the orphan as her own child, to become his own mother. After all, abandoned children also need parents, attention, good education.

If God has not sent you children, think: is it time for you to adopt children? Unfortunately, this procedure is not easy and not available to everyone. It is required to collect a lot of certificates, including a certificate of income from work.

Any difficulties are rewarded with victory. Pray to God, the Mother of God and your beloved saints that everything will work out in the best way. There are many stories related to childless families, when God miraculously sends a child or several children at once.

About health and education

Does your health allow you to endure and give birth? Often the Lord protects women from misfortune, death or error. Which one? For example, a woman becomes pregnant. Then it turned out that she was strictly forbidden to give birth, even to bear a child. Both mother and child may die. There are such cases in church life.

But there are also happy stories. You can tell about one family of a priest. The father's wife is a woman of very small stature (about 1 meter). As you know, undersized women are forbidden to give birth, since the fetus will have nowhere to develop, and the internal organs of the mother will be squeezed. What happened to the little mother? Together with her husband, they began to earnestly pray to God that a healthy baby would be born, and that the mother would survive. And so it happened, fortunately. The doctors were shocked. By the way, after a while, the couple decided to have a second child.

As for another problem - education, there are also some nuances here. Can you raise a worthy person? Will you cope with difficulties? What is your own upbringing? Maybe you need to fix something in yourself.

Let's talk about why God gives sick children. There are many options here, everyone's fate is different. There is one story connected with a dying boy. The mother sat by her son's bed and wept bitterly. She began to earnestly pray to God that her son would survive. Suddenly she fell asleep and had a dream: her son grew up, did terrible things and was hanged. The Lord, through angels, asked the suffering mother what she chooses: paradise for her little son who is dying, or a gallows with shame in 20 years? The woman, unfortunately, chose the latter. Everything came true. Her son was hanged as punishment for the atrocities.

True, this story does not apply to yet, but it clearly describes the possible reasons why God does not give children at all. He wants to protect godly Christian spouses from affliction. You can answer why God does not give a second child: for almost all the same reasons:

poor health of parents;
avoidance of misfortune and sorrows;
there is a risk of not coping with both babies;
poverty.

One must be able to accept what God gives, and for what He does not give, give thanks. Remember the proverb: "Be afraid of your desires - they tend to come true." Why should they be afraid? Because they can be harmful.

Not married, but I want a baby!

Often, priests hear strange words from women who are already in their early or late thirties: “Father, age is running out, but I am all alone. Bless me to have a baby from someone for myself. Such a lady, unfortunately, does not know that the Lord is not pleased when, but nevertheless, they are born and even more often than married couples. Here you can only answer that illegitimate mothers punished themselves.

Very often this happens. Spouses ask: “Why doesn’t God give a child?”, And unmarried women cry: “The Lord sent me a sick, disobedient as punishment.” What is left for the parish priest to do? Of course, to talk at confession with everyone in order to try to understand what is the matter here.

Why get married?

A wedding is a great sacrament, the Lord sanctifies marriage. The priest reads prayers, one of them refers to the birth of children.

Why does God not give children to some spouses? Because they did not make a vow before God to always be together, they did not pray with the priest, and the Lord did not bless the marriage.

Are you sinful?

Often during confession, it turns out that once upon a time one woman had several partners, got infected from one of them and cannot give birth, and the other had an abortion. That is why God does not give children - sins, and very terrible ones. In order for spouses to have children, you need to live with God, with a clear conscience, pray and believe.

Other spouses may have one child after another. But if they do not show diligence in their upbringing, in the teaching and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4), they will not deserve praise.

The fulfillment of the Christian family is the second idea of marriage. Without a family, there is no fullness of life in marriage, even if the spouses are filled with unanimity and mutual love. To complete the meaning of the happiness of marriage, children are needed on whom spouses can focus their love and their cares. And it is not in vain that some of the Fathers of the Church in the words of Jesus Christ: where two ormpoegathered in my name, there I am in the midst of them(Matthew 18:20) see the blessing of the family. Christians should not avoid having children. In the birth of children, one cannot see only a physiological and worldly burden. A child is a gift of God, God's, the beginning of a new life, a great joy, which is why it is said in the Gospel: wife whengives birth, endures sorrow, because her hour has come; butwhen she gives birth to a baby, she no longer remembers sorrow for joy,for man was born into the world(John 16:21). There is no more heinous, more heinous crime than the murder of one's own infant before it is born. For such a murder, the church determines a 20-year excommunication from St. Communions. In our time, such crimes have become commonplace and are justified by the difficulties of existence, but these words contain slander against the poor: it is not the poor who predominantly commit these crimes, but wealthy people.

In the New Testament, the Lord Jesus Christ was angry with the disciples who forbade bringing to him babies, and blessedchildren (Luke 18:15). an. Paul Convinces Young Wives to love husbands, to love children, ... to be guardians of the house, kind, obedient to their husbands (Tit. 2, 4-5). AT Elsewhere he writes: I wish young widows to marry, have children, rule the house. (1 Tim. 5:14). Speaking of the fact that the wife, seduced, was the first to fall into a crime, an. Paul continues: However, he will be saved through childbearing, if he continues in faith and love, and in holiness with chastity (1 Tim. 2:15).

How to understand the words that a woman is saved by childbearing?

The long absence of children from spouses is a test of their feelings, a test of how much they love each other, because when a person has everything easy, everything is given to him for nothing, he does not appreciate it too much. And when people are connected by some kind of joint misfortune, they become closer to each other, they begin to love each other especially sensitively, having overcome this misfortune.

As for IVF, which is marketed as a fertility treatment. Artificial insemination is a gross intrusion into the mystery of conception, into the mystery of procreation. And we know that the Council of Bishops of 2000 forbade Orthodox Christians to resort to this technology, although some slyly see in this prohibition an opportunity to resort to some variants of artificial conception. But the decisions of the Council clearly state that from the Orthodox point of view, all varieties of in vitro fertilization, involving the preparation, preservation and subsequent destruction of embryos, are unacceptable. With artificial insemination, the embryos are always destroyed - that is, they are killed.

With artificial insemination, the destruction of embryos always occurs - that is, they are killed

Now let's ask ourselves a question: what happens if all the embryos transplanted into the uterus began to develop? After all, several of them are introduced at once, so that there is a greater likelihood of their taking root, because not all take root ... What happens when several take root? "Extra" embryos are reduced, that is, they are surgically removed - abortions are performed. So, during IVF, fertilized embryos are destroyed, which are already babies with a soul. And it turns out that a person who goes for IVF goes for abortions.

There is such a crafty trick: in some medical centers they offer "IVF for believers." It is proposed not to implant several embryos, and then remove some of them, but to do a sparing superovulation, get a small number of embryos and implant them. But this does not change the essence of the matter.

A person going for IVF is essentially going for an abortion.

IVF technology is completely godless. A person takes on the function of the Lord God, intervenes in what should mysteriously happen in the mother's body.

I'm not talking about the fact that with IVF there are much more miscarriages, much more missed pregnancies. And many more premature babies are born.

Another problem: in nature, when an egg enters the mother's uterus, it is met by a million spermatozoa, but only one is attached - the most "strong", so to speak. But IVF can be done even with a very weak seed of the husband. And if the seed material is not of very good quality, what will the children be like?

So the Orthodox way is this: pray, wait. And if the Lord does not send a child, do what has been done from time immemorial in Russia and in other countries - to take an orphan child or from an orphanage for upbringing.

We must accept God's Providence

There are secrets of Divine care for people, they are incomprehensible. When Rachel, the wife of the patriarch Jacob, who had no offspring, rebuked her husband: “Give me children, and if not, I die,” Jacob replied: “Am I the God who did not give you the fruit of the womb?” (Gen. 30:1-2).

Among Russian women unable to conceive, 70% suffered from abortion

After the holy spring, she had a dream: she was carrying a basket in which a child was lying.

Somehow she found out about the Borovsky Monastery, which has a font, and many said that if you take a dip there, then illnesses disappear. When she and her husband made the pilgrimage and managed to take a dip, two weeks later she already had a positive pregnancy test. Before that, I could not get pregnant for five years! And after the holy spring she had a dream: she is carrying a basket in which lies a child; she asks, "What's your name?" - he answered: "Daniel". And she was told during examinations and ultrasound that she would have a girl. But a boy was born, and he was named Daniel.

You can’t be guided by emotions alone, you need prudence and prudence

Of course, the absence of children in the family is an occasion to more seriously and soberly begin to lead one's Christian life and pray purely for the gift of children. Here patience needs to be shown no small amount, and it happens that the Lord rewards for this patience and constancy in doing good, so that children will be born in the family even after three, five or more years of “barrenness”. This is a great joy and a great mercy! And parents who conceived and gave birth to a child in such difficult circumstances truly know the high price and meaning of fatherhood and motherhood. If only they would not “stop there” and turn their valuable child into some kind of idol, an idol around which the whole world revolves. This should not be, and it can even be called a crime against God, because the Lord gives a child not at all in order to be raised from him as an egoist who is used to thinking that he is the navel of the earth and something completely special compared to “everyone else.” ". That is why it would be good if there were many children in the family ...

With reasoning, you can resort to medical care: the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit.

But if there are no children and no, even despite obvious efforts in keeping piety and prayer, there always comes a moment when the family asks the question: where is the “line of expectation”? And in what? Should I continue to live, completely and humbly relying on the Lord, or adopt children, or should I resort to medical help? It seems that, firstly, everything should be done with reason and spiritually, that is, with prayer and advice from the family confessor, again because people are different and circumstances are different. Someone may need to show extreme humility with patience (their faith allows them to do just that), for someone it will be right and good to turn to doctors, undergo an examination and resort to their help with reason, because the Lord also created doctors and this profession exists for our benefit, it is not a sin to resort to the help of doctors. But here reasoning is needed, because we know that some modern methods of "reproducing" are contrary to God's commandments. So here you have to be careful not to cross the line of what is permitted.

Do everything only with the help and blessing of God

- "Put on the whole armor of God" (Eph. 6:11), - the Apostle Paul tells us. Hope and wait patiently, pray and fast (but only with the blessing of the priest). And, of course, you can take a child from an orphanage. “And whoever receives one such child in My name receives Me” (Matt. 18:5), the Lord tells us. But artificial insemination is not worth doing, because it is contrary to nature. The Lord gave us another, natural way to conceive and give birth to children, the one that is best suited for us.

There is no need to speed things up. After all, everything good, and, of course, children, is given to us by God. And gives us in good time

Therefore, you do not have to do anything yourself, but only with the help and blessing of God, which are most often and mainly taught in the Church, including through the clergy.

The prophet Abraham and Sarah also did not have children for a long time, and God gave them a son - the righteous prophet Isaac. And at an age when it is already physiologically impossible to have children. The Most Holy Theotokos was also born to the righteous Godfathers Joachim and Anna - “The most honest Cherubim and the most glorious Seraphim without comparison,” as the Holy Church sings to Her. And the righteous Zechariah and Elizabeth were born John the Baptist. “Truly I say to you: of those born of women, no greater than John the Baptist has risen” (Matt. 11:11), the Lord tells us. And all because they lived all their lives according to the will of God, they always put the holy will of God above their human will and their human desires.

If the Lord does not give children, of course, it is necessary to turn to Him with fervent prayer. And the Church knows many examples when, in response to prayers, God gave a blessing and a child was conceived.

Let's discuss the topic of why God does not give a child, give examples of childless couples, and briefly consider the sermons of priests.

About Saints Joachim and Anna

Within the church walls, many couples ask the priest: “God does not give us children. Why?" Only a holy man can clearly answer this question. And what will the ordinary priest say? If the priest is the spiritual mentor of a married couple, knows that the wife did not have an abortion, the husband did not live with other women before meeting his wife, both led and are leading a pious lifestyle, he probably only tells the story of Saints Joachim and Anna, the parents, as a consolation Holy Mother of God.

What is the meaning of this wonderful story? Parents prayed earnestly and asked God for a baby, the Lord sent them the Blessed Virgin.

What the priests say

Any woman who wants to give birth to a child can approach the priest with the question: “Why does God not give children?” A sermon, just advice or guidance from the holy fathers will help you figure it out. But the most important thing is the will of God.

Orphans

About health and education

True, this story does not apply to unborn children, but it clearly describes the possible reasons why God does not give children at all. He wants to protect godly Christian spouses from affliction. You can answer why God does not give a second child: for almost all the same reasons:

poor health of parents;
avoidance of misfortune and sorrows;
there is a risk of not coping with both babies;
poverty.

Not married, but I want a baby!

Why get married?

A wedding is a great sacrament, the Lord sanctifies marriage. The priest reads prayers, one of them refers to the birth of children.

Why does God not give children to some spouses? Because they did not make a vow before God to always be together, they did not pray with the priest, and the Lord did not bless the marriage.

Are you sinful?

M ir to you, dear visitors of the Orthodox island "Family and Faith!"

To how often it happens: you ask for something, as it seems to us, the most useful for us, but the request is not fulfilled. You ask, you ask, and in response - silence ... And now you feel how despondency, like a cold, thin snake, creeps into our heart, wraps around it, chokes it, and there is no longer the strength to believe and pray further, the cold fetters the soul, everything, as in fog - I don’t want to hear anything, I don’t want to see anyone. Our whole being is one big wound, pulsing, causing unbearable pain... And it seems that it will always be like this, that it will never end, that every day it will get worse and worse... Who among us is not familiar with such a state? Who among us has not experienced despondency and despair? Is there a way out? Is there any point in living on?

How to accept, how to understand the providence of God about yourself? Where can you find the strength to trust God and not lose heart? For example, how often do you feel injustice from the fact that children are born not in those families where they are so expected, but in those who do not need them at all? Why does it happen? After all, to be fruitful and multiply is the Commandment of God, so why can't everyone follow this Commandment? Let's say right away - there are no unambiguous answers to these questions. We can only speculate, but we can’t say anything concretely, because we will learn about God’s Providence only after our death, when we depart to another world.

Elder Paisios the Holy Mountaineer teaches us the following:

“Sometimes God deliberately delays and does not give any married couple children. Look: after all, He gave the Holy Fathers of God Joachim and Anna, and the Holy Prophet Zechariah and Elizabeth a child in old age in order to fulfill His eternal plan for the salvation of people.

Spouses should always be ready to accept the will of God into their lives. God does not leave a person who trusts himself to Him. We do nothing but how much God does for us! With what love and generosity He gives us everything! Is there anything that God can't do?

One married couple had five children, but when they reached adulthood, their children created their own families and fluttered out of the parental nest. Father and mother were left alone. Then they decided to give birth to another child in order to have him next to them in their old age. The wife was already at an age when conception was impossible, and their desire as a human being seemed unattainable. However, despite this, the couple had great faith in God, and they had a son who was a comfort to them in their old age. And they also put him on his feet, brought him to the people.

The birth of children depends not only on the person. It also depends on God. Seeing that spouses experiencing difficulties in connection with the birth of children have humility, God can not only give them a child, but also make them have many children. However, seeing spouses as stubborn and selfish [God does not fulfill their desires, because] by fulfilling their petition for the birth of children, He will satisfy their stubbornness and selfishness. Married couples must give themselves wholly to God. They should say: "My God, You care for our good," let there be Your share. In this case, their request will be fulfilled. After all, the will of God is fulfilled in the case when we say “Thy will be done” and with trust in God we entrust ourselves to Him. But we, although we say "Thy will be done," at the same time insist on our own will. So what can God do for us in this case?”

Here you read life stories, and how many times you notice that children are born at the very moment when there is already complete resignation to the fact that there are no children, and, probably, there will not be any more. And this is not a state of despondency, no, this is precisely humility in the face of the current situation, when a person already argues like this: “God willing, there will be more children. Everything is the will of God."

It is humility before the will of God that gives us the opportunity to experience the joy of motherhood. And humility means obedience to God, gratitude. Say, what are you thankful for? And for the fact that, by accepting the will of God for ourselves, we give God the opportunity to save us for eternal life.

The Lord does not give a child. What to do? Pray and do not despair. And if the prayer disappeared and despondency set in, this means that we are not yet ready for the birth of children. After all, giving birth and raising a child is a lot of work, and if we, faced with difficulties even before the birth of children, easily lose our prayer and become discouraged, then how can we give birth and raise children? Not! The most important thing in the safe birth and upbringing of children is unceasing prayer, trust in God, and the struggle with one's passions. And if we are already so quickly despairing and discouraged, leaving prayer and grumbling against God, then what will we do when we encounter the difficulties of bearing and giving birth to a child, with the problems of his upbringing?

Then it becomes clear why the Lord does not give us children. It is still early, our soul has not yet matured for the Lord to entrust us with an immortal soul, which we will have to return to the Lord in due time, with the words: “Here I am and my children, whom You entrusted to me.”

We must take the issue of having children seriously. And when the main argument in the birth of a child is the idea that everything should be like others, then this is a very dangerous approach to solving this issue. We are all different, and each of us has our own path to salvation. The desire to “be like everyone else” only exhausts our strength, ruffles our nerves, instills despondency in us, takes us away from prayer.

We must understand that copying someone else's life will not make us happier. If other people have children and we don't, this does not mean that we will not be saved, on the contrary, it means that we have a different path to salvation. You don't have to try to be like others. By taking on someone else's appearance, we can lose ourselves. Each person is individual, and each has his own way of salvation, and the less we try to be like others, the easier it will be for us to accept the Will of God about ourselves.

Children

About Saints Joachim and Anna

What the priests say

Orphans

About health and education

Not married, but I want a baby!

Why get married?

Are you sinful?

About Saints Joachim and Anna

What the priests say

Orphans

About health and education

Not married, but I want a baby!

Why get married?

Are you sinful?

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