Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov, rector of the Church of St. Mitrophan of Voronezh on Khutorskaya, Moscow, answers questions from viewers. Broadcast from Moscow.

- Today our guest is Archpriest Dmitry Smirnov live.

Question: “As is known from the ancient canons, for a serious sin, for example fornication, one was excommunicated from Communion for 15 years. Why for such a long time? After all, in Communion a person receives strength in the fight against sin, but here he has to live for 15 years without Communion, that is, without spiritual support.”

Here's the thing. Now we are watching the war in Syria: people are sitting in aluminum cars and high altitude bomb the enemy. And in those days the enemy stood in front of you at a distance of the length of a spear or a bow shot. To hit him, you had to use your own hands, and the hand felt how your sword or spear pierced his body, and what he experienced was reflected on his face. Since then, a lot has changed, and the Church has changed, because when these canons were established, the Church was still very young, but now it is a huge two-thousand-year-old tree.

A lot is developing in the Church, and the sinner man himself is changing, the attitude towards shrines, the sacraments, the person’s attitude towards the Church is changing, and, as they say now, we see completely different challenges of the time. When the Church spoke, it had practically no competitors: in the era of the canons, the best minds of humanity entered the Church, and they carried out a completely demonstrative mission. IN modern world The voice of the Church can only be heard if very serious efforts are made to do so. For example, one student complained to me that at their university in Moscow they teach cultural subjects that also touch on religion, and the teacher, without any hesitation, explains religion as a kind of business based on some kind of human attachments, which have been very well studied in two years. thousands of years, and that all this exists for the voluntary taking of money from the population. This is what they teach at a university in Moscow. This didn't happen in those days.

The era of the development of canons is the era when persecution ended. To be a Christian then meant every day to face death, or exile, or imprisonment. And if a person chose sin and gave preference to it rather than the Eucharist and his presence in the community, then the community, of course, confiscated him. If we now approach this criterion to modern man, then only very elderly people will remain in the Church, for whom these passions have already subsided and even forgotten as an idea, and the entire vestibule will be filled with those who are falling down and repenting. Therefore, one cannot consider any church rule in isolation from the situation in which it was stated, and one must understand its essence, that the goal of the Church is not the creation of some kind of universal code of crimes. Even the state Criminal Code has been undergoing changes over the course of several decades, depending on what tasks the state sets. The same thing happens in the Church, because the task of the Church is to attract a person and cure. And if in ancient times cutting off a diseased organ was in the order of things (warriors calmly cut off their damaged legs and arms, and there were no antiseptics; usually the soldiers died after being wounded), but now people are collecting millions to cure some boy from a disease that a hundred years ago no one would even think of treating: if such a person was born, he simply died. Therefore, everything changes, and we must approach this calmly and with understanding. If the priest approached you with condescension during confession, this does not mean that the sin has become less terrible. If you were given a suspended sentence, and not “to the fullest”, this does not mean that you are right.

Does such connivance, it turns out, corrupt a person? “Today I will sin, tomorrow I will repent, I will do penance for two weeks...”

Such a person comes to the priest and says: “Today I will sin, tomorrow I will repent, the day after tomorrow I will sin again...” Will there be a priest who will allow him to the Chalice?

- So he doesn't say that.

If he doesn’t speak, he will come tomorrow with the same thing, and the priest will say: “Well, excuse me, brother, let’s pray, fast. Were you allowed last time? It didn't help you. Let's see if this post helps you. Fast for ninety days, and let's see how you do during this time... will your love for playing cards pass? And if not, let’s add bows or a trip to some distant monastery (for example, Alexander of Svirsky), and walk the last 20 kilometers there with prayer: you walk and read the “Our Father.”

- Question: “Can evil obsessive thoughts (for example, wishing for someone to die) harm a person?”

If a person agrees with these thoughts, he is already damaged.

- No, harm the one to whom these thoughts are addressed...

- Is the bearer of these thoughts already captured?

Certainly. Anyone who is angry with his brother in vain is a murderer, that is, according to the state of his soul, he is a murderer. From the point of view of state law, he did not kill anyone, he is an ordinary citizen, he is not charged with anything, but in essence, he is insane because he wants to kill.

Question from a TV viewer: “My grandson is 4 years old, my daughter wants to teach him English at home. Will it be harmful for a child to learn English? I want him to grow up as a Christian.”

What's harmful here? Of course, you also need to study Russian, but in general it’s very good to know five or six languages. This greatly develops the mind. I don’t even know what the basis for your anxiety is, it’s already some kind of phobia.

Seraphim of Sarov was also asked such a question, but about the French language, to which he said: “It’s not bad to know something.”

Yes, it is very good for the mind.

- Question: “What does it mean to fall under your anathema?”

This means that the person has done something that excommunicates him from communion with the Church.

Or maybe this means that the person himself, willfully imposed some kind of punishment on himself? For example, a person decided without permission: “I will not take communion.”

Perhaps this is what is meant.

In general, when a person imposes such punishments on himself, considering himself unworthy, how acceptable and useful are they?

Everything is acceptable, even what is wrong, and a person accepts it. Suppose a person drinks alcohol? So this is acceptable for him. Is it good? Badly.

- But is such selfishness acceptable in choosing one’s spiritual path?

No, that’s why, especially at first, they recommend that a person have a confessor who would tell him what is possible and what is not, otherwise the person will deviate from the true church path, invent something for himself and get into trouble.

Question: “What should you do if you want to commit suicide because of your parents? Parents are brought to tears, they have no strength. My father drinks a lot, and my mother is always so cold towards me. The stumbling block was my studies: I can’t cope, and my parents strongly reproach me for this.”

It depends on how old the child is. It all depends on age. I recently spoke with two such girls, they both attempted suicide. I tried to convince them that committing suicide is the greatest stupidity a person can do while living on earth, because a person will die with the problems that he has and will remain with them for eternity. And while he is alive, there is hope that something will change on its own, evolutionarily, or he himself will be able to change it.

- But there is such an unbearable situation in the family: constant pressure from parents...

We need to figure out what is called “pressure”. Perhaps the child has already developed a computer addiction. Recently, one woman complained to me that her computer was broken, on which she watches our programs. She began to experience withdrawal symptoms, that is, what a smoker who is not given cigarettes experiences, or an alcoholic who needs a hangover - she developed depression. Therefore, perhaps, in this case, the boy needs a dose, and the parents say: “Stop playing, sit down to your homework,” and because of this he becomes depressed, even to the point of suicide. Could this be so?

- Easily.

Maybe. And now we will advise him: “Run from home.” That is, this issue is not complete. And then you must definitely ask any child what and how. One boy runs up to me and says: “Father, he beat me.” I say: “Call him.” He comes up, I ask: “Misha, why did you beat Sasha?” “Because when I was running, he tripped my leg and I fell.” I say: “Sasha, why did you trip your leg?” He is silent, but wants me to reprimand the one who beat him, although he himself is to blame from beginning to end and understands everything perfectly well. All children do this. Maybe the author of this question is also like this - we don’t know, we need to figure it out.

Question from a TV viewer: “One Orthodox priest from Moscow told me that we would soon have a war, and advised me to buy a house somewhere in the village. I don't know how to feel about this. Tell me."

The priest said: “Buy yourself a house”... It wouldn’t be bad, if this priest also gave money for a house, then we can buy it. But I don’t remember such a case in our recent history when a house in a village saved someone from war, it’s somehow very strange.

- Especially from modern war.

- Question: “Who are heretics by definition? Orthodox Church? How to identify them?

But we don’t need to define, for this we have the hierarchy. If it declares at the Council of Bishops that this or that movement is heretical (like the movement of the Roerichs), then we will find out about it. If a person professes Roerichianism, then we should not have any communication with him.

- So this comes from the hierarchy?

Yes, because councils of bishops declare the attitude of the Church to certain phenomena, and so any person can speak any heresy, and this betrays his lack of competence or illiteracy. There is nothing strange in this difference of opinion. And when some phobia arises (for example, a person is afraid of the English language), this is also a heresy, but this does not mean that we declare a person who is afraid of the English language a heretic. A heretic is one who professes and spreads this opinion by all available means when it captures a certain number of people. For example, I say especially for our TV viewers, if anyone hears the words of the Rodnovers: all people who profess this teaching are heretics, and their books and teaching are called heretical because they have teachers, they try to spread the teaching, and although it is not yet widely, but already quite common.

Question from a TV viewer: “Theologian A.I. very often speaks on the Soyuz TV channel. Osipov, who says that everyone will be saved. This point of view completely contradicts Scripture and all the holy fathers, and even more so the very respected and great teachers of our Church, who clearly answered this question differently than Osipov. I want to know your opinion on this matter."

My opinion is that Alexey Ilyich, if you listened carefully, speaks on the basis of the Holy Fathers. Some holy fathers (in particular Gregory of Nyssa) also adhered to this opinion, which in theology was called apokatastasis. Alexey Ilyich adheres to this theological opinion. So what? Are you eager to drag him, a 75-year-old man, to the stake? He did not create any teaching, he simply tries to make people think and read the Holy Fathers with his lectures.

- TV viewer: “But the fact is that this teaching is not accepted by the Church.”

Yes, it is absolutely true that this teaching was not entirely accepted, but Gregory of Nyssa and other fathers who professed this were not excommunicated by the Church, but were canonized. This is still the opinion of the holy fathers, which remained as a private theological opinion - theologumen. And this theologum is adhered to by A.I. Osipov. What's next? Nothing. Someone will write the history of the Russian Church of the 20th century and say: “The famous professor, doctor of theology Alexei Ilyich Osipov adhered to an opinion that is recorded in the history of the Church as apokatastasis. Born in such and such a year, taught at such and such an academy, was engaged in missionary work, died in such and such a year.” All. I don’t understand why banging your head against the wall? What are we talking about here? Well, he thinks so - he has the right to think so. He’s a professor, he’s read it all, he’s been teaching for a long time. AND His Holiness Patriarch, and the overwhelming majority of our bishops know about this, and they are no more stupid than you and me. If necessary, they will show him. Alexei Ilyich has opinions that are directly opposite to those of other professors. I once found myself in such a situation. It was in the Church of the Intercession Holy Mother of God on the patronal feast day, at the all-night vigil: Professor K.E. Skurat sat to my right, and Professor A.I. Osipov sat to my left, they began to argue among themselves, and called me to be an arbitrator. I say: “My dear, my beloved teachers, I am not a theologian at all, I can neither judge you nor take any side, but I would like your conversation to be peaceful, because such is your youthful, perky theology It scares me a little." But the memory of this conversation stuck with me for a long time, and when they begin to scold one of our theologians in front of me, I immediately remember the fable of my beloved ancestor Ivan Andreevich Krylov about the elephant and the pug.

Question from a TV viewer: “I wanted to know if our government is an object of prayer for the health of our Orthodox Church, given their “zeal” (in quotes) for our well-being?”

Even the worst government needs this first. You wouldn’t ask about this if you had read the Holy Scriptures at least once, if you had attended a service of the Russian Orthodox Church at least once. Therefore, I advise you to read it once New Testament and go to church, then the question of how the Church prays for the authorities and the army of Mother Russia would disappear: You would hear it yourself. And when you read the New Testament, you will see how the Apostle Paul calls for prayer for the authorities, and he prayed for the pagan authorities who persecuted Christians. If the Church had not prayed for them in those times of persecution, then it is unknown whether it would have survived or not, because this is a commandment, therefore the Church is obliged to pray for the authorities. There is no power that is not from God. And godless power is allowed by God. As for the current government in the person of Vladimir Vladimirovich and Dmitry Anatolyevich, I am definitely ready to swear allegiance for these two people - I myself personally observed how they prayed, venerated icons, etc. I participated in joint church events with them and am ready to testify that they are baptized correctly and venerate icons as Orthodox Christians.

But during the years of Bolshevik power, many priests refused to pray for this new government, considering her completely the Antichrist.

I also believe that this power is completely antichrist, especially since it itself declared this, but not to pray for this power is a violation of the commandment of the Apostle Paul. One very old priest, who had already passed into another world (he lived for more than 90 years and suffered repression), told how one priest prayed then: “For our God-protected country... cough-cough (feigned cough)... Let us pray to the Lord” so that talk “about the authorities and the military,” and so they avoided the difficult issue with humor and a kind smile. This priest even had a special prayer pasted into the Service Book: “Instill in them the good things of Your Holy Church.” That is, they asked God for the Lord to influence their minds. And indeed, by 1943 the persecution had ceased to be widespread.

And the fact that our entire government (I mean the ruling class) treats the people badly, is not Christian, is understandable, because not all of us are Christians. Dmitry Anatolyevich is now restoring New Jerusalem Monastery, and Putin helped various monasteries without counting, but two people cannot solve all the problems, because even the money that is given to people in regional budgets to renovate their housing is stolen and false reports are sent to the government. Alexander Ivanovich Bastrykin says that up to 60% of the budget is stolen, and if you take 60% of the entire administrative apparatus and put it in prison, there will be four million people instead of the current four hundred thousand. How many guards do you need then? We are reducing the army, we are reducing the Ministry of Emergency Situations and we are sending everyone to guards - and our most important power structure will be a prison. So what are we going to do next? They say: “We must plant.” But there are so many of those who need to be imprisoned that they will eat up the whole country from inside the prison. The quality of people is such that no Putin can cope with this. That's the problem.

Therefore, in general, the ruling class treats the people poorly - we really see this. I drive up to the temple and see the street where asphalt was laid a month ago - now it is being opened with jackhammers. Whose money is being turned away? Mine: I pay tax. Although I am separate from the state, why should I pay? But I’m crying, moreover, I can’t even refuse, even though I don’t need a pension, I won’t pay anything, I’ll live on my own - it’s impossible. Everything is designed so that you can pay through “I don’t want” or through “I can’t”. And good asphalt is torn out in order to install another - curb - stone. They placed a new stone - the roller touched it, and defects already appeared on several stones, that is, it was good, they made it in a new way and immediately disfigured it. It became worse than it was, and I paid for it. What am I supposed to do?

- Pray for power.

Yes, pray for honesty, nobility, love for people, thrift with money, and so on. And who will do all this? After all, only the Church teaches what is good and what is bad. Prayer is our function.

“And the most important thing is that there is no other way to influence this situation.”

We watch the President every day Russian Federation in different situations. It is clear that he is not a stupid person. But everyone starts criticizing. Place someone or give him a kiosk so that he becomes a millionaire: “Here, create a business where you will be alone, without forming a legal entity.” They can’t figure things out in their family, they can’t raise their children, and they begin to criticize the presidents. This is funny.

- Question from a TV viewer: “Who is a confessor, and how should a lay person relate to him?”

The confessor is the person to whom the layman confesses. In our Russian practice, this confessor is usually a holder of holy orders, namely a presbyter, or in rare cases a bishop. How should we treat him? Treat yourself as someone who knows a little more than a layman, and use his advice to strengthen your piety.

Question: “What should you do when they curse other people in front of you? What I hear makes me feel bad, somehow uneasy.”

So you need to leave this room and do some other things. Why participate in this?

- This is if possible.

Escape from? There's always a possibility. It is not always possible to immediately change an apartment, move to the suburbs or to another city, this takes some time, but leaving the room is always possible. When a person needs to go to the toilet, he immediately finds such an opportunity, but here things are more important.

If you know that this conversation will take five minutes, then you can leave for this time, but what if it happens continuously?

Leave anyway. Go to work, and after work go to the theater or library to read something...

- ... and longer.

Visit friends, sick people, take the dog for a walk, etc. Lots of wonderful things to do.

Question from a TV viewer: “Is it possible to pray for the health of an unbaptized person and for the Lord to bring him to Church?”

On what basis did you conclude that this cannot be done? Can.

Question: “Recently, I have become a target for attacks by representatives of the Scientology sect. Explain the position of the Russian Orthodox Church in relation to this sect, and what is being done in our Fatherland in order to eliminate such sects?”

Nothing is being done to eliminate such sects, but in certain regions of our country the position of fighters against these sects is such that it is possible to achieve their deregistration, that is, the destruction of this community as a legal entity. This happens in isolated cases regarding Scientologists and Jehovah's Witnesses. But in general - no. At Soviet power this issue was resolved quickly and clearly.

- Everyone is banned.

Jehovah's Witnesses often ended up in prison. The same thing happened with the Hare Krishnas; the KGB was seriously involved in them. And now they calmly look at what they are doing to our people. In Europe, only France banned Scientologists, and in America all kinds of nasty things flourish, they even recruit Satanists into the army, so the USA is now a nursery for growing all kinds of nasty things that exist on the planet.

- Question from a TV viewer: “Does every person have a piece of God and why?”

There is no particle of God in any person. This is heresy. God is the Creator, and man is the creation. When a potter makes a jug from clay, there is nothing human in this pot, there are only traces of the fact that this clay was touched by a human hand, so looking at the jug, we understand that this is not a product of nature, it is the work of the creator. That’s why we call those who don’t believe in God crazy, because looking at the “pansy” you can’t believe that this flower created itself. Or take some African shell or fish from the Red Sea - they say that as a result of evolution it became so beautiful... How did blind and brainless nature itself create this? Only the Creator could create a beautiful creation. Therefore, there are traces of the Creator when we meet a truly holy person: in him we clearly see the traces of the Creator’s work on the soul of this person. These people are like living angels. I've seen these too. This is the kind of person from whom you don’t even want to leave, you forget about food and drink, you just want to look at him and listen to him, and you “drink” every word as if from a cool mountain spring on a hot day. But this is in no way confused: God's nature is not human nature. There is no particle. We are influenced exclusively by the grace of the Lord, which comes from Him, but it does not become part of us, it visits us, deifies us, but we do not mix with it: we remain sinful people, and the grace of God remains the energy of the Divine.

- What about the image and likeness that is inherent in a person at creation?

Yes, man is an icon of the Divine, but it is not God Himself.

- The Lord imprinted Himself in man...

- ...breathing the breath of life into him. Conventionally, the Lord Himself says to a person: “You are gods,” but in modern Russian this word “gods” is written with a small letter, and God is a proper name.

Question: “When I see that others are being offended, I stand up, but at the same time I get angry. Would this be considered righteous anger? And how to distinguish righteous anger from unrighteous?

It’s better not to do this; it’s safer for your soul to consider any anger unrighteous. Only God has righteous anger...

- ... because God is sinless, and man is sinful.

Yes, that’s why everything in a person is half sin.

- But there is more sin.

Question: “Tell me, at what age can one become a godmother? I became godmother to my nephew when I was 9 years old. Of course, unconsciously. Is this canonically correct and valid?”

No, according to church rules - from the age of 14. It is not for nothing that even a passport is issued at the age of 14. At 9 years old, of course, it is wrong to be a godmother. And as for the fact that you didn’t understand anything, most of our adult godparents don’t understand anything either, and most of them will never understand. Not because they are stupid, but because these questions do not interest them.

- That is, a person follows a certain rule?

Tradition. He wants to be involved in it, but he doesn’t know what’s behind it and he’s not interested in knowing.

- It would seem that it is inherent in a person to be interested in God, but a person is not interested in God.

What is the main slogan in high school?

- Don't know.

Forgot? “Hurray, we’re not studying!”

- Probably, and not only in high school.

No. I studied at three universities, and since the seminary now provides higher education, we can say that at four, but I was amazed by the abundance of people who want to learn something. But the school’s slogan is “hurray, we’re not studying!” even infects excellent students. So yay - let's learn!

Presenter: Archpriest Alexander Berezovsky
Transcript: Elena Kuzoro

Archpriest Andrei Tkachev, cleric of the Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow, answers questions from viewers. state university. Broadcast from Moscow. Broadcast July 12.

Hello, the program “Conversations with Father” is on air on the Soyuz TV channel. In the studio - Sergey Yurgin.

Today our guest is the priest of the Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University, Archpriest Andrei Tkachev.

Hello, father. Bless our viewers.

Hello. May God's mercy be with every human soul.

The topic of our program today is “Confession and Communion.” In our last program, we already started talking about the Sacrament of Confession, but there were still questions.

For those who did not watch our last program, I would like you to repeat what the Sacrament of Confession is.

In this sacrament there is an unconditional action of the healing grace of God. I would say that this sacrament is multifunctional. For a serious sinner or a person who has been baptized but has lived for a long time outside of communion in the Church, this is a way to return to the Church and unite his living union with her. For a person who has not left the Church, but is fighting sin and feels the scars and dust of the struggle, this is a way to maintain spiritual hygiene. This is a constant spiritual stimulus and shake-up and a way to keep oneself in good shape, when a person does not seem to bring anything terrible to confession, but brings everyday traces of the struggle with sin, which is not going to go anywhere.

The Sacrament of Confession is superimposed on the monastic practice of revealing thoughts, when a person reveals not so much his affairs as his secret inner world with all the intricacy of desires, thoughts, mental struggles and everything else. This often occurs in our lives: both among laity and among monks.

Confession is a healing sacrament human soul. Depending on the degree of illness of the soul, it has different functions and effects on our internal ulcers.

Do you need to go to confession to one priest or is it allowed to go to different ones?

From my point of view personal experience, reading books and communicating with other people, it seems to me that it is good to have a confessor, but not everyone has one. If you don’t have a confessor, then it’s good to have a priest who has known you for a long time, to whom you don’t have to tell your whole life all over again. When you come to confession for the first time, the priest may ask how long have you been going to church, what is your Family status where you work, that is, it is important for him to know the person at least a little. It’s good to have someone who won’t tell you who you are every time, and constantly carry your sores to him. It is good for him to confess the sins that most often trouble you and constitute your painful secret. If nothing terrible is happening in your life, but everyday things are happening that do not hurt you too much, then you can safely go to any priest in any Orthodox church, finding yourself on a trip, on vacation, visiting a temple that is closer to home.

I think that the practice is this: if nothing special has happened, you can go to any priest. If you want to take communion, then you go to the priest, say that I have such and such and I would like to take communion. If there is something serious, you need to go to someone who knows you, if you have such a confessor. If not, then you have to be content with different priests, but this is fraught with different problems. One will be more strict, the other more soft. One will increase the demands, the other will take it easier. People are different, one wants severity, the other is afraid of it. Here we are dealing with a variety of collisions between man and man, so here we need to stock up on a certain amount of patience and understanding. If you get burned somewhere by one confession, then don’t be sad, don’t be sad.

Maybe, of course. Parish priest - high rank, and he can be a confessor, he can, as they say, carry human souls in his hands. Even if he does not grow up to be an old man, he is still great person, because he brings a bloodless sacrifice to God, performs other sacraments, remembers people living and dead at the service, delves into their destinies and needs through confession and conversations with people, and preaches the Gospel. That is, the most “ugly” priest is still a great figure on the invisible spiritual field. Therefore, of course, parish clergy are called to be spiritual clergy.

For example, it is such an important fact that our parish clergy, according to tradition, are mostly married. This is the greatest advantage that distinguishes us, for example, from Catholics. What problems do people come to confession with? Take away family problems from a person and he will have nothing to come to confession with. Mother-in-law and son-in-law, mother and children, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, crowded housing with several generations in one apartment, money problems, second wife, second husband, cheating, drunkenness, beating, I’m old - my husband looks at the young. With all this, people come to confession. Remove this - and you will remove 98% of the need to confess or consult with a priest. Of course, this is well known to those who themselves live family life.

Of course, it’s good to come to confession to a “grandfather” - a man who has a gray beard, grown-up children, many grandchildren, he has seen it all in his life. Nothing can terrify him, he already knows everything, you are his grandson or son, daughter or granddaughter by age, so a person internally gravitates towards such a family nature of confession. When they understand you, lift you from your knees, and help you unravel your everyday knot - this is the white clergy.

When a monastic confesses, they, of course, can lead you higher, those who gravitate towards asceticism, for example, to unceasing prayer, reading spiritual literature. But on common man a monastic confessor, if he does not have a sense of tact and proportion, may impose a certain burden that he will not bear. Here you need to have pedagogical sensitivity. Therefore, who else, if not the white clergy, should be confessors.

The fact that people go to confession en masse in monasteries is a challenge for the white clergy.

Brothers, why do you treat people so badly that they run away from you to monasteries for confession?

Maybe many people want to be stricter?

Maybe so, then - please. The white priest himself will say that he is not a monastic person, and in considerable fasting and night prayers he is a weak assistant. It will be good and fair.

But there may also be a bias in the other direction. There is a moment in the life of the Optina elder Leo when he stood in a crowd of women who came on a pilgrimage - simple peasant women in bast shoes, simple clothes, with tear-stained faces - and he told them about spiritual and everyday things. At repentance in the monastery there was some mitred priest who said to him:

You want, father, to stand with these women for an hour and talk about something.

To which Elder Leo said to him:

And that's true. If you had dealt with them at the parish, I wouldn’t have them here.

The business of a monk is, indeed, his cell and prayer. But he was forced to work with them because the white clergy does not fully care for their spiritual children.

Clergy is, in principle, the work of the white clergy. If the priest is very young, has just gotten married, and does not yet know how to live in his family, of course, it is difficult here with clergy, he is gaining difficult spiritual experience. But a person who has already lived his life, who has acquired some skill both in worship and in communicating with people, can already grow into a mediocre confessor.

That is, confessors are needed everywhere; one “All-Russian elder” is not needed so that people come to him from Kamchatka, Sakhalin, the Baltic states and the Caucasus. This, of course, is also necessary, but it is much better if each province and region had its own “burn and shine” lamp, to which their own people came. Further - more and more. So that there are many of them, of different sizes, just as star differs from star in glory. Small, big stars, constellations - all this is needed.

Simple parish priest- this is a completely normal confessor. Not everyone is equal to the other, they are all different. Maybe a priest with a higher education - students, maybe intellectuals, will be drawn to him. Maybe a priest from high military service, who, for example, rose to the rank of colonel, and then radically changed his life. There are a lot of them. People of a different category are drawn to them, sensing the military masculine vein in him. They are all different - and this is very good, and this is what clergy is. People will look for a confessor for themselves, by spirit, by scent, by intuition. One priest serves for a long time, reads everything, and someone likes it. And some serve quickly, but stay after the service and talk with people. One found himself here, the other - there, and everyone is fine.

There is a practice when a person comes to confession to one priest, asks him for spiritual advice, then goes to another and asks for advice on the same issue, and adds everything up, sums it up, divides it all, finding the most beneficial answer for himself and the most convenient blessing. Is it worth doing this?

The arithmetic average of the advice of different priests is a very bad practice. If the advice is different, then confusion will begin, you will have to act cunningly and choose what you like best. We must put far away from ourselves the desire to gain advice from the most different people, especially those who don’t know you.

Advice should be taken from those who know you and are in the “mode” of “selfless compassion” towards you. For example, if a rich man helps the family of some priest just to survive, if he takes advice, there is a serious fear that the priest will be afraid to be categorical with him. This is a purely human moment, and there is nothing surprising here. If some doctor pulled me out of the other world for an operation, then even if I scold him in confession, then very gently, I will be grateful to him all my life and cover him with love - this is a psychologically very understandable thing. Therefore, you must honestly know from whom you are asking for advice: from someone who loves and indulges you, or from someone who knows you well and can tell you the truth. There needs to be some element of honesty here. If it doesn't exist, everything else will be some kind of mistake. If we add many vectors together, they will all collapse into one point and will not lead anywhere further. Therefore, there is no need to do this.

We must resolve our everyday issues on the basis of conscience, that is, we must go to the confessor not in the state of “I don’t know what to do,” but after doing preliminary work. If you have serious questions, consult husband and wife, wife and husband, children, elders, friends who love you. Listen to voices from the outside, ask your conscience. Pray firmly to God, go to God’s temple for a day or two, try to pray to God carefully, read the Gospel, maybe the Word of God will reveal something to you. That is, come to the priest already prepared, for example, ready to do what you don’t like, what you don’t want to do. For example, you don’t want to leave, but you have to, or you don’t want to stay, but you have to, and so on.

Pray for the priest, so that God will reveal His holy will to him. It is very important, when going to a priest, to pray to God for the priest, saying:

Lord, I am coming to You, and You bless Your servant Father Michael (or Matthew), so that through him I may hear from You, and give me the courage to accept it as from You.

We need such serious things. And when I asked here and there, it just turns out to be some kind of irritation.

Probably, you also need to ask for blessings for some prayer feats.

We are blessed with prayer from the moment of our baptism. Why are there any special blessings, which, for example, are asked for reading the Psalter? To receive communion, to pray, to fulfill the commandments, to fight sin, to read the Holy Scriptures, within which is the Psalter - we are blessed for all this from the beginning, by the fact of Christianity.

Special, requiring a blessing when, for example, they want to enter the seminary. When a girl says that she does not want to get married, but wants to maintain her virginity for the sake of Christ, this is very serious, and it is impossible without a blessing.

Question from a TV viewer from Yekaterinburg: How to prepare for Communion on a meat-free day for three days in a row or only Wednesday and Friday, is it possible to eat fish if you receive Communion in a week?

Second question: How to prepare a child for Communion?

This issue is resolved at a meeting of priests, and in pastoral practice it is accepted for discussion. The modern approach to this issue, as far as I know, is the following: if a person fasts on Wednesday and Friday all year and observes the multi-day fasts of Nativity, Great, Petrovsky, and Assumption, then the three days of fasting immediately before Communion lose their relevance for him. Three days of need for those who rarely receive communion 1-3 times a year, no more, or are lame in church discipline.

If a person carries on himself everything that the Church has blessed, then if you want to take communion on Sunday, and at the same time always fast on Wednesday and Friday, then on Saturday you can without meat, but with fish, and on Sunday nothing prevents you from taking communion . Although, of course, all this needs to be blessed by the priest who gives you communion.

I think there is no need to frown too much here and multiply disciplinary requirements. I think any shepherd, looking at this practice of a Christian, will say that he, of course, can approach the Chalice with the fear of God and faith.

As for the child, it seems to me that the most important issue for children is their desire to be in the temple and the joy of being in the temple. If a child wants to go to church, and he goes there with joy, then, I think, this is the most important preparation for Communion. Of course, sin can already manifest itself in them: they can be mischievous, lazy, disingenuous, and this must be monitored, and you can gently prompt them:

You know, son or daughter, it seems to me that you need to tell me about this in confession, yesterday you deceived me, said that you ate it, but you threw the lunch in the trash, this is already serious.

There is no need to tell children in confession that they do not listen to mom and dad. Because mom and dad are very selfish about their children’s confession, just like grandparents. We sometimes load confession with the function of enslaving children with our authority, turning the priest into our companion in turning a son or grandson into a novice. This is very harmful.

Today is information time, it is very important that the child does not stick to the TV from morning to evening and does not immerse himself in gadgets so that he can no longer get away from them. This is also an obvious sin, this is already captivity.

It is very important to maintain speech purity: so that a person does not get used to saying stupid, dirty, nasty, rotten words. So that he doesn’t take someone else’s, he doesn’t envy. Seven-year-olds already have enough of these possible sins. You should try to talk to them about this and ask the priest:

Father, my seven-year-old daughter Dashenka will come to you, she’s mischievous, she’ll be stubborn, throw a tantrum, and you can’t do anything. Talk to her, please.

Or, for example, a girl is a fashionista and demands new clothes every day. We need to understand what the real problems are. It’s not something that simply “doesn’t obey” - that’s too banal and self-serving, but when there is a real spiritual problem that the priest should talk about with the child. Here confession turns into a confidential conversation between the elder and the younger.

It is important that we do not drive the child away from church, so that the child feels good in church; this is the most important way to prepare for Communion.

Do you want to take communion?

Do you like church?

Like.

Will you take communion today?

Well, with God.

Do you think it is necessary to mindlessly carry out what the priest prescribed in confession?

Such cases can happen if a person has fallen under the weight of some strange word and does not know how to deal with it. For example, penance lasting many, many years or something else. We need to deal with this issue. The complexity of the situation is that another priest does not have the right to remove from a person what another has imposed. We need to understand everything to understand what is behind it. And if this is a fact of excessive severity or asceticism, when, for example, a person is excommunicated from Communion for ten years, then the person must figure it out, go to this priest himself without intermediaries and say that it’s hard, you can’t stand it, with a request to ease it.

But it also happens the other way around, when pilgrims come and ask for a blessing “for something.” If I bless you for such a thing, then you will run after me and ask me to “bless you.” People can also provoke the priest to do something extraordinary when they ask him some strange questions. That’s why it’s important to come to the priest with a ripe question, having done your “homework”: think about what you want, carry your problem within yourself, formulate it well, and it will be much easier for you to listen to the answer to it. Not everything here lies with the priest, but much is born of some kind of immaturity of the person himself.

What kind of questions should you approach a priest with?

With questions worthy of the priesthood. You know, as some saints said, don’t ask the king for dung. Came to God, ask for what is worthy of God. I came to the priest, asking for something worthy of the priesthood: spiritual advice, prayer, an attempt to understand some complexity, everyday and spiritual at the same time. Ask related. Came to the priest, talk about what concerns your spiritual life.

When a person comes to a priest, but he has no spiritual questions, but has everyday, material, psychological problems - this is very difficult for the priest. There are such cases, I think priests will confirm this: when a person comes who does not know why he came, and you need to pull out some deep layer from him in order to understand what he does not know about himself - this is already some kind of senile level . You have to be more than just a priest when, when talking with a person, you are trying to pull him out on a problem that he does not yet know about himself. It happens, but it is very debilitating.

It happens that a person comes to confession with us and says that he took out a mortgage, but now he doesn’t know how to pay off, and asks the priest for advice.

Such cases do happen. It happens even more, when a person begins to literally blackmail, saying: should I now take an ax and go to the bank, or should I hang myself now. And this is the first time you see this person. Then you need to stay after the service and talk to this person. In fact, you will not help him return the mortgage, but the problem discussed is reduced by half, this was noticed a long time ago.

A misfortune that is expressed and listened to tends to diminish. When a person told a misfortune to a listener, he, perhaps, heard himself for the first time. Talking about yourself is the only way to understand yourself. Why is it important to journal or write letters or have conversations with someone wise and thoughtful. Otherwise you won't understand yourself. I understand myself as I begin to tell someone about myself, and someone listens attentively to me, asking leading questions.

Therefore, the unfortunate mortgage “taker” will begin to tell you his whole life. Each person has his own backstory, he is tormented by a mortgage, but it was born of something else. It turns out that he got divorced, and got divorced because he fell into fornication, and his wife could no longer tolerate him. And he will begin to unroll his ball until early childhood, and suddenly he will understand where it all began and say: “Thank you, father, I’m off.” The mortgage will somehow be resolved, and the person, perhaps for the first time, will touch upon his true problem as he talks about himself. This is very important, and here the priest serves as a psychologist. What a psychologist is paid a lot of money for, here the priest pays with his time and nerves, and thank you, Lord, that this is so. This is precisely an important spiritual function. After all, what are psychological sessions? This is confession without absolution. Why do people go to psychologists? Because they want to confess, without even hoping that their sins will be forgiven. The priest combines both, he must try to listen and pull out some deeper layers of hidden problems from the person, this helps a lot. If this is also crowned with the words “And I, unworthy priest, forgive and let go...”, then this is simply wonderful.

Question from a TV viewer: When you start trying to fulfill the commandments and live in the bosom of the Church, you feel how difficult it is. Even the Mosaic commandments cannot be fulfilled. I would like to hear advice and consolation from you, like, remember, in the finale of the film “Island”, when Father Anatoly to the young priest to the question “How should we live?” answers: “And live as we live.”

I'll try. First of all, I want to say that what constitutes your inner cross is well known to me. When you try and nothing works. And you try a hundred times, and a hundred times it doesn’t work. And you don’t despair of starting for the 101st time, and the 101st time it still doesn’t work out. It's clear.

To console myself and you, I will say that the work of fulfilling the commandments is the most necessary opportunity and a way to discover human frailty. What does a person learn by fulfilling the commandments? Infirmities. This is such an interesting patristic voice: as you fulfill the commandments, you reveal your imperfection. A person will be saved not for exploits or labors, but for faith and humility. He learns humility as he becomes aware of his weakness, which, in turn, is revealed by trying to fulfill the commandments.

What's your rule? - they asked a man who had lived in serious labor for many years.

“What is my rule,” he answered. - I had different rules: both big and small. When I followed the rule, I was proud. When I didn't follow the rule, I became depressed. My rule today is “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”

Of all the prayers I know,

I sing in my soul or read out loud,

Breathes such wondrous power

Prayer "Lord, have mercy!"

I'm close to the final edge,

And yet with burning tears,

Although with withered body strength,

I repeat, “Lord, have mercy!”

The soul, having ended earthly life,

This prayer, not another,

Firmly and there you are behind the grave

With hope "Lord, have mercy!"

God does not want man to perish; He perfectly understands, knows and bears our imperfections. The contemplation of Christ crucified and the joy of the risen Christ sufficiently console the tormented soul. We will be saved not by works, but by grace. This greatly comforts a person - Lord, have mercy.

Question from a TV viewer from Moscow: Spiritual father- who he is, and how to properly approach a priest with a request for clergy. I live in Moscow and have been going to my priest in the Moscow region for seven years now, I consider him my spiritual father, but I don’t voice this. Is it correct?

I think that there is no need to voice and formalize everything. What you are already doing can put you in a spiritual father-spiritual daughter relationship without formalizing the process. What we have is enough. You are a happy person, you have a mentor who will accept your confession, give you communion, advise you, and pray. We grab what you have in abundance; many people are deprived of it.

Spiritual fatherhood is more important than physical fatherhood. Physical fatherhood has become rare, meaning we live in a time of serious fatherlessness. Not every child lives in a family where a man is his biological father. The father may simply not exist, he has disappeared, the father may be social, that is, he does not have the same personality, there may be a lot of other situations. A lot of children grow up without a father.

And so I ask myself and you: if normal fatherhood has become rare, or at least not found at every turn, although every child should have both a father and a mother. If such simple things have become rare, then where can we find spiritual fathers for all our spiritual children? After all, spiritual fatherhood is much stronger and more serious than physical fatherhood. Therefore, spiritual fatherlessness is also present. Everyone wants to have a spiritual father, but where can they get them?

What should a spiritual father be like in your understanding?

As I already said, such a “grandfather”. Not in the sense that he will forgive everything, sit you on your knees and blow a whistle: “there will be a pipe for you, there will be a whistle.” No.

His experience must exceed the experience of the spiritual child by the colossal difference that exists between the real parent and the child. What is a parent - a person who is two to three times larger than the child born from him. A spiritual father must be such a large-scale personality, that is, he must live much longer than you, and his inner experience, both spiritual and human, everyday, must be a source of nutrition for those who do not have this experience.

He must be compassionate, again from experience. Must be a repentant person, without guruistic inclinations, without faith in his own infallibility. It is best to repent of sins in the presence of someone who himself repents of his sins. Because if a person is confident in his infallibility, it is very scary to repent before him, he will crush you with the cold of his false holiness. If I am a sinner and he is a saint, it’s terrible. And if he says: I am the same sinner, don’t be afraid, there is only one sinless person - Christ. You can cry on the knees of such a person. Hearing the sins of other people, he must recognize himself in these sins, not because he has to do all this, but because he recognizes human pain.

After all, in fact, we hear nothing new, we hear modifications, variations of the same passions, and nothing new, therefore the requirements for a confessor are very high. Of course, he must be well read in Holy Scripture, in patristic literature, spiritually experienced, indulgent, in necessary cases strict, but severity should be diluted with leniency in a ratio of probably 5 to 95. That is, most cases require leniency, some rare cases require severity, different modes need to be included.

Question from a TV viewer from Cheboksary: ​​How can I pray if I cannot forgive some people with all my heart? How can I say the words “and forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors,” if I have not forgiven with all my heart? The same with the prayer “Lord, have mercy.” Can I ask for mercy on me if I cannot have mercy on my neighbor in the same way?

Well, you have touched real pain, a real ulcer. Where you are stuck with words that you cannot pronounce, you should not pronounce them until you actually say them, from your heart and truly.

You have reached a sacred barrier. Wonderful. If you overcome this barrier, you will immediately rise to a very large step upward, which is what I wish for you.

Just now divide the problem into two parts. You may have personal enemies, for example, people who took out a loan and do not pay it back for a long time, or people who cut off a piece of your garden. These are your personal enemies, and perhaps you cannot forgive them.

But often people say these words “I can’t forgive them” to people whom they don’t know personally, don’t have personal contact with, but screw themselves up, for example: I won’t forgive Chubais for ruining half the country in such and such years and for rolling blackouts in the 90s. I won’t forgive Obama for bombing and something else. If these problems bother you, feel free to throw them in the trash, because the Lord’s Prayer tells us about those people who are specifically intertwined with you by life circumstances, and you have a specific grievance against a specific person. For example, someone was rude to you in transport, and you hold the grudge for two days and cannot pray. And don't pray until you forgive. And when you overcome it, you will become stronger, and a new stage of life will begin for you - spiritual freedom will begin.

To forgive, to overcome some difficult internal problem of relationships with relatives, with a boss at work, with a person who has offended or deceived you is a great feat, this is a victory. If you have such cases, continue to fight.

The person insulted you with terrible words and scolded you. But if you put this insult on one side of the scale, and on the other - all your sins, everything, everything that you know or don’t know, and say: I will forgive him for this, and I will be forgiven for all THIS. This is a very unequal exchange - think about it. EVERYTHING will be forgiven to you, and you will forgive, even if offensive, nonsense. Everything will be forgiven to you - you will receive great freedom, and then you will say to God with boldness:

Lord, for a long time I could not say these words to You, but now I can, and now forgive me my debts as I forgave my debtor. I forgave him for this, I forgot, and You, Lord, forgive me ALL my sins.

This will be a great change, you will exchange a bag of garbage for a carload of gold - this will be the exchange. For now you are stuck with a problem, but solve it, and by solving it, you will become terribly rich.

This is the solution life problems The Lord's Prayer offers us.

Question from a TV viewer from the Moscow region: Is there any point in confessing a sin if I know it will happen again? After all, this probably turns out to be deceit?

It makes sense to confess a sin, even if you suspect it will happen again. There are sins that are inevitable to be repeated. For example, a person says that he is distracted in prayer or that he has no love, often no patience. I am absolutely sure that when you come back in a week, you will repeat the same thing. It would be strange if you said: “Last time I said that I don’t have love, but now I do. And now I don’t get distracted in prayer.” Such things can always be repeated, or they can not be repeated, but implied. This is where the dust comes from? Nobody knows, but wet cleaning will have to be done, because the dust comes by itself.

If we are talking about serious sins, if, God forbid, you are cheating on your wife, and you are so involved with this sin that you know that you will not get rid of it in the near future, and come cry for yourself. But walk away from confession and know that you are again not free, that you are again under the threat of getting into the same puddle. In this case, you cannot receive communion, but you still need to confess. Confess once - and, unfortunately, you will return to the previous state. Second, third time. In the end, your conscience will torture you, and either you will kill your conscience and become an animal, or your conscience will kill your sin and force you to become a human. You will fight your conscience in mortal combat, until you are hoarse and bloody, until one of you wins. Either you will become an animal, or you will become a man, and your conscience will defeat you.

Therefore, you still need to talk about your sins in confession, especially if these are serious things that require an indispensable struggle with yourself. Like hygiene things, when, for example, you brush your teeth, you are sure that you will brush them again. You wash your things, but you are sure that you will have to do this more than once - this is normal.

In this sense, the discipline of confession is a hygienic discipline, it requires repetition, keeps you on your toes, and prevents you from getting lice. If you don't clean your room, don't shave or wash, you'll get lice. In this sense, these repetitions are the hygienic function of confession. Repeat, no worries.

Question from a TV viewer from St. Petersburg: Father Anatoly Optinsky has the words: “beware of the sin of embarrassment.” Please explain what the “sin of embarrassment” is?

Embarrassment is a broad concept. We get embarrassed whenever we encounter something we don't expect. For example, you expect holiness, but what you encounter is not quite holiness. Let's say that for the first time a layman found himself at a holiday at the table with the clergy. He is afraid to chew loudly, he thinks that he has to be subtle here, but he hears that no, people eat heartily and with appetite and talk not necessarily about biblical subjects. And he suddenly became embarrassed. Whenever we expect something so big and are met with something simple, we tend to get confused. There is unnecessary embarrassment when you raise some level of expectations within yourself. And life somehow humbles you: calm down, at the right time we will tell you spiritual words, but now relax, eat, drink, listen to simple speeches. This is such an embarrassment.

There is confusion from demons. There are such scrupulous souls to whom various thoughts are brought, for example, he ran to confession, but the prayer before confession has already been read, and now the person is embarrassed and suffers for half the service whether he should go to confession or not. It is a whole torment when there is no simplicity in a person. Any notch thrown into his consciousness unsettles him, and he no longer knows what to do. I would like to advise such people to be simpler. In a good way, it’s simpler, not in the sense of being bolder and more reckless, but simpler and calmer.

Because there are a million reasons for embarrassment, by all means mass media work for the embarrassment industry. All the information thrown at us tends to rock us, shake us, excite us, and then lower us into despondency.

And in spiritual life, a person is often afraid of something, then demonic fears, then despondency, then lack of faith, or thinks that nothing is working out for him. From here everything is born. A person needs to have the same healthy soul that a healthy person has a healthy appetite. He eats, crunches on whatever cucumber is on the table, and everything is fine with him. You need to have such a healthy mental organization. The question is, where can I get it?

People have become so nervous, so thin, so touchy. Almost all city dwellers are neurotic. But we need to have a normal, healthy, “rosy-cheeked” soul that seeks simple food and enjoys simple sunshine. Ask God for mental health, and I must ask for it:

Lord, You are my doctor, heal my soul from old diseases that You Yourself see and know.

So that we can be simple, healthy people, having a simple, healthy faith, and, in the end, enter a real and beautiful paradise.

Question from a TV viewer: Is a confession written on paper and read by the priest himself accepted by God, are sins forgiven? I'm disabled and I can't do it any other way.

Without a doubt. In essence, a paper charter is a charter of your heart. When you write your sins on paper, you transfer the invisible into the visible. This is the secret of the heart written on a piece of paper. The priest who reads these sins accepts them as if he had uttered them with his own lips. He reads a prayer over you, tears up the list - it’s the same as if your sins are leaving you. Of course, this is accepted, and don't doubt it.

Question from a TV viewer: I confessed and received communion, then sinned again, how can I return to God? I visit the temple regularly, but I feel indifferent. I pray, anoint myself, and borrow the grace of the Holy Spirit. What should I do for God in return? How can I return to the bosom of the Church if I say “I Believe”, but in reality it is not possible to carry it out to the end?

A very important thing: the first schisms in the Church were the Donatist schisms, which were characterized by so-called perfectionism - the desire for the Church to consist only of saints. We should all be heroes of spirit, and there is no weakness in us. From here arose contempt for those who sin, arrogance over those who sin a lot and often, the desire to cut off all the weak, unnecessary, and so on. Whole heresies grew out of this.

The desire for perfectionism, the desire for everything to be fine, can also be dangerous. The Church is holy, but not so much by our holiness, but by the holiness of its Head - our Lord Jesus Christ. It communicates health to the body. The Church includes not only saints, but also sinners. This is very important to understand. Repentant sinners who have not completely overcome sin, who suffer from sin and who have not achieved perfection are also people who belong to the Church.

In a large body, every eyelash and every nail is needed. In a large body there are various multifunctional organs, both large and small, both noticeable and invisible. Therefore, do not doubt your belonging to the Church because you have not achieved perfection, because you fall, sin, repent again, and fall again.

Sinners who repent belong to the Church just as much as saints. And not one true saint will neglect a sinner, because he knows that he and I are in the same Church. Only false holiness neglects sinners; it forgets that it has a source - Christ, Who neglects no one. But the self-saint thinks that he is holy in himself, so he despises the repentant. A true saint does not despise sinners. Kuksha of Odessa said: I myself am a sinner, and I love sinners. I would like to get off the edge and into the little paradise.

Your struggle is a sign that you belong to the Church. There is no point in you being despondent, there is no point in crying that you are weak. But you are not outside the Church, but in It. People like you make up one of the cohorts of the Church - these are those who cry and fall, bearing their weakness and begging God to heal them. We all belong to them, from time to time each of us cries about our damnation.

Question from a TV viewer from Astrakhan: Recently I heard Professor A.I. Osipov, who said that small children brought to church distract parishioners from the service. Is this considered a sin, and at what time is it better to bring small children from one to one and a half years old?

Of course, this is not any sin; it is an everyday disciplinary difficulty that is superimposed on liturgical life. Because the Small child cannot consciously participate in prayer, cannot sing “I Believe” with us, does not understand what is happening during the Eucharistic canon, he must come with him directly to Communion itself, to the prayer “Our Father.”

It is clear that this creates difficulties for parents, because mom or dad find themselves torn out of the Liturgy, which is inevitable difficulties; you need to endure this while the child is small. There is no sin in this, it is simply a difficulty associated with the unconscious, young age of our children. You need to bring them to the temple just before the removal of the Chalice.

Our program time has come to an end. Thank you for today's conversation. We never got to the Sacrament of Communion. I hope that next time we will discuss this topic. In conclusion, I ask you to bless our viewers.

Christ, transfigured in glory before the disciples-apostles, who revealed His glory to Moses and Elijah, may He also shine with His Ever-Essential Light through the prayers of the Mother of God, for He is the Giver of Light, and glory to Him.

Presenter: Sergey Yurgin
Transcript: Yulia Podzolova

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02. 10. 2018

Peace to you, dear visitors of the Orthodox website “Family and Faith”! For educational viewing (and reading), we offer the next episode of the program “Conversations with the Father” on the Soyuz TV channel, the guest is the chairman of the Commission on Family Issues, Protection of Motherhood and Childhood of the St. Petersburg Diocese, Archpriest Alexander Diaghilev. The theme of our program is “Family and School.” - It would seem like some kind of secular theme, but nevertheless, tomorrow is the Day...

For educational viewing (and reading), we offer the next episode of the program “Conversations with the Father” on the Soyuz TV channel, the guest of which was the rector of the temple of the icon Mother of God“Consolation and Consolation” on the Khodynka Field in Moscow, Archpriest John Kudryavtsev. The topic of the TV show: how to become kind. – It would seem such a simple question – what is good? Why does he demand special attention? – It seems to me that at first glance everyone...

08/10/2018 – Greetings, friends! May the Lord bless us to benefit from mutual communication.

– Dear brothers and sisters, our conversation with Father Artemy will be about repentance, Confession and Holy Communion. Father Artemy, what is repentance and what is not?

– True repentance always has its fruits – a change from worse to better, it presupposes a fiery determination to enter into the struggle with one’s own sins and passions. On the paths of true repentance, a person always encounters merciful grace, which supports, purifies, and sanctifies him. False repentance is some kind of wickedness hidden from oneself, but not from God, when a person says something but hides something, or mechanically, mechanically talks about his sins, but does not want to change for the better.

- Father, how can we achieve sincere repentance? After all, we often realize that a certain act is sinful, but deep down we do not feel repentance...

- Ask as in a prayer to the Mother of God: “Open the doors of repentance to us, Mother of God.” Anyone who asks receives. But, since we are talking about life and death, eternal salvation or eternal shame - this is not a joke! - accordingly, we must begin the work of repentance and Confession as if for the first, and perhaps the last time in our lives.

– So, it turns out that at Confession you need to confess all, all, all the sins that were committed during your life? Or should we at least omit those who repented?

- Well, of course, Confession is not a simple repetition with the lips of what has long been mourned and forgiven. Of course, many of our TV viewers would be interested to know what the so-called “general Confession” is: “for the first time - in first grade” - after living a third of your life, you come to the cross and the Gospel, cross this demarcation line of indecision, take a step to see the Fatherly embrace open. And here you need to remember everything from a very tender age, which means preparing well in advance, even marking something for yourself, the most important pain points, and first of all talking about what is most shameful, most difficult to say.

– So you have to start with the heaviest sins?

– This is methodologically correct, and not like fashionable ladies: “Oh, father, I’m so irritable! I get irritated for no reason at everything: at you, at the table, at the glass” - the priest thinks: “What would be the reason for this unmotivated irritability?” And she has a duality in her soul! When you ask her: “Are you married?”, she will answer: “This is too difficult a question for Confession.” It is clear that if a person there, in the “terrarium”, has such undiscovered mortal sins, there will be no kindness and gentleness in his character, only causticity and irritability. Therefore, it is not enough to cut off the “tops”; you need to raise the “roots”.

- Father, based on the fact that Holy Communion is preceded by repentance, repentance-Confession, tell us how to prepare for Confession - both from a methodological point of view and from a spiritual one.

– If we are talking about the first Confession, I can remember myself, my student years. As a student at Moscow University, a philologist, studying in the library, I suddenly saw a book by chance. On it were written the words “The Ordeal of Blessed Theodora,” which were not very clear at first glance. There is a book that is very interesting for research. The fate of the soul of this very Theodora, who lived in late Middle Ages, upon leaving the body. And when this book opened in front of me, my cheeks burned, I forgot everything and everyone around me. Our soul ascends to the Throne of God from one outpost to another, ordeals - those outposts where fallen spirits, demons, come out like customs officers and look to see if there is anything in the soul that they can profit from: unlived passions, unconfessed sins. And, you know, before the library closed, I sat and wrote out, wrote out everything point by point, because a lot of things corresponded to my then young, but not entirely wonderful life. And I remember how, not without an internal struggle, I came to confession with this conductor. Despite the fact that some insinuating voice inspired me: “Where are you going? How will the priest look at you? What will he say when he finds out this about you?” But the warm wind of grace, as I now understand, pushed: “Only today! Not a day later! Let the whole world judge, but not you, Lord!” And my heart did not deceive me. Indeed, the priest, God rest his merciful soul, listened with such patience to my revelations that burned my tongue, conscience, and heart. However, you know, going down the steps, going down after this confession, I learned that God not only exists, but that He is present in us with His grace. There was a feeling that the body became lighter, as if all the joints and bones had been cleansed of some toxins. But, most importantly, I wanted to love everyone, everyone was so nice and bright. Now I am convinced that an optimistic, life-affirming worldview among Christians is born precisely after the cleansing of their conscience.

- Well, here you were talking about General Confession, I understand correctly? The first one is the general confession.

– How to prepare for the next confession?

- Self-observation. Remember one mediocre politician who expressed his administrative thoughts with the phrase: accounting and control? During the week that we live, waiting for Confession, say, from Saturday evening or Sunday, pay attention to yourself. That is, look what is happening in your soul. Keep your ears on top. A Christian is a many-eyed cherub who must look at the road - first to the left, then to the right - a pedestrian - and feel how the person with whom you communicate perceives you. But at the same time, the inner eye must examine your own heart and, as soon as some passion stirs, anger, vanity, something unclean appears - remember how Suvorov: “Cut, stab, hit! The bullet is a fool, the bayonet is great! Fight!" - that is, call on the name of the Lord, cross yourself, fight off these excuses of sin as best you can. Well, all that will be remembered is: you lost your temper, said some rude, unethical word - why? Why? - here you are, forgive me, you overate so much that “something has happened to your memory: you remember everything that was not with you.” Write all this down and come to the priest prepared. Because you don’t bring a bunch of news, like some grandmothers: “I was in the Auchan store, bought three pots of flowers” ​​- the priests listen to this. And bring the quintessence: “My prayer has not yet become attentive. I still find myself prone to judgment. My eyes lingered on something inappropriate, indecent. Forgive me, Lord! Help me correct myself and live Orthodoxy!”

– Father, is it possible that our inner vision is so clouded that we cannot even record our sins?

- Down and Out trouble started. Indeed, now our eyes are blinded by internal dialogues with ourselves and unnecessary memories that do not serve the purpose. However, patience and work will grind everything down - you just need to start. This process is so fascinating, I mean “cleansing the Augean stables” - if you remember, Hercules worked so hard - that in two and a half years you will already get to the vision of your general sinfulness. It is God's gift to feel that you are a weak and infirm creature; a vision not of the sins themselves, but of the passions that invade your life, the ability to painfully experience your own depravity, combined with the prayer “Lord, have mercy!” God, be merciful to me, a sinner! Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy, cleanse me, a sinner!” - this is actually internal repentance, which little by little will lift you from rags to riches.

- Thanks for the answer. And a question for you from the Nizhny Novgorod region: “Hello! Does the priest have the right to take money from those confessing during confession?”

– God save the priest’s thick forehead from this blasphemous act! For the priest, not only for confession, does not have the moral spiritual right to ask for anything for any pastoral services. Why? Yes, because “freely you have received, freely give.” Glory to You, Lord, not everything in our lives is bought and sold. And therefore, if a priest demands something from you: “It will cost so much or so much,” you can unwittingly become like the Christ seller Judas. It’s one thing to say, “Sorry, I can’t get to your house; If possible, send a car for me.” Well, at worst: “You know, I have a car, but I don’t have money for gas, can you help me make up for it?” – this is still all right. But when priests begin to become like taxi drivers, they bring the apocalypse closer, preparing themselves to join the ranks of the condemned. Therefore, I think it is not even useful in churches (I hope my fellow priests will not judge me) to place some kind of plate next to confession. So that the one who has received remission of sins donates his pfennigs there. Well, why? Isn’t it enough at the entrance to the temple to have a box where it says: “a sacrifice for the temple”, “for decorating the shroud?” For example, we have a box in which they put most of their contributions - it says “To support the poor,” and there are enough of them. This is modern social work, charity service at the parish. Therefore, God save us, priests, from such a selfish view! A child in Christ comes to you, spiritual father, and will you look at his pocket and not at his heart? Contra dice sine qua non is a condition without which there can be no Confession, the spiritual aspiration of a priest: let him become like a doctor, not a grabber. Forgive, Lord, and have mercy.

- Father, but sometimes it happens that, let’s say, the confessing mother after confession puts some amount on the lectern for the priest...

- He puts a candle, or even puts in a hundred rubles, ten rubles. But parishioners must be taught: “Darling, you will not enrich me with your offerings. Put them in a piggy bank.” Well, in the end, if a person himself wants to express his gratitude in such a rustic way - for the glory of God, for good deeds! But I don’t ask or expect this. Of course, you are right, a priest in Russia will never go hungry. The same grandmother, pleased that the priest listened to her carefully, will say tomorrow: “Father, I brought a goat. Should we bring her into the church, or will she wait there on the porch?” He will wait, he will wait, he will wait. The people, of course, bring eggs and cottage cheese to the priest. Do you see how wide the sleeves are? It went in one sleeve and came out the other. We all live by participating in the redistribution of love. In this sense, the priest is a living person, and lives on donations, this is so.

– Question from the online forum of our program: “How can a secular working person prepare for Confession and Holy Communion? Taking into account the unchurched environment and little experience.”

– Secular – but not Soviet... The fact is that the concept of “secular” does not at all exclude spiritual enlightenment. In the evening, go to a service, to the All-Night Vigil. Already think, think about what you would like to say to the priest. “Bah, there he stands, the priest!” Today, in many churches, confession is already performed at the All-Night Vigil, which is absolutely correct. So that in the evening, having revealed the wounds of your soul to God, in the morning, already renewed, with wings on your back, you thirst and hunger for Holy Communion. We are all surrounded by a busy life, a priest or an economist - we all move “in this big world.” And therefore, of course, you need to come to your senses a little: in the evening after the evening service, when you come home, drink some tea, read with attention the prayer rules for Holy Communion. But someone has already made friends with the prayer book, and it is their reference book, and someone, perhaps, considers it a feat for themselves to learn the Lord’s Prayer. In this sense, try to open your heart to Heavenly Father, Who sees and hears you: “Lord, grant me to see my sins! Teach me, enlighten me - what, how, in what order to confess?” You know, God will put everything on your heart - just calm down a little, think in solitude and (my unobtrusive advice) write briefly the main, so to speak, splinters with which your heart is bleeding. But in the morning, on an empty stomach, come to the temple, and early. Look at where in the church the priest appeared with the cross, the Gospel, and the stole. If you are very timid (this especially applies to men, they, like bunnies, tremble with excitement. And it’s good, because Confession is neurosurgery. This is the only moral therapy through which the dead become alive, and a person burdened with sins, gains incredible lightness, forgiveness and mercy from the Lord, just have the desire to change from worse to better), ask the priest: “Father, dear, you will forgive me, it’s my first time today. Won't you help me? However, I was prepared” - “Oh, well, well, let’s, let’s listen to you.” Choose a priest who is more psychological. Also, dentists are different: someone will understand that you need to fill a canal by first removing a nerve, and someone will say: “Oh, you have cosmetic repairs here. Now I’ll varnish it for you.” Let the priest look at the root. Well, since saving drowning people is the work of the drowning people themselves, we will make this surgical work easier for the priest, and, as we found out at the beginning of the program, strike the serpent at the head. “Father, I was young and stupid, before I met my bride, I had. .. pen test with three, five. Lord have mercy. He promised to marry one, and then somehow undignifiedly walked away. My soul still hurts. But after getting married and giving flowers for the wedding, I never did this again for the next fifteen years. There was not enough warmth and attention, dear. Well, thank God, we have now come to the realization of the need to get married. Father, help us sanctify our marital union under the sign of eternity.” So, word by word, and the priest will deepen the matter - you will enter the realm of dazzling Divine light.

- Thank you, father. And I have one more question for you, this time from the Kaluga region: “Please tell me, I heard that we have such a rule in Orthodoxy: in order to approach the Holy Chalice, you do not need to eat or drink from Friday evening until Sunday, and that’s all... Saturday is the same day, without food and without drink. And on Sunday morning you come to the service and receive communion...”

“You know, apparently, the priest at your parish is some kind of cave dweller, Robinson Crusoe, who himself does not eat for weeks and does not give it to others. I think that such a strict fast is simply an exception to the rule. If you remember biblical story: the prophet Jonah testified to the inhabitants of Nineveh that the city would be destroyed, subjected to heavenly punishment, and so they imposed on themselves such a fast, which a Kaluga parishioner has just told about. Even babies were not allowed to eat or drink. The same fast was imposed by the second militia, Minin and Pozharsky, when they received God’s blessing from above, they themselves fasted like this before the start of the campaign against Moscow, but Kaluga is not going to Moscow yet. I think that resorting to such a post would be unjustified rigorism, that is, strictness, incompatible with the weakness of modern man. Therefore, let's fast on Friday - abstain from meat and dairy. Add Saturday to this and it will be more than enough. But be sure to eat on Saturday, especially since in Kaluga you have natural products. Pour fried sunflower oil over the potatoes with onions, you can add some lightly salted tomato, but as your culinary experience will tell you. So let's, friends, stick to reason in everything. You say: “You won’t eat or drink for three days,” well, okay, you’ll come because you’re of strong build, Kaluga blood. And Muscovites will simply be brought to the temple on stretchers after such abstinence. It will be some kind of lying strike, not Sunday liturgy.

“I also noticed that the word “confession” was not mentioned in mother’s question. That is, as I understand it, we are talking only about fasting and subsequent Holy Communion.

– Well, Confession is the most important component in preparing for Communion. Let us make a reservation that not everyone is capable of fasting. You may have colitis, I have gastritis, some gastroenterological problems, but a student is asthenic, and someone has anemia, so you need to approach each parishioner strictly individually. I'm talking about a shepherd who instructs people. But St. Theophan the Recluse, an eminent writer of the 19th century, discussing preparation for Holy Communion, testifies remarkably briefly: “Confess from the heart (that is, sincerely, deeply. - Fr. Artemy), so you are ready for Holy Communion,” because boldness , the opening of the soul, the readiness to accept the Heavenly Gift, as a rule, is given by confession - “I humbled myself, and the Lord saved me.”

- Father, please tell me, why is it shameful to repent, but not to sin?

– You know, I don’t find this statement absolute. When people ask me about this, I usually object: “You know, to do unclean, shameful and disgusting things, and terrible and shameful. And to repent is commendable and joyful.” Indeed, the Savior did not say about every human action: “There is more joy in heaven and on earth over one who repents than over ninety-nine people living righteously.” And the one who has experienced (here is our Uncle Misha, I so hope that he will still crawl to Confession) relief, freedom, some kind of joyful dawning in his heart after a full-blooded Confession, will argue that repenting at first is not easy, but As soon as you have overcome yourself, wings appear behind your back. By the way, John Chrysostom answered your question this way: “Shameful sins are burned away by the shame of confession.” Indeed, we must step on the tail of our own selfishness - it’s not easy in the world, in the normal course of secular life to say: “Sorry, I’m guilty”, self-justification or, conversely, aggression is used - “the best defense is an offensive”: “what are you You’re getting in the way!” - this is when you stepped on your neighbor's foot with a shoe. So, it is not easy to overcome yourself, but the reward for this “forgive” is eternal salvation. It's worth the effort, dear comrades.

– Thank you for your answer, and I have another call from Urengoy: “If a person was baptized at the age of forty, after Baptism should the sins that existed before be told at Confession and repent of them? Because, let’s say, I was baptized at this age, and some priests are already saying “no need.” But sometimes I have this doubt: I seem to have them, sins that I don’t know.”

– Yes, I think this is a very necessary question for our program, for our topic. Do you remember - Saint John the Baptist, I think he is more experienced than the Moscow or Urengoy priests: what did he do when preparing people for baptism? And he was just secluded with them by the Jordan River, there were special conditions, and he confessed each one individually. This was a confessional conversation, the fruit of which was a softening of the heart and a thirst for cleansing in Baptism with water and the Spirit. Therefore, the priests apparently forgot what they studied in the seminary. And in the seminary during lessons pastoral ministry or preparing future shepherds for the ministry, they were probably told that it is necessary to talk with people - and not in general, around the bush. Yes, an educational conversation is needed. But, of course, help them look inside themselves. And you will do the right thing, if the sins that have already been forgiven you - you were baptized consciously, thank God - still confess them fluently, but by name: you will receive psychological relief, and the demons will no longer have the audacity to remind you of some bad deeds (they everyone has), all the snares with which the evil one tries to catch a Christian will be burned due to the fact that he did not properly illuminate his pre-baptismal life through a confessional conversation.

– Father, please tell me why, even with the awareness of the need to repent of one’s sins, sometimes a repentant feeling does not arise?

– You know, you can’t wait for weather by the sea. After all, our heart is not the heart of a child, bright, soft, loving, alien to ambition, resentment, but having a certain experience in life, we have all accumulated at least good and bad in our souls, and the heart is not always sensitive, it seems on a hippopotamus with rough skin. Therefore, the reasoning of others is very naive: “Here, I will pray when I want. So, for some reason I’m preparing for Confession and I don’t feel anything.” Darling, it is enough for you that you recognize in your spirit, in your conscience, the need for sensation. And joy, lightness, major will come, but not when you wait, but when God pleases. Let us remember, dear friends, the guiding words of our Savior: “Only he who exerts effort upon himself enters the Kingdom of Heaven; the Kingdom of Heaven is taken by force.” And I think that in many ways this is just an effort of self-control, introspection, attention and constant, regular confession. For example, I try to go to confession with a priest twice a week, we do it with each other. And you know how good life is! Having suffered from despondency as a student 30 years ago, I now try to prevent it in my spirit - and always through confession, with God's help, stay in good shape.

– Do I understand correctly that you need to confess up to several times a week? How many times should I take communion? How often?

– You can and should confess as needed and whenever possible, but preferably more often, so as not to turn into a wild landowner, the hero of Saltykov-Shchedrin, remember? He turned into such a horned monster... Well, as for communion, we will be guided by the Apostolic custom: no less than once a month. And according to the word of St. Seraphim, and more often: on holidays that are especially honored by the Church and you. This is a question that we are discussing personally with our confessor. The video priest cannot, excuse me, give out recipes for all occasions to everyone who asks him about it in absentia.

- Thank you, father. A question for you from Elektrostal: “Do you need to repent that you rarely repent and rarely take communion? Here I am, in fact, talking about my son, about my daughter-in-law. She is wonderful, kind, smart, a good girl, well educated, well-mannered, but sick. She has had diabetes since she was 17 years old. I tried to give birth to a child (they had been married for five years), but, unfortunately, I lost it. Doesn't go to church often. He even takes unction, but not often.

- I wish she could do it more often, dear, more often. Because the source of immortality, healing of soul and body is the sacrament of Communion. This is the first medicine. By the way, for diabetics, everything is lenient regarding fasting. This is exactly the case when a person, for example, in the morning has to give himself an injection and must definitely taste something. And we, priests, know, and in this case, such an exceptional one, we do not demand to come to the Holy Chalice even on an empty stomach. After all, the main thing is that the soul comes in strength, and not on a stretcher, as we found out. Tell her that the Lord is waiting. And the priests will be so glad to see your young ones at the cross and the Gospel at Confession. There will be more strength, and the Lord heals through the sacrament.

- Father, please tell me, is it necessary to confess sins that I have already repented of internally, before the Lord - I sinned, immediately felt that it was a sin, and sincerely asked God for forgiveness - should I bring this to Confession?

– We are called within ourselves daily, hourly, and perhaps every minute to repent. Essentially, it is contained in the words “Lord, have mercy.” But to Confession we bring, as has already been said, an extract, a squeeze. You will never be able to say in Confession how many people you have tried to condemn within yourself. There are such naive bunnies: “She condemned Ivan Ivanovich, Alevtina Petrovna,” etc. Darling! Don’t forget to draw another hundred unfamiliar passers-by... Therefore, you need to be able to generalize. Generalization is a property of the rational mind. Otherwise, you will simply get confused in three pines and will not be able to really say anything in three hours.

– Father, another question from the online forum of our program: “Is it worth explaining to others your loss from life during the period of preparation for confession, communion, during the period of fasting? And how to explain, if necessary?

– There is no need to “precipitate”. If you used to indulge in some kind of amusements of a dubious nature, then, of course, you need to fall out of the underground as soon as possible and rise to the top; and it is advisable not to return there again - night discos, gatherings in hallways, etc. By the way, you don’t need to be too frank in this world, you don’t need to confess to everyone and everything around you. And if there are those who are too eager and curious, then answer them with something like this: dear friends, I have a doctoral dissertation on my hands, please do not disturb me for the next three days. “Father, what are you advising us, this is not true?!” And I call Confession a doctoral dissertation: the doctor is the Savior, and the dissertation is your charter on which you write your sins.

– Father Artemy, please tell me: ancient Christians, as you know, confessed very rarely, almost once in their lives, why does a modern person need to confess almost several times a week?

- “Cruel morals, sir, in our city, cruel.” Weak man. And, as we see, moral regression coexists with technological progress. People become susceptible to temptations and weak. Remember what the poet says? “The heroes are not you!” The ancient Christians had an ardent heart and sacrificial love for Christ, and therefore they did not need to delve into their thoughts, they prayed unceasingly. And confession, in fact, meant reconciliation with Christ and the Church of the one who fell away from it, having committed the sin of adultery or murder or having stolen something. And we are resorting to spiritual therapy. Constantly having a need for confession, we are not saying that we lead a shameful lifestyle: we steal, commit adultery, defile our lips with abuse, all this has already left us - confess once, and guard yourself from mortal sins. But these internal vicious thoughts, feelings, the notorious irritability, relaxation, suspiciousness... We would like to cleanse our hearts of this muddy water. And a confessional conversation and permissive prayer on the part of the priest come to our aid - this is the internal need of a modern Christian.

- Thank you. And I have one more question for you from the Moscow region: “We have a church here, only one priest. And a very large parish, one might say. When you approach confession, he does not have the opportunity to listen to you and immediately covers your head, crosses you, reads a prayer - you walk away, and that’s it. While you are listening to the prayer, you seem to be aware of all your sins, but you do not have the opportunity to express them. How to be in this case?"

– First, you need to ask the priest with love to do Confession the night before. At the All-Night Vigil, there are at least ten parishioners who would diligently want to reveal what concerns them, the priest will easily listen. Secondly, you could talk to the dean - the senior priest of the district - and say: “Send us another priest! Otherwise, our dear one has completely lost his feet, he has no time to even listen to us! He’ll cover it with his stole, you’ll whisper something, and the priest will already beckon someone else.” Third, if you really need to say something, maybe write it in large handwriting. “Father, here are my sins - read them, and then cover them.” He will look at it: “Yeah, yeah. Understood. Well, God will forgive.” Fourth - if the priest doesn’t even want to read a piece of paper and covers you as if half-forcibly - like Atlas, you know, the sky supports, look out from under the stole, say: “Father, if I don’t now name the three main sins, we will burn together in eternal fire! He will say: “What? How? Speak!” Just don’t tell him that it was my advice.

– Please remind us what activities should definitely be avoided during the period of preparation for confession?

– We said: from all kinds of amusements, feasts, guests. But there should be a little privacy, right? Some kind of composure of spirit comes to us only when no one distracts us. Let's renounce the power of television a little - I don't mean the Soyuz TV channel, but other channels that call: “Stay with us! Stay with us! A little advertising, and then we will be with you until late evening.” Now, you need to be able to sacrifice something for the sake of saving your own soul.

– What about physical fasting?

– And we have already found out: we must observe Wednesday and Friday and abstain from meat and dairy. But if someone wants to add another day, we won’t scold; Here you need to discuss with your confessor. I am not in favor of fasting all week: when the Nativity fast comes, we will fast throughout the country. For those who frequently receive communion, there is no need to fast even for three days. It was not I who said this, but in the Trinity-Sergius Lavra, which sets the tone for everything. Experienced confessors still recommend not extending the Eucharistic fast for such a long time.

- Father, and literally the last question in our program today - our TV viewer asks on the forum about committing any non-mortal sins during the period of preparation for Communion, such as anger, irritation: can these sins indicate an unpreparedness for Communion ?

– Venerable Seraphim answered this question. Even if you prepare for a million years, you will still never begin with dignity, in your opinion, with dignity. But know how to instantly, like Saint John of Kronstadt, immediately contrite within yourself and repent: “I, Lord, have sinned as a man. You, being a generous God, have mercy on me.” And thus, preparation for Confession is the awareness of one’s weakness, infirmity, unworthiness, combined with trust in the All-Merciful Lord. Therefore, there is no need to look for crystal purity in yourself - it simply does not exist. But let us humble ourselves to the core, and the Heavenly Father will forgive us everything and lift us into the camp of light and love as a reward for humility and readiness alone. Remember "The Tale of a Real Man"? “If you can’t fly to Confession, run. If you can't run, go. If you can’t walk, crawl,” you will crawl to the Kingdom of Heaven.

– Father Artemy, I thank you for the conversation, on my own behalf, on behalf of the TV viewers.

– Dear friends, we say goodbye to you here. Until next time. Be with God.

Transcript of audio recording – Elena Povysheva

Archpriest Andrei Tkachev, cleric of the Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University, answers questions from viewers. Broadcast from Moscow. Broadcast July 12.

Hello, the program “Conversations with Father” is on air on the Soyuz TV channel. In the studio - Sergey Yurgin.

Today our guest is the priest of the Church of the Holy Martyr Tatiana at Moscow State University, Archpriest Andrei Tkachev.

Hello, father. Bless our viewers.

Hello. May God's mercy be with every human soul.

The topic of our program today is “Confession and Communion.” In our last program, we already started talking about the Sacrament of Confession, but there were still questions.

For those who did not watch our last program, I would like you to repeat what the Sacrament of Confession is.

In this sacrament there is an unconditional action of the healing grace of God. I would say that this sacrament is multifunctional. For a serious sinner or a person who has been baptized but has lived for a long time outside of communion in the Church, this is a way to return to the Church and unite his living union with her. For a person who has not left the Church, but is fighting sin and feels the scars and dust of the struggle, this is a way to maintain spiritual hygiene. This is a constant spiritual stimulus and shake-up and a way to keep oneself in good shape, when a person does not seem to bring anything terrible to confession, but brings everyday traces of the struggle with sin, which is not going to go anywhere.

The Sacrament of Confession is superimposed on the monastic practice of revealing thoughts, when a person reveals not so much his affairs as his secret inner world with all the intricacy of desires, thoughts, mental struggles and everything else. This often occurs in our lives: both among laity and among monks.

Confession is a sacrament that heals the human soul. Depending on the degree of illness of the soul, it has different functions and effects on our internal ulcers.

Do you need to go to confession to one priest or is it allowed to go to different ones?

From the point of view of my personal experience, books I have read and communication with other people, it seems to me that it is good to have a confessor, but not everyone has one. If you don’t have a confessor, then it’s good to have a priest who has known you for a long time, to whom you don’t have to tell your whole life all over again. When you come to confession for the first time, the priest may ask how long you have been going to church, what is your marital status, where do you work, that is, it is important for him to know the person at least a little. It’s good to have someone who won’t tell you who you are every time, and constantly carry your sores to him. It is good for him to confess the sins that most often trouble you and constitute your painful secret. If nothing terrible is happening in your life, but everyday things are happening that do not hurt you too much, then you can calmly go to any priest in any Orthodox church, if you find yourself on a trip, on vacation, or visiting a temple that is closer to home.

I think that the practice is this: if nothing special has happened, you can go to any priest. If you want to take communion, then you go to the priest, say that I have such and such and I would like to take communion. If there is something serious, you need to go to someone who knows you, if you have such a confessor. If not, then you have to be content with different priests, but this is fraught with different problems. One will be more strict, the other more soft. One will increase the demands, the other will take it easier. People are different, one wants severity, the other is afraid of it. Here we are dealing with a variety of collisions between man and man, so here we need to stock up on a certain amount of patience and understanding. If you get burned somewhere by one confession, then don’t be sad, don’t be sad.

Maybe, of course. A parish priest is a high rank, and he can be a confessor, he can, as they say, carry human souls in his hands. Even if he does not grow up to be an elder, he is still a great man, because he brings a bloodless sacrifice to God, performs other sacraments, remembers living and deceased people at the service, delves into their destinies and needs through confession and conversations with people, and preaches the Gospel. That is, the most “ugly” priest is still a great figure on the invisible spiritual field. Therefore, of course, parish clergy are called to be spiritual clergy.

For example, it is such an important fact that our parish clergy, according to tradition, are mostly married. This is the greatest advantage that distinguishes us, for example, from Catholics. What problems do people come to confession with? Take away family problems from a person and he will have nothing to come to confession with. Mother-in-law and son-in-law, mother and children, mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, crowded housing with several generations in one apartment, money problems, second wife, second husband, betrayal, drunkenness, beating, I’m old - my husband looks at the young. With all this, people come to confession. Remove this - and you will remove 98% of the need to confess or consult with a priest. Of course, this is well known to those who themselves live family life.

Of course, it’s good to come to confession to a “grandfather” - a man who has a gray beard, grown-up children, many grandchildren, he has seen it all in his life. Nothing can terrify him, he already knows everything, you are his grandson or son, daughter or granddaughter by age, so a person internally gravitates towards such a family nature of confession. When they understand you, lift you from your knees, and help you unravel your everyday knot - this is the white clergy.

When a monastic confesses, they, of course, can lead you higher, those who gravitate towards asceticism, for example, to unceasing prayer, reading spiritual literature. But a monastic confessor, if he does not have a sense of tact and proportion, may place a certain burden on a simple person that he will not bear. Here you need to have pedagogical sensitivity. Therefore, who else, if not the white clergy, should be confessors.

The fact that people go to confession en masse in monasteries is a challenge for the white clergy.

Brothers, why do you treat people so badly that they run away from you to monasteries for confession?

Maybe many people want to be stricter?

Maybe so, then - please. The white priest himself will say that he is not a monastic person, and in considerable fasting and night prayers he is a weak assistant. It will be good and fair.

But there may also be a bias in the other direction. There is a moment in the life of the Optina elder Leo when he stood in a crowd of women who came on a pilgrimage - simple peasant women in bast shoes, simple clothes, with tear-stained faces - and he told them about spiritual and everyday things. At repentance in the monastery there was some mitred priest who said to him:

You want, father, to stand with these women for an hour and talk about something.

To which Elder Leo said to him:

And that's true. If you had dealt with them at the parish, I wouldn’t have them here.

The business of a monk is, indeed, his cell and prayer. But he was forced to work with them because the white clergy does not fully care for their spiritual children.

Clergy is, in principle, the work of the white clergy. If the priest is very young, has just gotten married, and does not yet know how to live in his family, of course, it is difficult here with clergy, he is gaining difficult spiritual experience. But a person who has already lived his life, who has acquired some skill both in worship and in communicating with people, can already grow into a mediocre confessor.

That is, confessors are needed everywhere; one “All-Russian elder” is not needed so that people come to him from Kamchatka, Sakhalin, the Baltic states and the Caucasus. This, of course, is also necessary, but it is much better if each province and region had its own “burn and shine” lamp, to which their own people came. Further - more and more. So that there are many of them, of different sizes, just as star differs from star in glory. Small, big stars, constellations - all this is needed.

A simple parish priest is a completely normal confessor. Not everyone is equal to the other, they are all different. Maybe a priest with a higher education - students, maybe intellectuals, will be drawn to him. Maybe a priest from high military service, who, for example, rose to the rank of colonel, and then radically changed his life. There are a lot of them. People of a different category are drawn to them, sensing the military masculine vein in him. They are all different - and this is very good, and this is what clergy is. People will look for a confessor for themselves, by spirit, by scent, by intuition. One priest serves for a long time, reads everything, and someone likes it. And some serve quickly, but stay after the service and talk with people. One found himself here, the other - there, and everyone is fine.

There is a practice when a person comes to confession to one priest, asks him for spiritual advice, then goes to another and asks for advice on the same issue, and adds everything up, sums it up, divides it all, finding the most beneficial answer for himself and the most convenient blessing. Is it worth doing this?

The arithmetic average of the advice of different priests is a very bad practice. If the advice is different, then confusion will begin, you will have to act cunningly and choose what you like best. You must put far away the desire to gain advice from a variety of people, especially those who do not know you.

Advice should be taken from those who know you and are in the “mode” of “selfless compassion” towards you. For example, if a rich man helps the family of some priest just to survive, if he takes advice, there is a serious fear that the priest will be afraid to be categorical with him. This is a purely human moment, and there is nothing surprising here. If some doctor pulled me out of the other world for an operation, then even if I scold him in confession, then very gently, I will be grateful to him all my life and cover him with love - this is a psychologically very understandable thing. Therefore, you must honestly know from whom you are asking for advice: from someone who loves and indulges you, or from someone who knows you well and can tell you the truth. There needs to be some element of honesty here. If it doesn't exist, everything else will be some kind of mistake. If we add many vectors together, they will all collapse into one point and will not lead anywhere further. Therefore, there is no need to do this.

We must resolve our everyday issues on the basis of conscience, that is, we must go to the confessor not in the state of “I don’t know what to do,” but after doing preliminary work. If you have serious questions, consult husband and wife, wife and husband, children, elders, friends who love you. Listen to voices from the outside, ask your conscience. Pray firmly to God, go to God’s temple for a day or two, try to pray to God carefully, read the Gospel, maybe the Word of God will reveal something to you. That is, come to the priest already prepared, for example, ready to do what you don’t like, what you don’t want to do. For example, you don’t want to leave, but you have to, or you don’t want to stay, but you have to, and so on.

Pray for the priest, so that God will reveal His holy will to him. It is very important, when going to a priest, to pray to God for the priest, saying:

Lord, I am coming to You, and You bless Your servant Father Michael (or Matthew), so that through him I may hear from You, and give me the courage to accept it as from You.

We need such serious things. And when I asked here and there, it just turns out to be some kind of irritation.

Probably, you also need to ask for blessings for some prayer feats.

We are blessed with prayer from the moment of our baptism. Why are there any special blessings, which, for example, are asked for reading the Psalter? To receive communion, to pray, to fulfill the commandments, to fight sin, to read the Holy Scriptures, within which is the Psalter - we are blessed for all this from the beginning, by the fact of Christianity.

Special, requiring a blessing when, for example, they want to enter the seminary. When a girl says that she does not want to get married, but wants to maintain her virginity for the sake of Christ, this is very serious, and it is impossible without a blessing.

Question from a TV viewer from Yekaterinburg: How to prepare for Communion on a meat-free day for three days in a row or only Wednesday and Friday, is it possible to eat fish if you receive Communion in a week?

Second question: How to prepare a child for Communion?

This issue is resolved at a meeting of priests, and in pastoral practice it is accepted for discussion. The modern approach to this issue, as far as I know, is the following: if a person fasts on Wednesday and Friday all year and observes the multi-day fasts of Nativity, Great, Petrovsky, and Assumption, then the three days of fasting immediately before Communion lose their relevance for him. Three days of need for those who rarely receive communion 1-3 times a year, no more, or are lame in church discipline.

If a person carries on himself everything that the Church has blessed, then if you want to take communion on Sunday, and at the same time always fast on Wednesday and Friday, then on Saturday you can without meat, but with fish, and on Sunday nothing prevents you from taking communion . Although, of course, all this needs to be blessed by the priest who gives you communion.

I think there is no need to frown too much here and multiply disciplinary requirements. I think any shepherd, looking at this practice of a Christian, will say that he, of course, can approach the Chalice with the fear of God and faith.

As for the child, it seems to me that the most important issue for children is their desire to be in the temple and the joy of being in the temple. If a child wants to go to church, and he goes there with joy, then, I think, this is the most important preparation for Communion. Of course, sin can already manifest itself in them: they can be mischievous, lazy, disingenuous, and this must be monitored, and you can gently prompt them:

You know, son or daughter, it seems to me that you need to tell me about this in confession, yesterday you deceived me, said that you ate it, but you threw the lunch in the trash, this is already serious.

There is no need to tell children in confession that they do not listen to mom and dad. Because mom and dad are very selfish about their children’s confession, just like grandparents. We sometimes load confession with the function of enslaving children with our authority, turning the priest into our companion in turning a son or grandson into a novice. This is very harmful.

Today is information time, it is very important that the child does not stick to the TV from morning to evening and does not immerse himself in gadgets so that he can no longer get away from them. This is also an obvious sin, this is already captivity.

It is very important to maintain speech purity: so that a person does not get used to saying stupid, dirty, nasty, rotten words. So that he doesn’t take someone else’s, he doesn’t envy. Seven-year-olds already have enough of these possible sins. You should try to talk to them about this and ask the priest:

Father, my seven-year-old daughter Dashenka will come to you, she’s mischievous, she’ll be stubborn, throw a tantrum, and you can’t do anything. Talk to her, please.

Or, for example, a girl is a fashionista and demands new clothes every day. We need to understand what the real problems are. It’s not something that simply “doesn’t obey” - that’s too banal and self-serving, but when there is a real spiritual problem that the priest should talk about with the child. Here confession turns into a confidential conversation between the elder and the younger.

It is important that we do not drive the child away from church, so that the child feels good in church; this is the most important way to prepare for Communion.

Do you want to take communion?

Do you like church?

Like.

Will you take communion today?

Well, with God.

Do you think it is necessary to mindlessly carry out what the priest prescribed in confession?

Such cases can happen if a person has fallen under the weight of some strange word and does not know how to deal with it. For example, penance lasting many, many years or something else. We need to deal with this issue. The complexity of the situation is that another priest does not have the right to remove from a person what another has imposed. We need to understand everything to understand what is behind it. And if this is a fact of excessive severity or asceticism, when, for example, a person is excommunicated from Communion for ten years, then the person must figure it out, go to this priest himself without intermediaries and say that it’s hard, you can’t stand it, with a request to ease it.

But it also happens the other way around, when pilgrims come and ask for a blessing “for something.” If I bless you for such a thing, then you will run after me and ask me to “bless you.” People can also provoke the priest to do something extraordinary when they ask him some strange questions. That’s why it’s important to come to the priest with a ripe question, having done your “homework”: think about what you want, carry your problem within yourself, formulate it well, and it will be much easier for you to listen to the answer to it. Not everything here lies with the priest, but much is born of some kind of immaturity of the person himself.

What kind of questions should you approach a priest with?

With questions worthy of the priesthood. You know, as some saints said, don’t ask the king for dung. Came to God, ask for what is worthy of God. I came to the priest, asking for something worthy of the priesthood: spiritual advice, prayer, an attempt to understand some complexity, everyday and spiritual at the same time. Ask related. Came to the priest, talk about what concerns your spiritual life.

When a person comes to a priest, but he has no spiritual questions, but has everyday, material, psychological problems - this is very difficult for the priest. There are such cases, I think priests will confirm this: when a person comes who does not know why he came, and you need to pull out some deep layer from him in order to understand what he does not know about himself - this is already some kind of senile level . You have to be more than just a priest when, when talking with a person, you are trying to pull him out on a problem that he does not yet know about himself. It happens, but it is very debilitating.

It happens that a person comes to confession with us and says that he took out a mortgage, but now he doesn’t know how to pay off, and asks the priest for advice.

Such cases do happen. It happens even more, when a person begins to literally blackmail, saying: should I now take an ax and go to the bank, or should I hang myself now. And this is the first time you see this person. Then you need to stay after the service and talk to this person. In fact, you will not help him return the mortgage, but the problem discussed is reduced by half, this was noticed a long time ago.

A misfortune that is expressed and listened to tends to diminish. When a person told a misfortune to a listener, he, perhaps, heard himself for the first time. Talking about yourself is the only way to understand yourself. Why is it important to journal or write letters or have conversations with someone wise and thoughtful. Otherwise you won't understand yourself. I understand myself as I begin to tell someone about myself, and someone listens attentively to me, asking leading questions.

Therefore, the unfortunate mortgage “taker” will begin to tell you his whole life. Each person has his own backstory, he is tormented by a mortgage, but it was born of something else. It turns out that he got divorced, and got divorced because he fell into fornication, and his wife could no longer tolerate him. And he will begin to unroll his ball until early childhood, and suddenly he will understand where it all began and say: “Thank you, father, I’m off.” The mortgage will somehow be resolved, and the person, perhaps for the first time, will touch upon his true problem as he talks about himself. This is very important, and here the priest serves as a psychologist. What a psychologist is paid a lot of money for, here the priest pays with his time and nerves, and thank you, Lord, that this is so. This is precisely an important spiritual function. After all, what are psychological sessions? This is confession without absolution. Why do people go to psychologists? Because they want to confess, without even hoping that their sins will be forgiven. The priest combines both, he must try to listen and pull out some deeper layers of hidden problems from the person, this helps a lot. If this is also crowned with the words “And I, unworthy priest, forgive and let go...”, then this is simply wonderful.

Question from a TV viewer: When you start trying to fulfill the commandments and live in the bosom of the Church, you feel how difficult it is. Even the Mosaic commandments cannot be fulfilled. I would like to hear advice and consolation from you, like, remember, in the finale of the film “The Island,” when Father Anatoly answered the young priest’s question, “How should we live?” answers: “And live as we live.”

I'll try. First of all, I want to say that what constitutes your inner cross is well known to me. When you try and nothing works. And you try a hundred times, and a hundred times it doesn’t work. And you don’t despair of starting for the 101st time, and the 101st time it still doesn’t work out. It's clear.

To console myself and you, I will say that the work of fulfilling the commandments is the most necessary opportunity and way to reveal human weakness. What does a person learn by fulfilling the commandments? Infirmities. This is such an interesting patristic voice: as you fulfill the commandments, you reveal your imperfection. A person will be saved not for exploits or labors, but for faith and humility. He learns humility as he becomes aware of his weakness, which, in turn, is revealed by trying to fulfill the commandments.

What's your rule? - they asked a man who had lived in serious labor for many years.

“What is my rule,” he answered. - I had different rules: both big and small. When I followed the rule, I was proud. When I didn't follow the rule, I became depressed. My rule today is “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me.”

Of all the prayers I know,

I sing in my soul or read out loud,

Breathes such wondrous power

Prayer "Lord, have mercy!"

I'm close to the final edge,

And yet with burning tears,

Although with withered body strength,

I repeat, “Lord, have mercy!”

The soul, having ended earthly life,

This prayer, not another,

Firmly and there you are behind the grave

With hope "Lord, have mercy!"

God does not want man to perish; He perfectly understands, knows and bears our imperfections. The contemplation of Christ crucified and the joy of the risen Christ sufficiently console the tormented soul. We will be saved not by works, but by grace. This greatly comforts a person - Lord, have mercy.

Question from a TV viewer from Moscow: Spiritual father - who is he, and how to properly approach a priest with a request for clergy. I live in Moscow and have been going to my priest in the Moscow region for seven years now, I consider him my spiritual father, but I don’t voice this. Is it correct?

I think that there is no need to voice and formalize everything. What you are already doing can put you in a spiritual father-spiritual daughter relationship without formalizing the process. What we have is enough. You are a happy person, you have a mentor who will accept your confession, give you communion, advise you, and pray. We grab what you have in abundance; many people are deprived of it.

Spiritual fatherhood is more important than physical fatherhood. Physical fatherhood has become rare, meaning we live in a time of serious fatherlessness. Not every child lives in a family where a man is his biological father. The father may simply not exist, he has disappeared, the father may be social, that is, he does not have the same personality, there may be a lot of other situations. A lot of children grow up without a father.

And so I ask myself and you: if normal fatherhood has become rare, or at least not found at every turn, although every child should have both a father and a mother. If such simple things have become rare, then where can we find spiritual fathers for all our spiritual children? After all, spiritual fatherhood is much stronger and more serious than physical fatherhood. Therefore, spiritual fatherlessness is also present. Everyone wants to have a spiritual father, but where can they get them?

What should a spiritual father be like in your understanding?

As I already said, such a “grandfather”. Not in the sense that he will forgive everything, sit you on your knees and blow a whistle: “there will be a pipe for you, there will be a whistle.” No.

His experience must exceed the experience of the spiritual child by the colossal difference that exists between the real parent and the child. What is a parent - a person who is two to three times larger than the child born from him. A spiritual father must be such a large-scale personality, that is, he must live much longer than you, and his inner experience, both spiritual and human, everyday, must be a source of nutrition for those who do not have this experience.

He must be compassionate, again from experience. Must be a repentant person, without guruistic inclinations, without faith in his own infallibility. It is best to repent of sins in the presence of someone who himself repents of his sins. Because if a person is confident in his infallibility, it is very scary to repent before him, he will crush you with the cold of his false holiness. If I am a sinner and he is a saint, it’s terrible. And if he says: I am the same sinner, don’t be afraid, there is only one sinless person - Christ. You can cry on the knees of such a person. Hearing the sins of other people, he must recognize himself in these sins, not because he has to do all this, but because he recognizes human pain.

After all, in fact, we hear nothing new, we hear modifications, variations of the same passions, and nothing new, therefore the requirements for a confessor are very high. Of course, he must be well-read in the Holy Scriptures, in patristic literature, spiritually experienced, lenient, strict in necessary cases, but severity must be diluted with leniency in a proportion of probably 5 to 95. That is, most cases require leniency, some rare cases require severity, you need to enable different modes.

Question from a TV viewer from Cheboksary: ​​How can I pray if I cannot forgive some people with all my heart? How can I say the words “and forgive us our debts, as we also forgive our debtors,” if I have not forgiven with all my heart? The same with the prayer “Lord, have mercy.” Can I ask for mercy on me if I cannot have mercy on my neighbor in the same way?

Well, you have touched real pain, a real ulcer. Where you are stuck with words that you cannot pronounce, you should not pronounce them until you actually say them, from your heart and truly.

You have reached a sacred barrier. Wonderful. If you overcome this barrier, you will immediately rise to a very large step upward, which is what I wish for you.

Just now divide the problem into two parts. You may have personal enemies, for example, people who took out a loan and do not pay it back for a long time, or people who cut off a piece of your garden. These are your personal enemies, and perhaps you cannot forgive them.

But often people say these words “I can’t forgive them” to people whom they don’t know personally, don’t have personal contact with, but screw themselves up, for example: I won’t forgive Chubais for ruining half the country in such and such years and for rolling blackouts in the 90s. I won’t forgive Obama for bombing and something else. If these problems bother you, feel free to throw them in the trash, because the Lord’s Prayer tells us about those people who are specifically intertwined with you by life circumstances, and you have a specific grievance against a specific person. For example, someone was rude to you in transport, and you hold the grudge for two days and cannot pray. And don't pray until you forgive. And when you overcome it, you will become stronger, and a new stage of life will begin for you - spiritual freedom will begin.

To forgive, to overcome some difficult internal problem of relationships with relatives, with a boss at work, with a person who has offended or deceived you is a great feat, this is a victory. If you have such cases, continue to fight.

The person insulted you with terrible words and scolded you. But if you put this insult on one side of the scale, and on the other - all your sins, everything, everything that you know or don’t know, and say: I will forgive him for this, and I will be forgiven for all THIS. This is a very unequal exchange - think about it. EVERYTHING will be forgiven to you, and you will forgive, even if offensive, nonsense. Everything will be forgiven to you - you will receive great freedom, and then you will say to God with boldness:

Lord, for a long time I could not say these words to You, but now I can, and now forgive me my debts as I forgave my debtor. I forgave him for this, I forgot, and You, Lord, forgive me ALL my sins.

This will be a great change, you will exchange a bag of garbage for a carload of gold - this will be the exchange. For now you are stuck with a problem, but solve it, and by solving it, you will become terribly rich.

This is the solution to life's problems that the Lord's Prayer offers us.

Question from a TV viewer from the Moscow region: Is there any point in confessing a sin if I know it will happen again? After all, this probably turns out to be deceit?

It makes sense to confess a sin, even if you suspect it will happen again. There are sins that are inevitable to be repeated. For example, a person says that he is distracted in prayer or that he has no love, often no patience. I am absolutely sure that when you come back in a week, you will repeat the same thing. It would be strange if you said: “Last time I said that I don’t have love, but now I do. And now I don’t get distracted in prayer.” Such things can always be repeated, or they can not be repeated, but implied. This is where the dust comes from? Nobody knows, but wet cleaning will have to be done, because the dust comes by itself.

If we are talking about serious sins, if, God forbid, you are cheating on your wife, and you are so involved with this sin that you know that you will not get rid of it in the near future, and come cry for yourself. But walk away from confession and know that you are again not free, that you are again under the threat of getting into the same puddle. In this case, you cannot receive communion, but you still need to confess. Confess once - and, unfortunately, you will return to the previous state. Second, third time. In the end, your conscience will torture you, and either you will kill your conscience and become an animal, or your conscience will kill your sin and force you to become a human. You will fight your conscience in mortal combat, until you are hoarse and bloody, until one of you wins. Either you will become an animal, or you will become a man, and your conscience will defeat you.

Therefore, you still need to talk about your sins in confession, especially if these are serious things that require an indispensable struggle with yourself. Like hygiene things, when, for example, you brush your teeth, you are sure that you will brush them again. You wash your things, but you are sure that you will have to do this more than once - this is normal.

In this sense, the discipline of confession is a hygienic discipline, it requires repetition, keeps you on your toes, and prevents you from getting lice. If you don't clean your room, don't shave or wash, you'll get lice. In this sense, these repetitions are the hygienic function of confession. Repeat, no worries.

Question from a TV viewer from St. Petersburg: Father Anatoly Optinsky has the words: “beware of the sin of embarrassment.” Please explain what the “sin of embarrassment” is?

Embarrassment is a broad concept. We get embarrassed whenever we encounter something we don't expect. For example, you expect holiness, but what you encounter is not quite holiness. Let's say that for the first time a layman found himself at a holiday at the table with the clergy. He is afraid to chew loudly, he thinks that he has to be subtle here, but he hears that no, people eat heartily and with appetite and talk not necessarily about biblical subjects. And he suddenly became embarrassed. Whenever we expect something so big and are met with something simple, we tend to get confused. There is unnecessary embarrassment when you raise some level of expectations within yourself. And life somehow humbles you: calm down, at the right time we will tell you spiritual words, but now relax, eat, drink, listen to simple speeches. This is such an embarrassment.

There is confusion from demons. There are such scrupulous souls to whom various thoughts are brought, for example, he ran to confession, but the prayer before confession has already been read, and now the person is embarrassed and suffers for half the service whether he should go to confession or not. It is a whole torment when there is no simplicity in a person. Any notch thrown into his consciousness unsettles him, and he no longer knows what to do. I would like to advise such people to be simpler. In a good way, it’s simpler, not in the sense of being bolder and more reckless, but simpler and calmer.

Because there are a million reasons for embarrassment, all the media work for the embarrassment industry. All the information thrown at us tends to rock us, shake us, excite us, and then lower us into despondency.

And in spiritual life, a person is often afraid of something, then demonic fears, then despondency, then lack of faith, or thinks that nothing is working out for him. From here everything is born. A person needs to have the same healthy soul that a healthy person has a healthy appetite. He eats, crunches on whatever cucumber is on the table, and everything is fine with him. You need to have such a healthy mental organization. The question is, where can I get it?

People have become so nervous, so thin, so touchy. Almost all city dwellers are neurotic. But we need to have a normal, healthy, “rosy-cheeked” soul that seeks simple food and enjoys simple sunshine. Ask God for mental health, and I must ask for it:

Lord, You are my doctor, heal my soul from old diseases that You Yourself see and know.

So that we can be simple, healthy people, having a simple, healthy faith, and, in the end, enter a real and beautiful paradise.

Question from a TV viewer: Is a confession written on paper and read by the priest himself accepted by God, are sins forgiven? I'm disabled and I can't do it any other way.

Without a doubt. In essence, a paper charter is a charter of your heart. When you write your sins on paper, you transfer the invisible into the visible. This is the secret of the heart written on a piece of paper. The priest who reads these sins accepts them as if he had uttered them with his own lips. He reads a prayer over you, tears up the list - it’s the same as if your sins are leaving you. Of course, this is accepted, and don't doubt it.

Question from a TV viewer: I confessed and received communion, then sinned again, how can I return to God? I visit the temple regularly, but I feel indifferent. I pray, anoint myself, and borrow the grace of the Holy Spirit. What should I do for God in return? How can I return to the bosom of the Church if I say “I Believe”, but in reality it is not possible to carry it out to the end?

A very important thing: the first schisms in the Church were the Donatist schisms, which were characterized by so-called perfectionism - the desire for the Church to consist only of saints. We should all be heroes of spirit, and there is no weakness in us. From here arose contempt for those who sin, arrogance over those who sin a lot and often, the desire to cut off all the weak, unnecessary, and so on. Whole heresies grew out of this.

The desire for perfectionism, the desire for everything to be fine, can also be dangerous. The Church is holy, but not so much by our holiness, but by the holiness of its Head - our Lord Jesus Christ. It communicates health to the body. The Church includes not only saints, but also sinners. This is very important to understand. Repentant sinners who have not completely overcome sin, who suffer from sin and who have not achieved perfection are also people who belong to the Church.

In a large body, every eyelash and every nail is needed. In a large body there are various multifunctional organs, both large and small, both noticeable and invisible. Therefore, do not doubt your belonging to the Church because you have not achieved perfection, because you fall, sin, repent again, and fall again.

Sinners who repent belong to the Church just as much as saints. And not one true saint will neglect a sinner, because he knows that he and I are in the same Church. Only false holiness neglects sinners; it forgets that it has a source - Christ, Who neglects no one. But the self-saint thinks that he is holy in himself, so he despises the repentant. A true saint does not despise sinners. Kuksha of Odessa said: I myself am a sinner, and I love sinners. I would like to get off the edge and into the little paradise.

Your struggle is a sign that you belong to the Church. There is no point in you being despondent, there is no point in crying that you are weak. But you are not outside the Church, but in It. People like you make up one of the cohorts of the Church - these are those who cry and fall, bearing their weakness and begging God to heal them. We all belong to them, from time to time each of us cries about our damnation.

Question from a TV viewer from Astrakhan: Recently I heard Professor A.I. Osipov, who said that small children brought to church distract parishioners from the service. Is this considered a sin, and at what time is it better to bring small children from one to one and a half years old?

Of course, this is not any sin; it is an everyday disciplinary difficulty that is superimposed on liturgical life. Since a small child cannot consciously participate in prayer, cannot sing “I Believe” with us, and does not understand what is happening during the Eucharistic canon, we need to come with him directly to Communion itself, to the prayer “Our Father.”

It is clear that this creates difficulties for parents, because mom or dad find themselves torn out of the Liturgy, which is inevitable difficulties; you need to endure this while the child is small. There is no sin in this, it is simply a difficulty associated with the unconscious, young age of our children. You need to bring them to the temple just before the removal of the Chalice.

Our program time has come to an end. Thank you for today's conversation. We never got to the Sacrament of Communion. I hope that next time we will discuss this topic. In conclusion, I ask you to bless our viewers.

Christ, transfigured in glory before the disciples-apostles, who revealed His glory to Moses and Elijah, may He also shine with His Ever-Essential Light through the prayers of the Mother of God, for He is the Giver of Light, and glory to Him.

Presenter: Sergey Yurgin
Transcript: Yulia Podzolova

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