Miguel Ruiz born in 1952 in Mexico, into a family of healers. He worked as a neurosurgeon, but the experience of clinical death in 1970 changed his life. After this, he turns to the wisdom of his Toltec ancestors, becomes a shaman and takes on the mission to impart this wisdom to as many people as possible. After many years of teaching and writing, he passed the baton to his son José Luis Ruiz in 2002. The Four Agreements remains his main book.

Massive interest in the traditional beliefs and rituals of the American Indians, characteristic of the New Age movement, began with the works of the American writer, anthropologist and ethnographer Carlos Castaneda. In 1968, Castaneda’s book “The Teachings of Don Juan” was published, which gained enormous popularity among the hippie generation. Thirty years later, a new wave of interest in the heritage of the Indians arose in connection with the work of Don Miguel Ruiz. The Four Agreements was first published in the United States in 1997. Overseas, they were actively promoted in her talk show by TV presenter Oprah Winfrey, recognized as the most influential woman in her country. The book was a resounding success, and its author took care to make his “agreements” a well-known brand. Now the book has been published in Russia.

What are we talking about? The point of these agreements is to destroy the prejudices that limit us. They develop in us from childhood, distorting reality and making us suffer. Due to our upbringing and cultural characteristics (ideas of what is fair and what is wrong, beautiful and ugly) and due to personal projections (“I must be good,” “I must succeed”), we have internalized a false image of ourselves and the world around us. “These ideas reproduce the principles of cognitive therapy, according to which the inability to detach or an excessive desire to generalize often become traps for us,” says psychiatrist Francois Thioly. “Some of Miguel Ruiz’s ideas are consonant with Christian commandments, some are close to Buddhism,” says psychotherapist Ekaterina Zhornyak. “It is no coincidence that there are exactly four agreements: in Buddhism there are four noble truths, in Christianity there are four evangelists, and the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges believed that there are only four plots in literature.”

Why then is this book so fascinating? The author's talent is demonstrated by his ability to explain the four conventions in simple words and on specific examples. You don't have to be an initiate to put them into practice. Miguel Ruiz doesn't force anything on us. He makes it clear that if he can master these principles, then everyone else can do it.

Who are the Toltecs?

The warlike Toltec tribe lived in Latin America, in what is now Mexico, in the years 1000-1300. Judging by legends and excavations, this people excelled in the arts and architecture, and also achieved wisdom, the key to which are famous agreements. Proudly accepting this heritage, the Aztecs carried the knowledge and philosophy of the Toltecs to the present day.

First Agreement: “Let your word be impeccable”

“Speak directly and honestly. Say only what you really mean. Avoid saying things that could be used against you or gossiping about others. Use the power of words to achieve truth and love."

“Miguel Ruiz reminds us of the power of words over the psyche,” explains clinical psychologist Olivier Perrot. “Each of us has preserved in our memory hurtful parental phrases.” We often forget that words have weight: they influence reality. “Tell a child that he is chubby, and he will feel fat for the rest of his life,” says Olivier Perrault.

“A lie destroys a person, he ceases to understand who he is and who those around him are,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “Lies are disastrous for relationships with loved ones - under its influence, relationships gradually collapse.”

How to tackle this? Maintain moderation in speech: do not speak too much or too quickly. According to Miguel Ruiz, it all starts with inner speech addressed to oneself. Not only criticism and condemnation of others, but also our continuous “I can’t do it,” “I’m not good for anything,” “I look bad” - all this is negative, clogging our mentality. Meanwhile, these are just projections, images that arise in response to our ideas about what others expect from us. “We need to pause and realize what exactly we are going to say and why we want to say exactly this,” suggests Ekaterina Zhornyak. Conclusion: let's talk less, but truly, emphasizing the best - both in us and in others.

Agreement Two: “Don’t Take It Personally”

“Other people’s affairs do not concern you. Everything people say or do is a projection of their own reality. If you develop immunity to other people’s views and actions, you will avoid needless suffering.”

In essence, the words and actions of another do not directly affect us. “They belong to another,” confirms Olivier Perrault, “because they are an expression of his own convictions. It is someone else’s idea of ​​you, not yours.”

Are you being criticized? Or do they praise? “There is no point in worrying too much about what other people think about us,” notes Ekaterina Zhornyak. “Although it is also unreasonable to ignore their experiences, pretending that we have nothing to do with it at all.” Likewise, events that happen to us are not always a response to our behavior. According to Miguel Ruiz, we must free ourselves from egocentrism, which makes us believe that everything that happens around us is a consequence of our position. Our “selfhood” locks us into our illusions. And thus supports our suffering.

How to tackle this? It's less about stoicism and more about stepping back. Trying on something that belongs to the sphere of another inevitably causes fear, anger or sadness - this is our defensive reaction. “If the other person is tired or in a bad mood, you shouldn’t immediately take it personally, get offended and slam the door,” warns Ekaterina Zhornyak. The purpose of this agreement is to leave the other fully responsible for his words and actions and not interfere. Often this is enough to defuse the situation.

Agreement Three: "Don't Make Assumptions"

“Find the courage to ask questions when there is a misunderstanding and to express what you really want to express. When communicating with others, strive for maximum clarity to avoid misunderstandings, frustration and suffering.”

“This is a common weakness,” admits Olivier Perrault. “We assume, we build hypotheses, and in the end we believe them.” A friend didn't say hello to us this morning and we imagine he's mad at us! Miguel Ruiz considers it "emotional poison." To get rid of it, he suggests learning to bring clarity, for example, by expressing your doubts. “To understand others, you need the ability to ask questions and the desire to hear a person,” notes Ekaterina Zhornyak.

How to tackle this? We need to realize that our assumptions are creations of our thoughts. As soon as the hypothesis becomes an object of faith (“He is angry with me”), we begin to “pressure” the other with our behavior (“I don’t love him anymore either” or “I have to make him love me again”), and this becomes the source of our anxiety and stress.

Agreement Four: “Try to Do Your Best”

“Your opportunities are not always the same: it is one thing when you are healthy, and another when you are sick or upset. Under any circumstances, just make every effort, and you will not have reproaches of conscience, reproaches against yourself and regrets.”

“This rule follows from the three previous ones,” states Olivier Perrault. “When you do too much, you deplete your energy and harm yourself.” “But if you do less than possible, then you doom yourself to frustration, regret and guilt,” adds Ekaterina Zhornyak. The goal is to find balance.

How to tackle this? It is not known in advance what it means in relation to me at any given moment. in the best possible way" According to Miguel Ruiz, there are days when the best thing to do is to stay in bed. In any case, Ekaterina Zhornyak emphasizes, “the worst trap is perfectionism, when what comes to the fore is not the task, but the desire to do it flawlessly and the constant feeling that little has been done and poorly.” One way to avoid this feeling is to replace “I have to do this” with “I can do this.” As Olivier Perrault argues, “in this way you can completely take ownership of the goal you set and not worry about the judgments and expectations of others.”

About this

• Don Miguel Ruiz "Four Agreements" Book of Toltec Wisdom. Practical guide"Sofia, 2007.

Photo source: EMMANUEL POLANCO FOR PSYCHOLOGIES FRANCE.

Good day everyone!

First, a small digression.

I became acquainted with literature of this kind about five years ago. It’s not that I believe in all these things like: finding eternal harmony is possible; think positively and you will live in chocolate; A person can control everything, if he learns to form thoughts correctly, etc. Just then I was curious why this literature was so popular. Although, of course, there is a healthy core in all this. But fanaticism is not inherent in me, so I treat everything new with a small amount of skepticism. I must say that I have read a lot of books in this direction. From some I was able to take something really useful, but most of them simply cloned each other and were forgotten immediately after reading. The heroine of today’s review has become, without exaggeration, my reference book. And I will be happy to tell you why I liked it. Perhaps someone after my review will want to get to know her. Or maybe for someone this acquaintance will be useful and important.

So the book "Four Agreements"- I was advised to read it in one VK group, where in discussions I mentioned that my life had stalled and stopped bringing joy. It was a rather difficult period when everything seemed wrong, one gave up on any failure, and the days were filled with disappointment and dissatisfaction. There was also dissatisfaction with myself - with myself, probably, first of all.

The book's summary caused a skeptical grin: I think I've seen this somewhere before...

This little book can completely change your life. Try to follow the Four New Agreements by changing the old agreements that have been strangling your life - the agreements imposed on us by the Sleep of the planet, the Sleep of society, the Sleep of the family - and the hellish dream in which almost all of us live will turn into a Heavenly Dream.

After this it’s hard to resist: what nonsense?!

Indeed, all these esoteric metaphors undermine confidence in the seriousness of the book. But it is small (127 pages in electronic version), and I decided: was not was. If I don’t like it, at least I’ll while away the evening. I sat down to read and... disappeared. Two hours flew by unnoticed. The incredulous smile was only on the first pages, because as I read, I became more and more imbued with the thought: Damn it, you can't argue!

Omitting the introductory part, which tells us a little about the author - Don Miguel Ruiz, mentions the four agreements themselves without details and dumps them on the reader mystical story about the Toltecs (this is people of knowledge, which, of course, you, like me, like most sane people, are neither in sleep nor in spirit...), we are making our way through the jungle to chapter one. In fact, everything is not so scary: the introduction takes only ten pages - you can bear with it, but it’s worth reading for general development.

The first chapter is already more specific. It talks about the influence of thoughts, habits, values, etc., established in childhood, on a person’s future life. Yes, the idea is not new, but that doesn’t make it any less sensible. The child believes adults, agrees with them, believes so much that he turns these beliefs into his own beliefs. The author calls it process of domestication.

In the first chapter, I found the part very interesting where the author talks about justice, according to which we should only pay once for any mistake... But, guided by memory, we condemn ourselves again and again, reproach ourselves, and feel guilty. And there is no end in sight to this. This is especially applicable to relationships between a man and a woman, when in a quarrel one of the couple recalls past mistakes, forcing the other to feel guilty once again.

All this applies to old agreements which we are offered to get rid of in order to make way for new ones - four agreements. Their essence is revealed in the following chapters.

And now about each in order.

Agreement one: Your word must be impeccable

Speak directly and honestly. Say only what you really mean. Avoid saying things that could be used against you or gossiping about others. Use the power of words to achieve truth and love.

This agreement is based on the power of the word, which we experience every day. Someone threw an insult at us - and we were already wound up. With a word you can hurt - not physically, but much more painfully, you can destroy. In a word you can save, resurrect. This is the most powerful weapon, the master of which is each of us. With the help of words you can manipulate others and influence someone’s destiny.

Every word is energy. AND

perfection in words is the correct use of energy.

By following this agreement, you will gradually get rid of the emotional poison that prompts you to curse and gossip even about those closest to you.

Agreement two: Ndon't take anything personally

Other people's affairs do not concern you. Everything people say or do is a projection of their own reality, their personal dream. If you develop immunity to other people's views and actions, you will avoid needless suffering.

I really like this idea. It should become a daily mantra for people who are heavily influenced by public opinion. Guided by this agreement, you will stop thinking about what they will say, how they will look, what they will think... These are their problems - those who say, think and look.

No one has abolished the norms of ethics, morality and, ultimately, the law. And this agreement is not a call to do crazy things without paying attention to the interests of others. No one has canceled the inviolability of personal space.

This agreement should help avoid conflicts when everyone foams at the mouth to defend their own point of view. It should help reduce your sense of self-importance and get rid of suspiciousness. Each person looks at the world through the prism of his own views. And you will never find two absolutely identical prisms. And an attempt to combine them is fraught with negative consequences. Do not try on other people's judgments and do not try to instill your views in others.

Third agreement: Don't make assumptions

Find the courage in case of misunderstanding to ask the questions you need and to express what you really want to express. Be as clear as possible when communicating with others to avoid misunderstandings, frustration, and suffering. This agreement alone can completely change your life.

Very useful advice- I know from own experience. Understatement, misunderstanding, fear of clarifying, asking again can seriously ruin life. Afraid of appearing stupid in the eyes of others, without fully understanding it, we end up in an even more ridiculous situation.

We suffer from the fact that our guesses do not coincide with reality, when our assumptions turn out to be incorrect. We find someone to blame for this, or we scold ourselves. Because of speculation, problems and quarrels often arise in relationships. Unjustified expectations bring a lot of pain. We expect from people what they really cannot give us, just because they assumed... Then we get disappointed, we blame everyone for this - ourselves first of all.

This agreement will help bring clarity to the relationships with which you are connected, and, in a global sense, to your life.

Agreement four: Try to do everything in the best way

Your opportunities are not always the same: it is one thing when you are healthy, and another when you are sick or upset. Under any circumstances, just make every effort, and you will not have reproaches of conscience, reproaches against yourself and regrets.

I attribute this to a question of laziness and the habit of putting everything off until the last moment. Until recently, I myself was like this, especially at work: you mess around during the day, and then stay late, because you have to do it, and who else if not you. Or when you had to take work on the weekends just because you weren’t putting in your best effort during working hours. And you scold yourself and feel sorry... As a result, mental imbalance and internal conflict. And again the feeling of guilt.

But everyone understands this, and any of these four agreements, in their own way. I just expressed my opinion through my own worldview prism.

In general, the book turned out to be sensible, despite the “mystical” digressions. Brief, succinct and to the point. She didn't reveal anything new, of course. But the advice that is given in it will not be superfluous to repeat again and try to follow them in life.

Therefore, I recommend that everyone interested in this kind of literature read this book. It’s small, and therefore you won’t spend a lot of time on it, if suddenly it seems stupid to you.

I recommend.

By the way, I read all books in electronic form on this wonderful device, and I have remained faithful to it for many years!

Are you upset? Are you angry? Are you in a bad mood, but you don’t want to take it out on others? Have a fight with someone, but don’t want to ruin the relationship? Then the Ho'oponopono method is for you!

Do you want to spend a quiet and enjoyable evening after a busy day? These anti-stress coloring pages will help you relax and unnecessarily disconnect from the bustle of the world.

Practical Guide

This little book can completely change your life. Try to follow the Four New Agreements by changing the old agreements that have been strangling your life - the agreements imposed on us by the Sleep of the planet, the Sleep of society, the Sleep of the family - and the hellish dream in which almost all of us live will turn into a Heavenly Dream.

Toltec don Miguel Ruiz, a Nagual of a different lineage than Castaneda, has concentrated in this small message all the wisdom of the Toltecs, and everyone, literally every one of us, can use it without fear.

Don Miguel Ruiz was born and raised in a family of healers in rural Mexico; his mother was a curandera (healer), and his grandfather was a nagual (shaman). The family hoped that Miguel would master their ancient heritage of teaching and healing people, and contribute to the esoteric science of the Toltecs. However, Miguel was fascinated by modern life, and he chose medical school to become a surgeon.

But one day he almost died, and this incident radically changed his life. One late evening in the early seventies, he fell asleep behind the wheel of his car. I woke up the moment the car crashed into a concrete wall. Don Miguel remembers that he could not feel his body when he pulled his two friends out of the wrecked car.

This event stunned him, and he began to sort out his own thoughts. Miguel dedicated himself to mastering the ancient wisdom of his ancestors, diligently learning from his mother and undergoing training with a shaman in the Mexican desert. In the dream, he received instructions from his late grandfather.

According to the Toltec tradition, the Nagual instructs a person on the path of personal freedom. Don Miguel Ruiz - Nagual of the Eagle Knight line; he devoted his life entirely to spreading the teachings of the ancient Toltecs

Four Agreements

Speak directly and honestly. Say only what you really mean. Avoid saying things that could be used against you or gossiping about others. Use the power of words to achieve truth and love.

Don't take anything personally

Other people's affairs do not concern you. Everything people say or do is a projection of their own reality, their personal dream. If you develop immunity to other people's views and actions, you will avoid needless suffering.

Don't make assumptions

Find the courage in case of misunderstanding to ask the questions you need and to express what you really want to express. Be as clear as possible when communicating with others to avoid misunderstandings, frustration, and suffering. This agreement alone can completely change your life.

Try to do everything in the best way

Your opportunities are not always the same: it is one thing when you are healthy, and another when you are sick or upset. Under any circumstances, just make every effort, and you will not have reproaches of conscience, reproaches against yourself and regrets.

In "The Four Agreements" Don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of beliefs,

which rob people of joy and condemn them to unnecessary suffering. Based on the ancient wisdom of the Toltecs, the Four Agreements offer rules of behavior that open up enormous opportunities for rapid change in life in order to find freedom, true happiness and love.

Toltecs

Thousands of years ago, the Toltecs were known throughout southern Mexico as the "people of knowledge." Anthropologists talk about the Toltecs as a nation or race, but in reality they were scientists and artists who created their own community to explore and preserve spiritual knowledge and ancient customs. They came together as masters (Naguals) and disciples in Teotihuacan, the ancient city of pyramids near Mexico City, known as "The Place Where Man Becomes God."

For thousands of years, the Naguals had to hide the wisdom of their ancestors and shroud its existence in mystery. European conquests and the open abuse of their abilities by some students forced traditional knowledge to be protected from those who were not prepared to use it wisely or who might deliberately use it for their own gain.

Toltec knowledge, like all sacred esoteric traditions throughout the world, is based on a fundamental unity of truth. It is by no means a religion, but the Toltec tradition honors all spiritual teachers who have ever taught on Earth. She also talks about the spirit, but it’s more about a way of life, distinctive feature which is the readiness for internal changes leading to the achievement of happiness and love.

Introduction

Smokey mirror

Three thousand years ago there were exactly the same people as you and me - people who lived near a city surrounded by mountains. One of them studied to become a healer, to comprehend the knowledge of his ancestors. But this man did not always agree with what he had to master. He felt in his very heart that there must be something more.

One day, falling asleep in a cave, he saw his own sleeping body. One night, on the eve new moon, he came out of his hiding place. The sky was clear, thousands of stars shone on it. And then something happened inside him - something that transformed his entire future life. He looked at his hands, felt his body and heard his own voice say: “I am made of light, I am made of stars.”

He looked at the stars again and realized that it was not the stars that created the light, but rather the light that created the stars. “Everything is created from light,” he said, “and the space between created things is not emptiness.” He knew: all that is is one living creature, and light is the messenger of life, which contains all the information.

This man realized that although he was created from stars, he himself was not a star. He thought: “I am what is between the stars.” And he called the stars tonals, and the light between the stars - nagual, understanding that the harmony and space between the heavenly bodies and light is created by Life, or Intention. Without Life, the tonal and nagual cannot exist. Life is the power of the Absolute, the Supreme Power, the all-creating Creator.

His discovery was this: everything that exists is an expression of one living being, which we call God. Everything is God. He came to the conclusion that human perception is nothing more than simply light perceiving light. He viewed matter as a mirror - everything is a mirror, reflecting light and creating images of this light, and the world of illusion, Sleep, is like smoke, not allowing us to see ourselves. “Our true essence is pure love, pure light,” he told himself.

This understanding changed his life. As soon as he realized who he really was, he looked around, looked at other people, at nature, and what he saw amazed him. He saw himself in everything: in every person, in every animal, in every tree, in water, in rain, in clouds, in earth. I saw that Life in various ways mixes the tonal and the nagual to create billions of its manifestations.

He understood everything in those short moments. He was filled with a thirst to act and his heart was filled with peace. I couldn’t wait to share my discovery with the world. But there weren't enough words to explain it all. He tried to tell others about this, but those around him were unable to understand him. People noticed that he had changed, that his eyes and voice radiated something beautiful. They discovered that he no longer made judgments about events or people. He became a completely different person.

He understood everyone perfectly, but no one could understand him. People believed that he was the incarnation of God, and he, listening to this, smiled and said:

"It's true. I am God. But you are also God. You and I represent the same thing. We are images of light. We are God."

But people still did not understand him.

He discovered that he was a mirror for all people, a mirror in which he could see himself. “Every person is a mirror,” he said. He saw himself in everyone, but no one saw themselves in him. He realized that people dream, but are not aware, do not understand who they really are. They could not see themselves in it, because between the mirrors there was a wall of fog or smoke. And this veil is woven from interpretations of the image of light. This is the Dream of humanity.

Now he knew that he would soon forget everything he had been taught. He wanted to remember all his visions and therefore decided to call himself the Smoky Mirror, so as not to forget that matter is a mirror, and the smoke in between is what prevents us from realizing who we really are. He said: “I am the Smoky Mirror, because I see myself in all of you, but we do not recognize each other because of the smoke between us. This smoke is the Dream, and you who sleep are the mirror.”

"It's easier to live with your eyes closed,

Everything you see is a misunderstanding..."

John Lennon

Chapter 1

Taming and Dream of the Planet

Everything you see and hear now is nothing more than a dream. Not excluding at the moment. Even when you are awake, you are dreaming.

Dreaming is the most important function of the mind, and the mind sleeps twenty-four hours a day. He sleeps when the brain sleeps, he sleeps, and when the brain is awake. The difference is that when the brain is awake, certain material coordinates arise that force us to perceive things linearly. As soon as we fall asleep, they disappear, so the dream has the property of continuously changing.

People dream all the time. Even before our birth, those who lived before us created a boundless dream around themselves, which we call the “Dream of Society,” or the Dream of the Planet. A planetary dream is a collective dream, consisting of billions of individual dreams, which together form the Dream of a family, community, city, country and, finally, the Dream of all humanity. The dream of our planet includes all kinds of social attitudes, beliefs, laws, religions, various cultures and ways of being, governments, schools, political events and holidays.

We are endowed with the innate ability to dream. People who lived before us made sure that we had exactly the same dreams as the rest of society. External sleep has many rules, and when a child is born, we capture his attention and introduce them into his consciousness. Dream society uses mom and dad, schools and religion to teach us how to dream.

Attention is the ability to discern and focus only on what we want to perceive.

We can see, hear, touch or smell millions of things at the same time, but with the help of attention, we mentally choose to perceive one or another at our own discretion. Since our childhood, the adults around us have undividedly captured our attention and, with the help of repetitions, have fixed certain information in our minds. So we learned everything we know.

Using attention, we studied the entire reality around us, the external dream. We learned how to behave in society: what to believe and not believe; what is acceptable and unacceptable; what is good and bad; what is beautiful and ugly; what is right and wrong. All this already existed: all this knowledge, rules and concepts regarding how to live in the world around us.

At school you sat at your desk and listened to what the teacher was saying. In the temple they concentrated on what the priest or church minister said. The same applies to parents, brothers and sisters: they were all trying to get your attention. In the same way, we learn to master the interest of other people, we ourselves fight for the attention of others.

Children compete to attract the attention of their parents, teachers, and friends. "Look at me! Look what I'm doing! Hey, here I am." The need for attention continues - even worsens - in adults.

An external dream captures our attention and teaches us what we should believe, starting with the language we speak. Language is a code with which people understand each other and communicate. Every letter, every word in a language is the result of some agreement. We say “a page in a book,” and the word “page” itself is the result of a contract about how to understand it. Once we begin to understand the code, our attention becomes concentrated and energy is transferred from one person to another.

We didn't choose which language to speak. Didn't choose religion or moral values- they existed even before we were born. We have never had the opportunity to decide for ourselves what to believe or not believe. We did not take part in the development of the most insignificant of such agreements. They didn't even choose their own name.

In childhood, we do not have the opportunity to choose our faith; we simply have to agree with the information transmitted by others from the Planetary Dream. The only way to save information is through agreement. An external dream can attract attention, but if we do not agree with the information we receive, we do not retain it. As soon as a person agrees, he begins to trust, and this is already called “faith.” To believe, you need to trust unconditionally.

We learn this in childhood. Children believe everything that adults say, agree with them, and their faith is so strong that it itself internal structure completely controls the Dream of Life. We did not choose these beliefs, we could even rebel against them, but we were not strong enough for such a rebellion to win. And as a result of the agreement, we approve and accept other people's beliefs.

I call this process the domestication of human beings. With its help we learn to live and dream. In the process of human adaptation, information from external sleep is transferred to internal sleep, building a system of beliefs. First, the child is taught what and how to call it: mom, dad, milk, bottle. Day after day, at home, at school, in church, on TV, he is told how to live, what behavior is considered acceptable. An external dream teaches how to become a human being. We have general idea that there is a “woman” and a “man”. In the same way we learn to judge ourselves, judge other people, judge our neighbors.

The process of taming children occurs in the same way as taming a dog, cat or any other animal. In order to train a dog, we punish or reward him. We raise our beloved children in the same way as we train a pet: with the help of a system of punishments and rewards. When a child does what his parents want him to do, he is told: “good boy” or “ good girl". If she doesn't, she's a "bad girl" or a "bad boy."

When children break the rules, they are scolded, when they obey, they are praised. We were scolded and encouraged many times a day. Over time, a person begins to fear not receiving rewards or being punished. The reward comes from attention from parents or other people, such as siblings, teachers, friends. We quickly develop a need to attract the attention of others in order to receive a reward.

Reward feels good and the person continues to do what they want to do to get the reward. Out of fear of punishment or deprivation of reward, we begin to pretend to be completely different people - just to please someone, to be nice. We try to please mother and father, teachers at school, priest in church - this is how the masquerade begins. We pretend to be other people because we are afraid of being rejected.

The fear of being rejected transforms into the fear of not being good enough. Ultimately, a person changes radically. Simply copies the beliefs of mommy, daddy, society, religion.

All our normal tendencies are lost in the process of domestication. When we grow up and begin to understand things, we learn the word “no.” Adults say: “Do this, don’t do that.”

We rise up and say: "No!" We rise up because we defend personal freedom. The child wants to be himself, but he is still very small, and adults are big and strong. Over time, he becomes afraid because he knows that whenever he does something wrong, he will be punished.

The power of domestication is so great that at a certain point a person no longer needs anyone to train him. So that mother, father, school or church “domesticate” us. We have been trained so well that we are becoming our own trainers. We are self-adapting animals.

From now on, we can self-adapt to the structure of beliefs, using the same system of punishments and rewards. A person punishes himself when he does not follow the rules of a belief system, rewards himself when he considers himself " good boy" or "good girl".

The structure of faith is similar to the Code of Laws that regulate the work of our mind. Questions are excluded: what is written in the Code is the truth. The Code of Laws also substantiates a person’s judgments, even if they contradict his inner essence. Even ethical norms that resemble the Ten Commandments are programmed into our brains during the domestication process. Gradually, these agreements fall into the Code of Laws that govern our sleep.

There is something in the human mind that judges everyone and everything, including the weather, dogs, cats, literally everything. The Inner Judge uses the Code of Laws to evaluate reality, what we do and don't do, what we think and don't think, what we feel and what we don't feel.

Everything is subject to the tyranny of this Judge. Whenever we do something that goes against the Code, the Inner Judge says we are guilty, we should be punished, we should be ashamed. This happens every day throughout our lives.

There is another part of a person that is constantly the object of judgment - the Victim. She is responsible for everything; both guilt and shame fall on her. This is that part of ourselves that says: “Poor me, poor: I’m not good enough, smart enough, attractive enough, I’m not worthy of love, I’m untalented.” The Competent Judge agrees and says, “Yes, you are not good enough.”

All of these processes are based on a belief system that we did not choose. They are so strong that even years later, when our ideas change and we try to make our own decisions, we find that this system of attitudes still controls our lives.

Anything that is against the Code of Laws will cause a tickling sensation in your solar plexus, and that sensation is fear. When you violate the Code, emotional wounds become apparent, and your reaction to this is to create emotional poison.

Since the contents of the Code of Laws must be true, everything contrary to your faith makes you feel dangerous and vulnerable. After all, even if the Code is wrong, it still gives rise to a feeling of security.

Therefore, it will take a lot of courage for a person to challenge his own beliefs. After all, even knowing that we did not choose them, we realize: it is also true that we agreed with them.

The influence of the agreement is so strong that, even though we understand the falsity of its entire concept, we feel guilty and ashamed every time we go against the rules.

Just as the government has a code of laws that governs the Dream of Society, our belief system is a Code of Laws that governs our in my own sleep. All these rules exist in consciousness, we believe in them, and the Inner Judge justifies everything with their help. He makes a decision, and the Victim feels guilty and is punished.

But who says that there is justice in this dream?

True justice makes you pay only once for each mistake.

True injustice forces you to pay again and again for every mistake.

How many times do we pay for one mistake? Thousands. Man is the only animal on earth that pays a thousand times for the same mistake.

The rest pay for the mistake only once. But not us. We have a powerful memory. A person stumbles, judges, finds himself guilty - and punishes. If justice exists, then once should be enough - there is no need to repeat. We, remembering, condemn ourselves, again find ourselves guilty and reproach ourselves again, again and again.

The husband or wife will definitely remind us of the mistake so that we can once again condemn ourselves, punish ourselves, and admit ourselves guilty. Is this fair?

How many times do we make our partner, children, parents pay for the same mistake? Every time we remember a mistake, we blame them again and transfer all the emotional poison that has accumulated in us from the injustice, and then we make them responsible again for the same mistake. Is this fair?

The judge in our head is mistaken, because the system of faith, the Code of Laws, are erroneous. The dream is built on a false law. Ninety-five percent of the beliefs that people hold in their minds are lies; we suffer because we believe in him.

It is obvious that in dreams humanity suffers, lives in fear, and creates emotional dramas. External sleep is unpleasant; this is a dream about violence, fear, war, injustice. People have different dreams, but in a global sense they are a complete nightmare.

One look at human society is enough to understand how difficult it is to live in it when it is ruled by fear. All over the world we see human suffering, anger, revenge, drug addiction, violence, widespread injustice. IN different countries this manifests itself in different ways around the world, but everywhere external sleep ruled by fear.

If we compare the Dream of human society with the descriptions of the underworld that exist in all religions of the world, we will see that they are identical.

Religions say that hell is a place of punishment, fear, pain, suffering, a place where you are consumed by fire. Its flame is generated by emotions coming from fear. Whenever we feel anger, jealousy, envy, hatred, we feel a fire burning within us.

People live in an infernal sleep.

If we consider hell as a state of mind, then all around us is pure inferno. We are threatened that if we do not fulfill the Commandments, we will end up in hell. Bad news! We are already in hell, including those who tell us about it. A person cannot condemn another person to hell, because we are already in hell. Of course, people can make hell even worse. But - only if we allow it to happen.

Everyone has his own dream, and, like the Dream of society, it is usually governed by fear. In our own lives we learn to have a hellish dream. Of course, the same fears manifest themselves differently in each person, but everyone experiences anger, jealousy, hatred, envy and other negative emotions. Our sleep can turn into a continuous nightmare in which we suffer and live in a state of perpetual fear. Why do we need nightmares when we can enjoy a pleasant sleep?

All people seek truth, justice, beauty. We are eternal seekers of truth because we believe only in the lies that we have stored in our own minds.

We seek justice because there is no justice in our belief system.

We are always in search of beauty, because no matter how beautiful a person is, we do not believe that beauty is always inherent in him.

We keep searching and searching outside, while everything already exists within ourselves. There is no need to specifically seek any truth. Everywhere you look, it is everywhere, but the agreements and beliefs that we keep in our heads do not allow us to see it.

We are blind and therefore do not see the truth. And what blinds us are the false beliefs that we keep in our own heads. We need to be right and others wrong. We trust what we believe, and our beliefs condemn us to suffering. We live as if in darkness, not seeing beyond our own nose. We are in a surreal fog.

This fog is a dream, your own dream of life, what you believe in, your ideas about yourself, agreements with other people, with yourself, even with God.

Your consciousness is a fog, which the Toltecs called mitote (pronounced MIH-TOE"-TAY).

The mind is a dream where thousands of people speak at the same time and no one understands each other. This state of human consciousness is a major mitote, and it prevents people from discerning their essence.

In India it is called mitote maya, which means illusion. This is a person’s idea of ​​his “I”.

Mitote is what you believe about yourself and the world, about all the ideas and algorithms of your consciousness. We are unable to discern our own essence, to see that we are not free.

This is why people resist life. Most of all they are afraid to live. The most important fear is not death, but the risk of staying alive: the risk of living and expressing your essence. People are most afraid of being themselves. We have learned to live according to the wishes of other people, according to other people's views on things, because we are afraid that we will not be accepted, that we are not good enough for someone.

During the adaptation process, a person, in an effort to become better, creates an image of perfection. The idea of ​​what someone should be like to be accepted. We especially try to please those who love us - mother and father, brothers and sisters, priest and teacher. Wanting to please them, we create an ideal, but do not correspond to it. We create an image, but it is devoid of reality. From this point of view, we will never achieve perfection. Never!

By not being perfect, we deny ourselves. And the level of such self-rejection depends on how successful those around us are in destroying our integrity. After "domestication" it is no longer a question of being good enough for someone. We are not good enough for ourselves because we do not live up to our own ideas of perfection. We cannot forgive ourselves for not becoming what we would like to be - or, more precisely, what we should have become in accordance with our beliefs. We cannot forgive ourselves for imperfections.

We know that we do not correspond to who we should be according to our faith, and hence the feeling of falsehood, disappointment, and dishonor. We try to hide, pretending to be completely different people. As a result, we feel inadequate and put on a mask so that others won’t notice.

We are very afraid that someone will see that we are not who we say we are. And we judge others according to our ideas of perfection, and, naturally, these “others” do not correspond to it.

We put ourselves down to please others. We even physically harm our own body, just to be accepted. Teenagers use drugs to avoid being rejected by their peers. They don't know that they are denying themselves. Rejected because they are not what they pretend to be. They have got something into their heads, but they cannot achieve it, and hence the feeling of shame and guilt. People endlessly punish themselves for not being what they think they should be. They judge themselves and use others to be judged.

More often than others, we condemn ourselves, but the Judge, the Victim and the belief system force us to do this. Of course, there are people who talk about how their husband or wife, mother or father judges them, but you know that we judge ourselves much more.

We are our own strictest judges. If we make a mistake in public, we try to deny the mistake and hush it up. But as soon as we are left alone with ourselves, the Judge becomes unusually strong, the guilt is enormous, and we feel stupid, worthless, unworthy.

In your entire life, no one has judged you as much as you have. People around you can't do this any more than you can. If someone oversteps your limit, you'll likely just walk away. But if a person judges you a little less than you do yourself, you will stay with him and tolerate him endlessly.

If you judge yourself excessively, you even allow yourself to be beaten, insulted, and trampled into the dirt. Why? Because your belief system says, "I deserve this. This person is doing me a favor by staying with me. I am not worthy of love and respect. I am not good enough."

Everyone needs to be accepted and loved by those around them, but we usually don’t feel sorry for ourselves. The more we are able to love ourselves, the less susceptible we are to self-judgment, the reason for which is self-rejection. Rejection is motivated by the image of unattainable perfection. Our ideal is the reason for selflessness; therefore, we do not accept ourselves and others as they are.

Prelude to a new dream

You have a thousand agreements and agreements with yourself, the people around you, your own life dream, God, society, parents, spouse, and children. But the most important of them are the very first ones - with ourselves. In these agreements, you tell yourself who you are, what you feel, what you believe, and how you should behave. This is how personality is formed.

The agreements say: “This is who I am. This is what I believe in. I can do this, but I can’t do that. This is real, but this is a fantasy; this is possible, but this is not.”

Taken separately, one agreement does not create any special problems, but we have many of them, and this makes us suffer, makes us losers. If you want to live a full and happy life, you must find the courage to break these fear-based agreements that claim your personal power. Those agreements that are based on fear require enormous effort from us, and those that are based on love help to maintain energy and even increase it.

Any person from birth has a certain personal strength, which is restored every time during rest. Unfortunately, we spend it first on creating agreements and then on implementing them. All these arrangements dissipate our energy, and as a result a person feels powerless. We only have enough strength for everyday survival, since most of it is spent on fulfilling agreements that do not release us from the trap of Planetary Sleep. How can we transform the dream of our life when we lack the strength to change even the most insignificant agreement?

When we see that such agreements govern our lives, and we do not like our dream, we need to change the agreements. When we're ready, here are four new agreements to help us let go of the fear-based, energy-sapping ones. By breaking such an agreement, a person each time renews the energy spent on its creation. If you are willing to accept the four new agreements, they will give you enough power to change the entire system of the old ones.

It will take a huge amount of will to accept these Four Agreements, but if you can decide to start acting in accordance with them, then life will simply be transformed. You will see how all this hellish drama will dissipate. Instead of living in an infernal dream, you create a new dream - your own heavenly dream.

Chapter 2

First Agreement

Your word must be impeccable

The First Agreement is the most important and therefore the most difficult to fulfill. It is so important that it allows you to rise to that level of existence that I call heaven on earth.

The first Agreement is that: Your word must be impeccable.

It sounds very simple, but it is incredibly powerful.

Why are such demands placed on the word? The word is a force that you create yourself. Your word is a gift that comes directly from God. Regarding the creation of the Universe, the Gospel of John says: “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” Through words you express creative energy. The existence of all things is created with the participation of the word. Whatever language you speak, your intentions are expressed through words. What you see in a dream, what you feel, what you really are - everything is embodied in words.

A word is not just a sound or a graphic symbol. The word is power, a powerful ability for a person to express himself and communicate, think - and thus create the events of his life.

People can talk. No other animal on Earth is capable of this. The word is man's most powerful tool; This magic instrument. But, like a double-edged sword, it can either give birth to an amazingly beautiful dream or destroy everything around. One facet is the abuse of words, which creates real hell. The other is the precision of the word, creating beauty, love and paradise on earth. Depending on how it is used, a word can liberate or enslave. It is difficult to imagine the full power of the word.

Any spell is based on a word. It is magical in itself, but its abuse is black magic.

The word is so powerful that it can change the lives or destroy millions of people. Once upon a time, one person in Germany used words to manipulate an entire state with a fairly high level of education of its citizens. With the power of his speeches, he plunged the country into a world war. Convinced people to commit unheard of atrocities. With a word, he fueled human fear, and, like a huge explosion, murder and war engulfed the whole world. People destroyed people because they were afraid of each other. For centuries to come, humanity will remember Hitler's word, based on beliefs and agreements born of fear.

The human mind is fertile ground. Opinions, ideas, concepts are seeds. You throw a seed, a thought, into the ground, and it sprouts. The Word is like a seed, and human mind extraordinarily fertile! The only difficulty is that it is often used to sow the seeds of fear.

The mind of any person is fertile, but only for those seeds that he is ready to accept. Therefore, it is so important to see what kind of seeds the soil of our mind is cultivated for, and to prepare it for the seeds of love.

Hitler spread fear; Its abundant harvest caused catastrophic destruction. Remembering the formidable power of the word, we cannot help but realize: what comes out of our mouths has colossal power. Once fear or doubt takes root in your mind, a whole series of dramatic events can happen.

The word is like witchcraft, and people use it like black magicians, thoughtlessly casting spells on each other.

Every person is a magician, and he can either cast a spell on someone or remove a spell. Expressing our judgments and views, we constantly resort to spells.

For example, I meet a friend and express to him a thought that has just popped into my head. I say: “Hmm! Your complexion is like that of a potential cancer patient.” If he listens to me and agrees with this, he will have cancer within a year. This is the power of the word.

During the process of "domesticating" you, your parents and siblings said things about you without even thinking about it. You listen to their opinion, and fears constantly overcome you: but I really am a bad swimmer, a useless athlete, and a clumsy writer.

Having captured attention, the word is introduced into consciousness and changes the system of attitudes for the better or for the worse.

Here's another example: you believed that you were stupid, and this thought has been sitting in you for as long as you can remember. This agreement is a tricky thing: there are many ways to make you believe that you are stupid. You do something and at the same time you think: “Of course, I would like to be smart, but I’m stupid, otherwise I wouldn’t do this.” There may be many thoughts in our heads, but it is precisely this belief in our own thoughtlessness that has become entangled, and all day long we only think about it.

Annotation:
This little book can completely change your life. Try to follow the Four New Agreements by changing the old agreements that have been strangling your life - the agreements imposed on us by the Sleep of the planet, the Sleep of society, the Sleep of the family - and the hellish dream in which almost all of us live will turn into a Heavenly Dream. Toltec don Miguel Ruiz, The nagual of a lineage other than Castaneda has concentrated all the wisdom of the Toltecs in this small message, and everyone, literally every one of us, can use it without fear. Don Miguel Ruiz was born and raised in a family of healers in rural Mexico; his mother was a curandera (healer), and his grandfather was a nagual (shaman). The family hoped that Miguel would master their ancient heritage of teaching and healing people, and contribute to the esoteric science of the Toltecs. However, Miguel was fascinated by modern life, and he chose medical school to become a surgeon. But one day he almost died, and this incident radically changed his life. One late evening in the early seventies, he fell asleep behind the wheel of his car. I woke up the moment the car crashed into a concrete wall. Don Miguel remembers that he could not feel his body when he pulled his two friends out of the wrecked car. This event stunned him, and he began to deal with his own thoughts. Miguel dedicated himself to mastering the ancient wisdom of his ancestors, diligently learning from his mother and undergoing training with a shaman in the Mexican desert. In the dream, he received instructions from his late grandfather. According to the Toltec tradition, the Nagual instructs a person on the path of personal freedom. Don Miguel Ruiz - Nagual of the Eagle Knight line; He devoted his entire life to spreading the teachings of the ancient Toltecs. In The Four Agreements, Don Miguel Ruiz reveals the source of beliefs that rob people of joy and condemn them to unnecessary suffering. Based on the ancient wisdom of the Toltecs, the "Four Agreements" offer rules of behavior that open up enormous opportunities for rapid change in life in order to find freedom, true happiness and love. Thousands of years ago, the Toltecs were known throughout southern Mexico as the "people of knowledge." Anthropologists speak of the Toltecs as a nation or race, but in reality they were scientists and artists who created their community to explore and preserve the spiritual knowledge and customs of the ancients. They came together as masters (Naguals) and disciples in Teotihuacan, an ancient city of pyramids near Mexico City known as “The Place Where Man Becomes God.” For thousands of years, the Naguals had to hide the wisdom of their ancestors and shroud its existence in mystery. European conquests and the open abuse of their abilities by some disciples forced traditional knowledge to be protected from those who were not prepared to use it wisely or who might deliberately use it for their own gain. Fortunately, the esoteric knowledge of the Toltecs was embodied and passed down from generation to generation by several lines of Naguals that are different in their “pedigree.” Although all this remained shrouded in secrecy for hundreds of years, ancient prophecies predicted that the time would come when it would be necessary to return ancient wisdom. Now Don Miguel Ruiz, the Nagual of the Eagle Knight lineage, under the direction of his teachers, was to share with us the Toltec teachings, which could have a huge impact on the modern world. Toltec knowledge, like all sacred esoteric traditions throughout the world, is based on the fundamental unity of truth. It is by no means a religion, but the Toltec tradition honors all spiritual teachers who have ever taught on Earth. She also talks about the spirit, but it is more about a way of life, the hallmark of which is the readiness for internal changes leading to the achievement of happiness and love.

Massive interest in the traditional beliefs and rituals of the American Indians, characteristic of the New Age movement, began with the works of the American writer, anthropologist and ethnographer Carlos Castaneda. In 1968, Castaneda’s book “The Teachings of Don Juan” was published, which gained enormous popularity among the hippie generation.

Thirty years later, a new wave of interest in the heritage of the Indians arose in connection with the work of Don Miguel Ruiz. The Four Agreements was first published in the United States in 1997. In America, they were actively promoted in her talk show by TV presenter Oprah Winfrey, recognized as the most influential woman in the United States. The book became a success, and its author took care to make his “agreements” a well-known brand. Now the book has been published in Russia.

What are we talking about? The point of these agreements is to destroy limiting prejudices. They develop from childhood, distorting reality and causing suffering. Our perception is influenced by several factors. We internalize an erroneous image of ourselves due to our upbringing, cultural characteristics that are responsible for ideas about what is fair and unfair, beautiful and ugly. We can also be hindered by personal projections: “I must be good,” “I must succeed.”

“These ideas reproduce the principles of cognitive therapy, according to which the inability to detach or an excessive desire to generalize often become traps,” says psychiatrist Francois Thioli. “Some of Miguel Ruiz’s ideas are consonant with Christian commandments, some are close to Buddhism,” says psychotherapist Ekaterina Zhornyak. “It is no coincidence that there are exactly four agreements: in Buddhism there are four noble truths, in Christianity there are four evangelists, and the Argentine writer Jorge Luis Borges believed that there are only four plots in literature.”

What attracts you to this book? The author's talent is in explaining the four agreements in simple terms and with concrete examples. You don't have to be an initiate to put them into practice. Miguel Ruiz doesn't force anything. He says that if he can master these principles, then everyone else can do it.

Who are the Toltecs?

The warlike Toltec tribe lived in Latin America, in what is now Mexico, in the years 1000-1300. Based on legends and excavations, this people excelled in the arts and architecture. The Toltecs passed on their wisdom through four agreements. Proudly accepting this heritage, the Aztecs carried the knowledge and philosophy of the Toltecs to the present day.

First Agreement: “Let your word be impeccable”

“Speak directly and honestly. Say only what you really mean. Don't say things that could be used against you or spread gossip about others. Use the power of words to achieve truth and love."

“Miguel Ruiz reminds us of the power of words over the psyche,” explains clinical psychologist Olivier Perrault. “Each of us has preserved in our memory hurtful parental phrases.” We often forget that words affect reality. “Tell a child that he is chubby, and he will feel fat for the rest of his life,” says Olivier Perrault.

“A lie destroys a person, he ceases to understand who he is and who those around him are,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “Lies are detrimental to relationships with loved ones - under its influence, relationships gradually collapse.”

How to use it? Maintain moderation in speech: do not speak too much or too quickly. According to Miguel Ruiz, it all starts with inner speech addressed to oneself. Not only criticism and condemnation of others, but also the continuous “I can’t do it,” “I’m not good for anything,” “I look bad” - all this is negativity that clogs our mentality. Meanwhile, these are just projections, images that arise in response to ideas about what others expect from us.

“We need to pause and realize what exactly we are going to say and why we want to say this,” suggests Ekaterina Zhornyak. Conclusion: let's talk less, but truly, emphasizing the best - both in us and in others.

Agreement Two: “Don’t Take It Personally”

“Other people’s affairs do not concern you. Everything people say or do is a projection of their own reality. If you develop immunity to the views and actions of others, you can avoid needless suffering.”

The words and actions of another do not affect us directly. “They belong to another,” confirms Olivier Perrault, “because they are an expression of his own beliefs. It is someone else’s idea of ​​you, not yours.”

Are you being criticized? Or do they praise? “There is no point in worrying too much about what other people think,” says Ekaterina Zhornyak. “Although it is also unreasonable to ignore their experiences, pretending that we have nothing to do with it at all.” In the same way, the events that happen to us are not always a direct response to our actions. According to Miguel Ruiz, we need to free ourselves from egocentrism, which makes us believe that what is happening around us is a consequence of our actions or thoughts. Our “selfhood” locks us into illusions. And thus supports suffering.

How to use it? It's less about stoicism and more about being able to step back. If we take responsibility for something that does not apply to us, fear, anger or sadness inevitably arise - this is a standard defensive reaction. “If the other person is tired or in a bad mood, there is no need to take it personally, get offended and slam the door,” warns Ekaterina Zhornyak. The purpose of this agreement is to leave the other fully responsible for his words and actions and not interfere. Often this is enough to defuse the situation.

Agreement Three: "Don't Make Assumptions"

“Find the courage to ask questions when there is a misunderstanding and to express what you really want to express. When communicating with others, strive for maximum clarity to avoid misunderstandings, frustration and suffering.”

“This happens often,” admits Olivier Perrault. “We assume, we build hypotheses, and in the end we believe them.” A friend didn’t say hello to us this morning, and we imagine that he’s angry with us! Miguel Ruiz considers it "emotional poison." To get rid of it, he suggests learning to clarify and share doubts. “To understand others, you need the ability to ask questions and the desire to hear a person,” notes Ekaterina Zhornyak.

How to use it? You need to realize that an assumption is a product of thoughts. As soon as we begin to sincerely believe in what was just a hypothesis (“He is angry with me”), we begin to “pressure” the other with our behavior. This becomes a source of anxiety and stress.

Agreement Four: “Try to Do Your Best”

“Your opportunities are not always the same: it is one thing when you are healthy, another thing when you are sick or upset. Under any circumstances, make every effort, and you will not feel reproaches, regrets or reproaches against yourself.”

“This rule follows from the previous ones,” states Olivier Perrault. “When you take on too much, you become exhausted and harm yourself.” “But if you do less than you can, then you doom yourself to frustration, regret and guilt,” adds Ekaterina Zhornyak. The goal is to find balance.

How to use it? It is unknown what “best” means at the moment. According to Miguel Ruiz, there are days when the best thing to do is to stay in bed. In any case, Ekaterina Zhornyak emphasizes, “the worst trap is perfectionism, when what comes to the fore is not the task itself, but the desire to do it flawlessly and the constant feeling that little has been done and poorly.” One way to avoid this feeling is to replace “I have to do this” with “I can do this.” As Olivier Perrault argues, “this way you can take ownership of your goal and not worry about the expectations of others.”

About the author of the four agreements

Born in 1952 in Mexico, into a family of healers. He worked as a neurosurgeon, but the experience of clinical death in 1970 changed his life. After this, he turns to the wisdom of his Toltec ancestors, becomes a shaman and takes on the mission of communicating this wisdom to as many people as possible. After many years of teaching and writing, he passed the baton to his son José Luis Ruiz in 2002. The Four Agreements remains his main book.

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