We talked with Alexander Andriyanov - poet, bard, church choirmaster, composer - by email.
This is what his wife Natalya advised: Due to his serious illness, Alexander finds it difficult to speak. But after we corresponded for a long time, clarifying the details of his life and semantic shades, our correspondent Svetlana ULYANOVA nevertheless visited him.
Natalya opened it for me. On the threshold it seemed that she was already very many years old, but when I saw her eyes in the twilight of the corridor, I immediately changed my mind. The same thing happened when meeting Alexander - despite his 47 years, he has the face of a youth, clear blue eyes. What else? A stroller that can barely accommodate this big man, his frozen legs and slow movements. Crowded bookshelves, a guitar, photographs, many icons in the red corner, and a computer closer to the window. The whole environment shakes a little when a tram passes by.
We just drank tea and talked.
Family creativity
Alexander, what kind of family did you grow up in?
- My family is the most ordinary, worker-peasant, from the Smolensk outback: my father is a blacksmith at a closed military factory, my mother is a storekeeper from the same factory, although she graduated from a pedagogical college. He inherited contemplation from his mother, and a poetic and musical gift from his father. As a child, I dreamed of becoming a sailor. He loved to sing and learned poetry easily. Otherwise, like all boys - tinker, make noise, play siskin.
The strongest childhood impression is associated with death. Uncle Yegor lived in our communal apartment - skinny, stooped, in the same faded tunic. For some reason I associated his laughter with the sound of peeling potatoes, so I said: “ Potato peelings" When he died, they laid him on the table, on a white tablecloth. The door to his room was open, and he lay there, motionless, skinny, in his constant tunic. And I was struck by the thought that he would never laugh his potato laugh again...
- When did you start writing poetry and songs? And when were they easiest to write?
- I wrote my first poem in second grade on the way from school: “I’m walking home from school slowly, / And the dust swirls under my feet. / The foliage of the mighty trees is thinning / And slowly settling on the ground...”
And the ninth wave of my creativity occurred in 1980-1984. I sang then mainly in the apartments of the members of Edmund Iodkovsky’s literary association. A dissident public gathered there: poets, writers, philosophers, bards... My songs were successful, and this inspired me. I was young and very ambitious. So, in two years (1981-1983) about seventy songs appeared.
After meeting my future wife Natasha, we began playing my and her songs as a duet. Occasionally we were invited to perform at cultural centers, and twice we attended KSP festivals. For all my ambition, I was extremely self-confident and lazy. Obviously, this played a role in his failed bardic career. Coming to the temple also served as an obstacle to this.
The last surge was caused by my shuttering from 2000 to 2002. True, I wrote only from time to time, and not under the influence of an internal impulse, but of external reasons. In general, I loved writing for a date, event, birthday...
Now I haven't written anything for over a year. This is due to the steady development of my disease. The emotional richness that is required for full-blooded creativity is replaced by a painful drought, and this is the end of poetry.
Currently I am working in the genre of film poetry: I create music videos for my poems, well-read by the dramatic actor Grigory Livshits. They not only sound, you can also see them. True, so far only on the player on my computer. As far as I know, none of the poets do this. But since I live in seclusion, I may not know a lot.
On April 26, my first creative evening took place at the Orthodox cafe-club “Yamskoye Pole,” where these video clips were shown and Grigory Livshits read my new poems. My artist friend Vadim Kotov defined this genre as an author's installation.
- Where do you get new impressions for creativity?
- I don’t get anything anymore. Everything is exhausted.
- Does your wife continue her work?
- Yes, but at the moment all her strength is spent on supporting two disabled people: me and her mother.
In general, Natasha believes that she fully participates in my work. She sometimes says that she wrote everything that I wrote. Moreover, without her editorial talent and energy, my books would not exist. After all, she conducted all external contacts with printers and publishers herself. What about shooting video material with a movie camera, which I then use to realize creative ideas? She too. So we have a creative tandem, the best that spouses can have. I love her - I allow her to interfere in the process of my creativity and even listen to her comments.
“For herself” Natasha is engaged in breeding British cats. She has a registered nursery. We have two cats and two cats living at home. Natasha loves them and plays with them, this is her “outlet” from tedious household chores.
Feeling of another world
Can you name the main moments in your life on the path to faith?
- Meeting with my wife Natalia while visiting our mutual friend. I sang there with a guitar. I was 26 years old. Her godmother I sang in the church choir - that’s how I first got to the choir. Meetings with Natasha's friends, believers. She grew up in an atheistic family, but her great-grandmother, judging by the stories, was very religious. Obviously, somehow the innate sense of another world was genetically transmitted.
Books came later. In those years there was no such Orthodox variety; all literature was circulated in a photocopier, and more and more foreign publications.
There were trips to Pskov Pechory. There was Natasha’s godmother’s house in the village of Tivikovo. Visit to the Pskov-Pechora Monastery. Nature, magnificent northern nature! The place itself was created for contemplation and prayer. I still remember the tart smell of a sun-warmed pine forest.
-What were you looking for in the Church?
- There was no clear and precise goal then. I was simply drawn there by the inevitability of spiritual formation.
Nothing was clear: neither the language, nor church ethics, nor the osmoconciliation of the Octoechos, nor the terminology. All the time I was afraid of doing something wrong, of offending someone... The dissimilarity, the difference between church life and the world around us was clear, though not clearly, at the level of sensation. This unusualness was both attractive and alarming.
But I was a singer - a lot of work, there was no time for rushing and crises. I left the guitar - I didn’t want to combine it: every neophyte jealously demands all the attention of “the only one who needs it.”
I came to the temple in 1986 - to the Church of the Nativity in Izmailovo. Then he sang in the St. Nicholas Church (Bronnitsy station), in the everyday choir of the Yelokhovsky Cathedral, in the Church of the Sign Holy Mother of God and several other temples. Last years I chose them based on their proximity to home.
Why did you start writing liturgical music? After all, everything necessary to be performed in the church has probably already been written a long time ago?
- There was a “social order” for singers from my last church. Zosima and Savvatiya. The girls complained about the lack of simple antiphons, so I composed them for them. And then I got carried away and wrote the Liturgy on a synthesizer. Part of it - “Cherubic”, “Mercy of the World”, “Worthy” - was performed by a quartet from the Kazan Cathedral.
In general, I am more of a songwriter than a church composer. And education is not enough for serious work. Behind me is an unfinished secondary music school in accordion class and self-study. So church hymns they were written not according to rules, but by ear.
- Are your poems and songs written before coming to faith very different from those written after?
- With coming to faith, the temptation arises to write on religious subjects, to write about God, the Church, faith, prayer, without having either inspiration or sufficient knowledge about the subject. This is exactly what happened to me. I wrote mediocre poetry, stuffed with false religious animation and pseudo-piety. If you wish, you can easily find such places in my poems.
During this period, it seems that the theme itself compensates for all shortcomings. But this is an illusion. When the ardor of the convert cools down, the healthy forces of the body take over, and normal creativity begins, with natural reaction and intonation.
- Does a creative believer develop conscious internal censorship, certain “filters”?
- Of course, there are “filters”. But they are more of an aesthetic than an ethical nature. The use of literary cliches and common expressions is unaesthetic. The term "believer" creative person” reminds me a lot of “socialist realism”. Well, faith has nothing to do with talent! It modifies worldview, not creativity. The question “what to write about?” or “what not to write about?” does not exist for the artist. But “how to write?” - depends on both skill and worldview. This can be considered censorship.
Metaphysics of illness
Many people fear long-term illness because they are afraid of being a burden. Is this fear a manifestation of love for one's neighbor?
- In my opinion, this is mainly due to inescapable egoism. When a person is able to provide help, a service, he involuntarily elevates himself above the one to whom this help is provided (this own experience, for others it may be different). I have always loved to help and was very reluctant to accept help. The disability complex affected, compensating for which, a person strives for super-independence.
When a person is helpless, it is very difficult to learn to accept other people's help without giving anything in return, except thanksgiving prayer. The pretext “not to bother your neighbors” is a reluctance to learn humility, to belittle one’s self. Reluctance to part with one’s own miserable little world of fictitious self-sufficiency. And the Lord graciously allows all this to be overcome in illness.
However, when near loving people, there is no such fear. Love conquers fear.
- How is your day?
- The hardest time is morning. The iron muscles refuse to obey, every movement is an effort of will. Then a wheelchair, breakfast at the computer, watching a TV program and catching those programs where the video material needed for my poetry clips is likely to be found. In parallel, editing and editing of already collected video material.
Around 15.00, my wife or her assistant helps me get out of the stroller, sit on a chair near the bed, and only then I move to the bed in my arms.
My bed deserves a mention. By left hand I have a rotary lever with a locking handle, on the right there is a curved metal handrail along the sofa. On top there is a metal tube over the entire bed. To turn from side to side or sit down, I need to grab these devices, as my legs don’t obey me at all. On top of the ceiling there is another pipe with a suspended electric winch, in case you can’t get up from the chair on your own, resting your knees on the edge of the sofa and holding on to the pipe above it. I rest for an hour.
After rest - lunch and work until 20.00. Once again I go to rest. At 22.00 I get up for the last time and have dinner. Thus, the whole day is spent at the computer.
Illness is often a test of faith - people begin to murmur against God and doubt His mercy. Did this happen to you too? How do you overcome this?
- I grumbled, I grumble and, obviously, I will grumble. To rise above nature, you need strong faith. Obviously, I don't have it. Creativity saves, but it is also God’s gift.
When a person lives hopelessly within four walls, experiencing the constant pressure of illness, taken out of the usual context of everyday vanity, the center of gravity of self-awareness inevitably changes. There is a danger of personal collapse, of becoming isolated on one’s experiences and needs. The antidote is in the accumulated religious experience and creativity, to the best of one’s ability. But the same disease is the best censor of all falsehood, play and beauty in verse. In this regard, hard-won poetry is stronger and purer than the work of gifted but healthy poets.
- How to get sick so as not to start feeling sorry for yourself or being offended by the whole world?
- Judge for yourself, is the world to blame for my plight? So why be offended by him? This method helps me.
- What did you learn about life during the years of forced seclusion that you had no idea about before?
- I learned that people are mostly very forgetful. I also learned that no one can truly understand a sick person - this condition must be experienced. I learned about the futility of human ambition. Although it is a powerful stimulus for creativity, without gift and inspiration it is like a sail without wind. I also learned that it is easy to pray when you are strong and healthy, but difficult when you lose your strength and your soul dries up. But it is impossible to tell from these states who God justifies and who He judges. I learned that nothing comforts a patient more than simple human sympathy and interest in his personality... But a book needs to be written about this!
What help does your family need right now?
“What I need most is a reliable, experienced housewife who can look after me in Natalya’s absence. I need help getting out of the stroller, getting into bed, feeding, in general, household things. The Lord sent us such a person, very kind woman 56 years old, who worked for us for six months for Christ’s sake. But she went to her sister in the village. So, if help comes in the form of an experienced, non-discreet housekeeper, we will accept it with gratitude. 
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I grew up wild and listened to songs, That the wind sang in the wild. If there were no illness, I wish I could hang and mature. God raised me over the abyss And corrected my ways. Took away everything unnecessary I left everything useful. ***
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Icons are small doors. They invite us into a different life. It is given to enter through them according to our faith: Some are allowed in, while others are prevented. Icons are bright windows, And in each of them the divine face shines: He will look sternly, then he will smile, That wonderful humility reveals. To go through the gilded paint to them, But human strength is so insignificant, And we only look at the halos from afar, We light lamps and put candles. But a miracle comes from a glance On these faces breathing with the Spirit. And there is consolation, and no words are needed, It’s sweet and easy for the heart to pray! |
Thank you | One two three four... One two three four - There is happiness in the world. He lives in an apartment "17", that is, here. One two three four - Husband, mother-in-law and wife Live in love and peace How should a family live? One two three four - And our furry beast, What's jumping around the apartment? And climbs on the door. Son-in-law, daughter, mother, cat - Four creatures. A little bit of reality But more magic. It’s worth it, and thank God, Not divided inside Our home, a small ark, We agree that he is strong. One two three four - It's not bad for us to live like this. Let the storms howl in the world - We won't bother! |
Photo by Vyacheslav LAGUTKIN
WITH Fishing on Meat Week
(About the Last Judgment)
(Second Coming of the Lord)
Ev. from Matt. Zach. 106.
Ch. 25. art. 31-46.
Archimandrite Vasily (Pronin) (09/08/1911-01/05/1997)
N The end of winter is approaching, and at the same time the end of the world is remembered. The annual circle is similar to the whole year. The end of the whole world is remembered, and at the same time the Last Judgment, which will be before the end. The entire history of mankind seems to pass before our eyes. How long life on earth will last, the Lord hid this from his apostles, so that people would stay awake and not indulge in vices. If the Lord hid the time of the death of each of us and no one knows the day of his death, then all the more it was necessary to hide the time of the death of the whole world.
According to the teachings of the Church, the coming of the Antichrist must first take place, and immediately before the Last Judgment, there will be the second coming of the Lord. The holy prophets Enoch and Elijah will come, who were taken to heaven and who will preach the word of God and fight the Antichrist. They will be killed, their corpses will be thrown away. But then the sign of the Son of Man will appear in heaven, that is, the holy cross, the angels will blow trumpets, the dead will rise, the living will change, and the great and Last Judgment of the Lord will open. Another moment, a century, a thousand centuries and the world will end.
God the Father “All judgment belongs to the Sons” (John 5:22). Then the holy apostles will sit on twelve thrones to judge the twelve tribes of Israel. This will be a cosmic phenomenon, the elements of the world will disintegrate, the flow of life will cease. Saint John the Theologian, the son of thunder, will also come. Enoch, as the representative of the antediluvian world, Saint Elijah, the representative Old Testament, and Saint John the Theologian is the representative of the New Testament. “The earth and everything that is on it will be burned up” (2 Pet. 3:10).
People will be resurrected at the same age at which Christ was resurrected. They get to know each other. Then demons will show people their sins in a visible way. And the human race will mourn before the Lord. Everyone will gather for the trial. The Lord will separate one from another, just as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. He will put the sheep on the right hand, and the goats on the left. Then he will say to those on His right hand, remembering their works of mercy: He was hungry and gave me five other works to eat. (Wed: Matthew 25:35). “The saints are called blessed as having been received by the Father. The Lord calls them heirs of the Kingdom in order to show that He makes them sharers of His glory as His children. For he did not say “receive,” but “inherit,” as if he were talking about some fatherly property.”, says Blessed Theophylact (The Good News or interpretation of Blessed Theophylact, Archbishop of Bulgaria. Interpretation of the Gospel of Matthew. Chapter 25. Art. 34-40).
So the Lord will not ask Last Judgment about whether we fasted or prayed, he will ask how we kept the commandments. Mercy, love for one's neighbor, compassion, help - this is what we will need to give an account of.It is interesting that the righteous, due to their modesty, do not consider themselves to have done anything good.
And those standing on their feet will hear His terrible voice: “Depart from me, O curse, into the everlasting fire prepared for the devil and his angel” (Matthew 25:41). So, eternal fire is not prepared for people, but for the devil. People who have allowed devilish feelings into their hearts, and then acts of unmercifulness, will receive a terrible reward. It is interesting that they did not violate the commandments: they did not steal, they did not kill, but they were only merciless, and this already dooms them to eternal torment.
One of the great Fathers of the Church, Saint Gregory of Nyssa, taught, as some suggest under the influence of Origen, that the torment would end. The Holy Church, accurately interpreting the words of the Holy Gospel, speaks of eternal torment. Apparently this must be understood in such a way that eternity itself will end. Time is only a category of consciousness. Time was created by the Lord. It will be that time and eternity will end. But as long as there is time, the torment will be eternal, as long as there is eternity.
Listening to the previous parables and desiring saving repentance, and on the other hand seeing the mercy of God, a person can “live lazily” (Synaxarion), hoping for the mercy of the Lord.
The image of the Last Judgment presented before us today fills our hearts with the saving fear of God, which is the beginning of wisdom, and therefore of spiritual life. And if we do not have works of mercy, if we did not break our bread for the hungry, and then decided to repent, will such repentance be accepted? And if the beginning of spiritual conversion is repentance, then the fruits of repentance are works of mercy.
One of the main themes of religion is sin. Everyone knows this from their own experience. But the opposite concept to sin is not righteousness, but grace and mercy. “I desire mercy rather than sacrifice” (Hos. 6:6), was said back in the Old Testament.
Speaking about the publican, it was noted that he went to his house more justified than the Pharisee. But not entirely justified, since repentance is not enough, but good deeds are also necessary. The first two parables talk about repentance, but this week they do not talk about repentance, but about the fruits of repentance, and these fruits are good deeds. The publican Zacchaeus was justified when he distributed half of his property to his neighbors and repaid those whom he had offended with the devil. So that no one thinks that only words are sufficient, the Holy Church suggests to us that it is deeds that are needed at the Last Judgment.
So, will the righteous be justified by faith or by works? It is clear that faith without works is dead; it is about works that the Lord will ask us at His Last Judgment.
Let us strive, brethren, to bring active repentance. Saint Seraphim of Sarov teaches that fasting consists not only in abstaining from food, but that a person himself distributes the piece of bread that he did not eat to the poor.
If the first coming of the Lord was inglorious in humiliation, then His second coming will be in glory. He will appear with thousands of angels, “like lightning” that flashes from one end to the other of the sky (See: Luke 17:24).
With our spiritual eyes we contemplate the end of human history. This is a magnificent prophecy of the future. The fate of humanity is revealed. The Apocalypse speaks to our hearts today. Every tribe of those in heaven and on earth and under the earth will worship Him. (See: Isa. 45:23; Rom. 14:11; Phil. 2:10-11). And there will be God “act all in all” (1 Cor. 12:6).
Let us remember the impact of the icon of the Last Judgment, which was shown to Saint Vladimir by the monk-preacher. “Good to those on the right hand,” said Saint Vladimir. Future story the world opened up before him and made a revolution in his soul. From a pagan he became a Christian. In the ancient Churches, the image of the Last Judgment was placed on the western wall of the temple. Anyone leaving the temple could see with their own eyes the Judgment at which we all must appear in order to give an account to God.
Through the prayers of the holy saints, Lord, bring about the conversion appointed by the court. Amen.
∗ Quote By: Collected works of Archimandrite Vasily (Pronin) / Decipherment of manuscripts, general editing and compilation: candidate of theology, protodeacon Alexander Monich. – T. II. – Uzhgorod: OJSC “Patent”, 2010. – P. 47-52.
I have seen many variations of “catechism” and “catechesis.” Long, sometimes a year long, and short, lasting minutes. Among them were those based on the Gospel, on the Creed, on the author’s methodology, or even on the Book of Genesis. For adults and for children. Overloaded with information, including even exams, and as light as possible, almost formal, in the form of a short sermon.
I even saw it with sign language translation once.
In short, there are about a million options, and the synodal requirements regarding the number and duration of public conversations have changed little here. Is it that non-church acquaintances are now looking for “good churches” for the baptism of children, where they can avoid “all this burdensomeness” for money.
It seems to me that all these preparations are, in principle, not about that.
“I was already praised”
When I was baptized at the age of 10, in 1991, I already knew both the Old and New Testament regarding the facts stated in them. Because during the perestroika years, somewhere in our house, whole piles of Protestant retellings of the Bible, including comics, appeared. I still remember that for some reason they depicted Christ in white and blue robes. I studied, it seems, better than anyone in Sunday school. I generally have a good memory for history.
Did it give me any understanding of faith? Yes, none. I lived for years with a considerable amount of information in my head, which I did not use at all. Much like the discriminant formula and the rules for adding valencies that are unnecessary outside of school. I knew which part of the Liturgy followed which, and what it symbolized. This helped me defend my service with less nervous effort, but somehow it never occurred to me to think about what the Cross had to do with me.
I was praised anyway.
“You don’t need knowledge to be with Christ”
For some reason, in most cases, when it comes to teaching a person the faith (preparing for baptism, introducing him to the Church - whatever you want to call it), they argue that the person being baptized needs to know something. Learn a certain amount of knowledge and navigate it confidently. And, in my personal opinion, it is absolutely useless.
It's like searching lost key not where he dropped it, but under the lantern, because it’s light there.
Teaching people knowledge is very simple. Knowledge is easy to check, clearly define, calculate and conclude on this purely formal basis that a person is ready - he firmly knows this and that.
However, in order to be with Christ, knowledge is not particularly needed. Not that they are superfluous, but far from paramount. The publican Zacchaeus did not know the Creed, and the prudent thief generally had an extremely vague idea of Who he was dealing with. Mary of Egypt did not read the Scriptures before going into the wilderness.
But the militant atheist Evgraf Duluman has a PhD in theology. But I doubt that even the most undemanding priest would consider him ready for baptism.
To believe that if a person has learned a certain number of facts and their interpretations, then he is already ready for the Kingdom is naive. If we were talking about a university or academy, then such an approach would be justified. But we have gathered not to study books, but to be the Body of Christ.
Church is much more like a meeting, such as Alcoholics Anonymous. People came together to change internally. And progress is tracked not by intellectual success, but by how much a person changes. What he does, what he feels, what he strives for, how his life is structured in general.
Preparation for baptism should consist of precisely this. In teaching – practical – prayer and mercy, repentance, participation in worship, prioritizing in life, the skill of turning to God and trusting Him, the skill of building sacrificial and honest relationships with others. And this is very difficult.
Because it is not clear how to track a changeable soul, how to draw up a more or less general program, and most importantly, who will do all this, who will have the courage and experience to assess the level spiritual development of people. This approach places too much responsibility on pastors and creates extremely complex personal relationships instead of a formal flow of trainees.
It is very difficult. Actually, for such work you need to be a saint, and holiness is not technologized, unlike training.
“Books and knowledge are good, but they are not enough”
And this process is impossible without the sincere and ardent desire of the person himself to develop in this direction. If baptism depended precisely on the presence of such a desire, I’m afraid our churches would stand half empty. And so the work is carried out by quantitative methods, and the readiness to read a few books or listen to a few lectures is considered a sign of sufficient motivation for baptism.
Books and knowledge are good, but they are not enough.
Here's at least a simple example.
My favorite parable from the Gospel is about the Last Judgment. The one in which the Lord asks people - did they help the sick and poor? Have you visited prisoners? Did you feed the hungry? He doesn't ask what they believed. He does not ask what prayers they remember by heart and how often they read them. The Lord is not interested in anything from the field of knowledge or beliefs in this parable, which tells, in fact, about the criteria of the Last Judgment.
But for some reason, what is required for baptism in our daily practice is not the skill or at least the desire to care for one’s neighbor, but knowledge of theological formulas. Isn't that weird?
The portal “Orthodoxy and the World” and the independent service “Sreda” are conducting a series of discussions about parish life. Every week - a new topic! We will ask all the pressing questions to different priests. If you want to talk about the pain points of Orthodoxy, your experience or vision of problems, write to the editor at
Virgo
