Birth Christian family is performed with the blessing of the Church, which unites two into a single whole in the sacrament of wedding. There is a special providence from God for such a family, since it is based on the Gospel commandment of love.

What a Christian needs to know about this church sacrament, how to prepare for it? This is what our story will be about, intended for the bride and groom preparing for their wedding, or unmarried spouses who have lived side by side, perhaps until their golden anniversary. We invite them all to think about a simple question that our great-great-grandmothers and great-great-grandfathers knew so well - For what do people get married?

Why was the wedding persecuted by the enemies of the Church?

Many of our readers, if they were not present at a church wedding, then certainly have an idea about it from numerous films.

First of all, I remember the princess-bride in a snow-white wedding dress. Burning candles, jubilant chants and church prayers. A solemn procession behind the priest around the lectern under the shadow of royal crowns. Bells falling from the sky, glorifying the union of love. Many colors and a stream of joy overflowing over the edge of this special day, when two people first appeared before God and people as husband and wife.

The older generation still remembers how the ceremonial registration took place at the wedding palace or district registry office, accompanied by Mendelssohn's wedding march. And only a few, after the registry office, dared to get married in secret...

The era of fierce persecution is now considered a thing of the past: the destruction of churches, the persecution of the clergy, the eradication of the faith itself. Our memory does not bleed when we encounter the fact of recent reality, when one enterprising leader of the people arrogantly “prophesied” how he would “show the last priest on television.”

This is how the enemies of Christ acted, consistently implementing their monstrous plan for the destruction of Russia - the stronghold of Orthodoxy.

The autocratic power was trampled upon, the family of the last Russian sovereign was slandered and shot, so that their iconographic faces, the true image of Christian marriage given to us forever, would disappear from the face of the earth and our memory forever. The satanic destructive stereotype of human relationships begins to take hold. Herodias becomes the ideal of the new woman.

As you know, she was from the Maccabean family and the granddaughter of Herod the Great. She was looking for royal honors and power, which she did not have in her marriage to Herod Philip, her cousin. The blood of many evil and voluptuous ancestors was mixed in her veins. She persuaded her husband's brother Herod Antipas, the ruler of Galilee, into an adulterous marriage.

Having been publicly exposed by John the Baptist for breaking the law, she, harboring anger, sought an opportunity to deal with the holy prophet. The instrument of revenge was her daughter Salome. On the anniversary of Herod's accession to the throne, she pleased the ruler and all the guests with her dance, and therefore Herod publicly promised Salome any reward, even up to half of his kingdom. This is how F.V. describes the events that followed. Farrar.

“The delighted maiden ran to consult with her mother, and it was then that the opportunity presented itself for Herodias to satisfy her bloodthirsty vindictiveness. “Ask,” she said, for the head of John the Baptist, so that you can now be given the head of this hated prophet on a platter.” Herod listened to this request with horror. She sobered him up because she was going against all his best beliefs. If he had been capable of any courage, he could easily have rejected this request as not corresponding to the purpose of his promise. But false fear of people and thirst for approval, passion for popularity, vanity of power - all this suppressed his best intentions. An executioner was sent to the prison, the sword flashed, and, at the request of the shameless maiden, at the instigation of the adulteress, maddened with hatred, and due to the vain weakness of the criminal king, the head of the greatest of those born of wives was cut off! This head, placed on a bloody dish, was presented to the princess, and she took it to her mother, who poured out all her hatred of which a worthless, angry woman was capable of.” (F.W. Farrar. From the chapter “Herods” in the book “Conscience and the Fall”, St. Petersburg, 1998, pp. 120-121).

Subsequently, all three - Herod Antipas, Herodias and her daughter Salome accepted a painful death as God's retribution for the death of the holy prophet of the Lord John the Baptist.

The Holy Scripture teaches foolish humanity about the ways of a righteous life - “for the Lord knows the way of the righteous, but the way of the wicked will perish”(). And yet, since the world has stood, humanity has repeatedly fallen into a trap set by the spirits of evil in heaven. “You will be like gods,” a seductive whisper is heard. And the light of reason fades. Where will the scales of free human will tip now? Destroy a family, and a person will get lost in a dark forest.

This is not the first time in the history of Christianity that blood has been shed. But the enemies of God cannot overcome the Church. And faith is resurrected again on the blood of martyrs. The love for Christ of all who surrendered their lives to Him and followed Him, taking up their cross, is ineradicable. “God is love,” testifies the Apostle John the Theologian (). Therefore, Christianity itself is a religion of sacrificial love, which has two paths: either to devote oneself to God and leave the world to pray for him, or, while staying in the world, to preserve a blessed marriage, honoring God's commandment: “And God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth and subdue it” (). And God gave a promise to future humanity that “the seed of the woman will erase the head of the serpent” (), seeing through the millennia the humble face of the Most Pure Virgin from the house of Joachim and Anna.

And so the God-manhood took place. The first thing the Savior did when he set out on the path of ministry was to bless the marriage couple in Cana of Galilee. According to church tradition, this was the wedding of Simon the Canaanite, who was shocked by the miracle that happened - the transformation of water into wonderful wine. “Here is He, the promised Messiah, the long-awaited Messiah!” - it was revealed to him that day.

Since then, every marriage has been carried out with the blessing of the Church, the Head of which is the Lord Himself. Moreover, Christian marriage creates his own invisible small church, the head of which is the husband, who stands before the Lord for all his household. Our every prayerful sigh is known to God. We just need to be able to give place to God’s care for us and not forget - “whatever a man sows, that will he also reap: he who sows to his flesh will from the flesh reap corruption, and he who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life” ().

And if a husband and wife are outside the church fence, their life passes among the raging passions that reign in this world and destroy fragile human structures. Hostility and quarrels, jealousy and adultery alternate in him in a vicious circle, from which there is no escape for those who reject God's help. This is evidenced by the growing wave of divorces, dooming both children and adults to loneliness.

Take care of honor from a young age

We all know this proverb, put by Pushkin as an epigraph to the story “ Captain's daughter" But this was an epigraph to the very life of a Russian person, to his entire way of life and existence.

Alexander Vasilyevich Suvorov increased the glory of Russian weapons because famous words commander: "My daughter's chastityMore precious to me is life and my own honor.”, - were not only the words of a loving father. They testified to the deep indestructibility of his spirit. That's why Suvorov's army was invincible, because it lived according to gospel commandments, forming a single spiritual whole with their commander. She could always fearlessly go to her death “For God, the Tsar and the Fatherland!” And this is why our power was strong, in which the Orthodox people lived and believed in this way.

How important it is for us today to touch with our souls this patriarchal chastity, which faithfully preserves the pious customs of its ancestors. They built their lives according to the word of God. Then neither grandfathers nor grandchildren parted with the lives of the saints. The spiritual heritage of the holy fathers and teachers of the Church was a source of intimate thoughts about oneself and about life. Life-giving word Holy Scripture and Sacred Tradition was thought of as an imperishable treasure of the spirit.

So the modern pastoral word examines and verifies our fast-flowing and changeable life with the eternal word of God, which guides the priest, who is always at the epicenter of human problems. For this purpose, like the apostles, “verbs” were revealed to him eternal life».

“In the past, worries about a future wedding did not suddenly overtake parents. Almost from birth, they collected a dowry for the girl, and considered the worries of her son’s marriage. In rich houses of the upper classes, various benefits were recorded for children: villages, houses, and money was saved. In a peasant family, a girl's chest was prepared: fur coats, blankets, dresses, towels. The guy was saving for his wedding. Without renouncing the division, they tried to prepare extra sleighs, buy forestry and tools. Already the baby had his own property: it was customary to give “tooth teeth”, and later on the name day, “money” for the future household. Thus, from childhood, the child, encountering objects and conversations related to his future marriage, thought about an independent family life.

Wedding celebrations were the highlight of a series of family celebrations. They stood out for their long and established rituals, very special and magnificent dresses. Gifts. Songs. They continued for more than one day. There were a lot of guests at weddings. This also had its educational significance. An older sister or aunt, a neighbor in a wedding dress, “like a princess,” became the center of attention of the entire family, the entire street, the parish. The girl looked, mentally trying on such unusual care and love of loved ones and, of course, a rich dress. The boy looked at his older relative or brotherly friend and also thought about the unprecedented honor that surrounded the groom. I was hoping to experience the same thing someday. In their conversations, the children spent a long time discussing wedding gifts, the list of which, by usual chance, became the property of relatives and neighbors.

These gifts also captured children's imaginations. “Why, why does he deserve such respect and gifts? What did he do to deserve this?” - thought the child. They asked mother and father. “Be hardworking and modest, and they will marry you. We’ll sew you a beautiful dress.” "Be a good helper to your father, don’t be lazy, don’t be mischievous - they’ll give you a good girl for you,” the mother probably answered. From gifts and boots, the child’s attention switched to virtues. Virtue received a real reward - the right to be an enviable bride, an enviable groom. Sin also had visible and tangible punishment. “Who will take you, you idiot?!”, “Who will they give for you, you idiot?!”

Once upon a time, the attention of our compatriots was not so scattered. Worry about the health of the Pope or the unprecedented flood in Brazil did not bother people's hearts. But I had more mental strength left for my own family affairs and concerns. Serious preparations were made for the future marriage of a son or daughter. Morality, hard work, religiosity, economic skills, neatness, health, obedience to parents, and the fun of possible candidates for relatives did not escape the attention of others. All impressions and information were stored in memory until the time was right, so that later they could make the only right choice for the happy fate of a daughter or son. They also tried to give their “product” an appearance so that later there would be no reproaches from relatives. “My mother made me wash it five times. I ran a handkerchief through the corners to check if it was clean. She said: “When you get married, it will be a sin on me for raising a slob.” You won’t linger at the gate either, they’ll definitely shout from the house that there’s no need to look out on the street,” one woman told about her upbringing.

Both boys and girls remembered that “good glory lies, but bad glory flees,” and tried not to give a reason for bad glory, because the payback for pranks in the future could be a shameful refusal in matchmaking, or even loneliness.

The fact that a teenager's thoughts often turned to a future marriage does not mean that he developed carnal daydreaming. There was nothing lustful in these thoughts. The wedding attracted the imagination of the young because it highlighted and revealed to others the real dignity of a person. Not everyone could realize this, but everyone felt it” (Priest Sergius Nikolaev. To brides and grooms. M., p. 5-9).

This is how Mother Russia lived slowly, incorporating into her every day the simple wisdom of pious existence, inherited from generation to generation, firmly knowing that without this it is impossible to calmly look into the future. This is a lesson to all young people and all parents who should know that in order to find themselves with lit candles at the lectern, the bride and groom will need their whole life under their parents’ roof. From the way of life that exists in father's house the bride and groom, subsequently the main wealth of the new family is formed.

About parental blessing, or who chooses the bride?

There were times when the bride and groom first met only in church at the wedding. Parental blessing and will were an indisputable law. The Lord Himself rewarded the obedience and piety of the children.

In order to find out the will of God, the whole family used to pray for a long time at the holy relics of the saints of God, order prayer services from miraculous icons, went to monasteries to spiritual elders, to whom the human heart is open and God’s Providence for those asking for advice is visible. The following conversation is known between the monk and the benefactor of the Diveevo monastery, Nikolai Aleksandrovich Motovilov, which took place in October 1831.

Motovilov told the elder his innermost secret. It has been more than ten years since his heart was given to the pious maiden Ekaterina Mikhailovna Yazykova. But the marriage did not work out, which unusually saddened Nikolai Alexandrovich, since in the image of his first love he found for himself a truly Christian ideal of a selfless female heart and did not think of looking for or wanting anyone else for himself.

The Monk Seraphim listened to him with attention, asking him about everything in detail. And he unexpectedly told Motovilov that the bride who was destined for him by God was still young, she was only a little over eight years old. And then the elder revealed to the amazed Nikolai Alexandrovich those circumstances that would serve their acquaintance in the future and further happy marriage.

“After all, it’s different, your love for God, to ask the Lord God, so that He would foretell someone’s bride, as you, for example, are asking now, so that I, poor one, beg the Lord, so that He would foretell Yazykov as your bride, - and another thing, when the Lord Himself to whom did you deign to prescribe which bride, such as, for example, for your love of God. Your bride is now no more than eight years old and three, four or five months old. Believe me, this is exactly true, and I myself, poor Seraphim, am ready to testify to this to you... I am not telling you about the present time, but about the future. After all, I told you that life is great, and a lot happens in life. So, when it happens to you in the future that you will be reproached for some girl, and she will be reviled for you, then don’t forget the requests and pleas of the wretched Seraphim - marry this girl!”

“And Father bowed to me, a sinner, for the third time, to the face of the earth, and I again fell at his feet.

Standing up and looking straight into my eyes, Father Seraphim began to peer vigilantly into me and, as if looking into my very soul, asked:

Well, father, will you fulfill the request of poor Seraphim?

And I said:

– If God deigns to do it, then I will try to do as you wish!
“Well,” said Father Seraphim, “thank you!” Don’t forget this girl!... And she, I tell you, is a poor Seraphim, she is like an angel of God both in soul and in flesh..

But maybe you will be embarrassed when I tell you her title?.. She is a simple peasant woman!.. But do not be embarrassed by this, your love of God: she is your sister according to our forefather Adam, and according to our Lord Jesus Christ!

Then Father began to talk about how we should live with my future wife, and ended his conversation by repeating his request, begging us not to forget either his request or the conversation, and then he let us go in peace, not saying anything about Yazykova...

...At the indicated time, Motovilov still had no idea either about Diveyevo or about the role that over time he was to play in the destinies of this last lot on earth for the Queen of Heaven.

An eight-year-old girl at that time, Elena Milyukova, could even less suspect that she would someday marry, and even to a rich nobleman, who in the future would stand at nothing to fulfill the behest of her Father, and in a worldly guise would become that servant Mother of God and Seraphimov, as he subsequently became according to God’s wondrous vision” (Nikolai Aleksandrovich Motovilov and the Diveyevo Convent. Publication of the Holy Trinity-Seraphim-Diveyevo Convent, 1999, pp. 42,45-46,48.)

Since marriages take place in heaven, it means we must learn to hear God’s will for ourselves, which is revealed to a Christian through the prayer life of his heart turned to God.

About the blessing of the confessor

When the issue of marriage is decided by church people, the blessing of the spiritual father or parish priest, where the bride and groom usually confess.

Obedience to your confessor helps you avoid those mistakes that are so often made due to a lack of life and spiritual experience.

When does the wedding take place in the church?

For a church wedding, the bride and groom must choose a day for the wedding sacrament and make a preliminary agreement with the priest. You need to know that marriages take place on special days established by the church - Monday, Wednesday, Friday and Sunday. The exception is the days before the twelve, temple and great holidays. And also in continuation of all fasts: the Great, Petrov, Uspensky and Rozhdestvensky.

In continuation of Christmastide - from January 7 to January 20, during Maslenitsa, as well as during Bright Week; on the eve and on the day of remembrance of the Beheading of John the Baptist - September 11; on the eve and on the feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross - September 27.

The wedding itself is a separate service performed in the church after the liturgy. On the same day or the day before, the bride and groom partake of the Holy Mysteries of Christ in order to begin the sacrament of wedding in spiritual purity.

“Our Divine Liturgy, and especially the Eucharist, is the greatest and constant revelation of God’s love to us! - testifies the holy and righteous shepherd of God.

For the bride and groom preparing to create a new family - a home church - being at the Divine service, especially on such a day for them, is the best spiritual strengthening. After all, the Lord Himself receives them at His wedding feast, which is the Holy Eucharist. It is no coincidence that in the Gospel the Kingdom of Heaven is more than once likened to marriage and a wedding feast.

About the symbolism of wedding rings

The sacrament of wedding is preceded by the betrothal of the bride and groom. In the old days, it was performed separately from the wedding and was a test of fidelity and love, the guarantee of which was wedding rings.

The word “betrothal” itself, as indicated by the explanatory dictionary of V.I. Dalia ( Dictionary living Great Russian language V.I. Dahl in 4 vols., Russian language, 1999, vol. 2, p. 616.) comes from the word “hoop”, or “ring”, which is an ancient symbol of eternity. And since the goal of marriage is the achievement of an incorruptible image of eternity, then an indispensable condition for its completion is the exchange of rings between the bride and groom.

In the ancient Church, the bishop, performing a betrothal blessing, offered the following prayerful wish:

“Bless, Lord, this ring... for as it crowns a man’s finger... so let the grace of the Holy Spirit surround the bride and groom, so that they may see sons and daughters to the third and fourth generation, who will praise Your name.”

Thus, the bride and groom, “as children of light,” according to the words of the Apostle Paul (Eph. 5:8), testify to everyone that they are pure and chaste before God. The flame of candles illuminates the beginning of a new life, where light is the source of God's holiness. Union in the Lord necessarily attracts the grace of God. “Where two or three are gathered in My name, there I am in the midst of them” (). The bride is handed over to the groom and the husband accepts her from God and His Church, according to the word of Blessed Simeon. (Works of Blessed Simeon, Archbishop of Thessaloniki, St. Petersburg, 1856, p. 353.) All brides are beautiful, like snow-white lilies. They delight the eye and gladden the heart. It is no coincidence that Archangel Gabriel appeared to the Virgin Mary with a lily flower - a symbol of chastity and purity.

What does the censing of newlyweds mean?

When the bride and groom stand with lit candles, the priest makes a cross incense for the newlyweds. Thus, he calls upon them the grace of the Holy Spirit, reminding us of the events from the Old Testament book of Tobit, which tells about the marriage of Tobiah, the son of Tobit, to the daughter of Raguel Sarah, destined for him by God as his wife. And in order for God’s will to be accomplished, an evil spirit was located near Sarah, which kills all the suitors, leading both the bride and her parents to despair.

Tobias and Sarah fervently prayed that the Lord would bless their marriage. The newlyweds' prayer was heard. Archangel Raphael, who brought Tobias to the house of his bride, taught him how to ward off the enemy's power with incense (Book of Tobit, chapters 6-8.). Thus, cross-shaped incense means the invisible, mysterious presence with us of the grace of the Holy Spirit, sanctifying us for good deeds.

How is engagement performed?

When the priest censes the bride and groom standing with lighted candles in the church, the Church offers prayers, asking God for the peace needed by the newlyweds, praying for sending them perfect love and help, grace for an immaculate life, for only the One God grants an honest marriage and a bed not bad. The Church prays for deliverance from all sorrow, anger and need, and turns to the Most Blessed Lady, the Most Holy Theotokos, for intercession and salvation.

In her prayers the Church takes us back to the times Old Testament. We remember Isaac and Rebekah, whom the Lord Himself chose for each other. And the priest, citing them as an example, asks for God’s blessing for the betrothal of the bride and groom coming here, in order to “establish an indestructible union of love for them.”

Then the priest blesses three times in the shape of a cross, first the groom and then the bride with the rings that were consecrated on the holy altar of this church.

The priest accompanies the first step of uniting the bride and groom with the words: “The servant of God (says the name of the groom) is engaged to the servant of God (says the name of the bride) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen". And then he turns to the bride with the same words: “The servant of God (says her name) is betrothed to the servant of God (says his name) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen".

The marital union carries with it the guarantee of unity and eternity. The rings are put on the fingers of the right hands, signifying a blessing for every good deed - “... and the right hand of Your servant will be blessed,” says the text of the prayer, read by the priest after the engagement. The rings testify to the gracious help in preserving marital love, unfading thanks to God's mercy.

What does the white cloth under the feet of the bride and groom mean?

With the singing of King David’s psalm “Blessed are all who fear the Lord...” the bride and groom with lighted candles go out to the middle of the temple and stand in front of the lectern on which they are lying Holy Gospel and the cross of Christ. By this the Church shows that in all paths of their lives, in all endeavors, spouses must follow the Gospel commandments. And the Cross of Christ the Savior should strengthen them spiritually in bearing their own cross, commanded by the Lord to all Christians.

Under the feet of the newlyweds white towel or white cloth - a symbol of unity and joy of undivided life in marriage. Like the bride’s wedding dress, this snow-white fabric speaks of the purity and chastity of those entering into marriage, that their thoughts, feelings and deeds are also impeccable in relation to each other and to the Lord.

What do the bride and groom offer their vows to God during their wedding?

When they stop talking church hymns and the church becomes quiet, the priest addresses the bride and groom with the instructive word of the Church, which prepares them to pronounce their marriage vows.

Vows are made by believers either in gratitude to the Lord for the heavenly help provided, or in prayer for God's help. Violation of vows made to God constitutes a sin against the third commandment of the Law of God: “Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain.”

Therefore, before the vows are pronounced, the priest asks the newlyweds, starting with the groom: “Do you (says his name) have a good and spontaneous will and a strong thought to take a wife (says the name of the bride) ...” The consent of the groom indicates that from now on he is ready take on his shoulders all the responsibility for his family and will take care of both his wife and children with whom the Lord will bless their union; from now on he recognizes himself as the head of the family in the image of Christ, who is the Head of the Church, for whose indescribable love he ascended to the Calvary Cross.

AND next question priest: “Didn’t you make a promise to another bride?” The groom’s negative answer testifies to his prudence and clear conscience, loyalty and readiness to be a steward of his family, as a servant of Christ and a steward of the Mysteries of God (): “It is required of the steward that everyone proves faithful.”

The priest asks the same questions to the bride: “Do you have a good and spontaneous will, and a firm thought, to take this (groom’s name) as your husband...” By her answer, the bride testifies that she knows the calling of a wife and mother and she is ready to be a faithful helper to her husband , a loving wife and virtuous mother, according to the words of the wise Solomon: “Who can find a virtuous wife? Its price is higher than pearls; The heart of her husband is confident in her, and he will not be left without profit; she rewards him with good, not evil, all the days of her life” ().

The bride’s answers: “I have, honest father,” “I didn’t promise, honest father,” also testify to her good behavior and piety, her readiness to be a reliable support for her husband and children in life.

The marriage vows of the bride and groom confirm before God and the Church the voluntariness and inviolability of their intentions. In a Christian marriage, such testimony is the main condition for recognizing the bride and groom as husband and wife.

“Thou hast placed crowns on their heads...”

When the bride and groom have pronounced their marriage vows, the priest begins to perform the sacrament of the wedding. Like any church action, it begins with a prayer request calling for the blessing and mercy of God on all those praying. The priest remembers the God-blessed marriages of the holy forefathers and calls upon the future family the blessing of the Lord, which was granted to Abraham and Sarah, Isaac and Rebecca, Jacob and Rachel, Joseph and Asenath, Zechariah and Elizabeth; the priest remembers the blessing of the married couple by the Lord in Cana of Galilee and asks Him, who is invisibly present here, to bless the union of the servants of God, whose names he loudly calls and prays for the granting of a peaceful and long married life, blessings for future children and well-being for the entire house.

In the next prayer, the priest prays to the Lord to save the newlyweds, as Noah and his entire family were saved in the ark, as Jonah was miraculously saved in the belly of the whale, and the three youths in the cave of Babylon found heavenly coolness in the fire.

A special petition is also raised to the Lord for parents, whose prayers “establish the foundations of houses” ().

And then comes the secret moment when the priest lays crowns on the blessed couple - a sign of royal power.

The priest, taking the crown, marks the groom with a cross and gives him to kiss the image of the Savior, attached to the front of the crown and consecrating it. When crowning the groom, the priest says: “The servant of God (says his name) is married to the servant of God (says the name of the bride) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

Blessing the bride in the same way and allowing her to venerate the image Holy Mother of God, decorating her crown, the priest crowns her, saying: “The servant of God (name of the bride) is married to the servant of God (name of the groom) in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit.”

By laying on crowns, the Church gives special honor to the bride and groom for spiritual feat observance of chastity before marriage.

When the priest exclaims: “Lord our God, crown (them) with glory and honor,” the sacrament of marriage is performed. The Church proclaims those getting married to be the founders of a new Christian family - the small church. The church blessing marks the eternity and indissolubility of the born union: “What God has united, let no man separate” ().

Who are the witnesses at a wedding?

When the priest places crowns on the head of the bride and groom, their successors, or witnesses, accept and hold them. Behind the bride is her friend, and behind the groom is a friend. They are the prayerful guardians of this marriage, spiritual mentors, therefore “they must be Orthodox and God-loving” (Works of Blessed Simeon, Archbishop of Thessaloniki, 1856, St. Petersburg, p. 357.), Blessed Simeon adds.

What does the word of the Holy Apostle Paul and the Gospel reading about the wedding feast in Cana of Galilee teach a husband and wife?

And the word of the Apostle Paul to church community Ephesus, and the Gospel reading about the feast in Cana of Galilee speak about the main thing - about obedience as the immutable law of all relationships between Christians.

“Do whatever He tells you,” says the Mother of God. And so they did as they were told, and unexpectedly found wine in abundance in the vessels.

And the holy Apostle Paul calls on believers: “Submit yourselves to one another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:21). That is, for the sake of Christ, for the sake of love for Him. And peace enters their homes and hearts, and the Lord blesses, giving them earthly and heavenly blessings.

The marriage union is similar to the indissoluble unity of Christ and His Bride, the Church, who, in the name of love for each other, make a voluntary sacrifice on the cross. The Lord, in the name of love and salvation of humanity, ascends to Golgotha. The Church, whose faithful children live for the glory of God and die for the holy Orthodox faith testified their love for God throughout two thousand years of incessant spiritual warfare.

What does it symbolize when young people drink wine from a common cup?

After reading the Gospel, the Church again offers its prayers for the newlyweds. Then the priest brings a cup of wine and, after blessing it, serves it to the newlyweds. The bride and groom take turns drinking from it to commemorate their inseparable existence, both spiritual and physical, and also as evidence of their unity in good thoughts about God.

About walking around the lectern

Then the priest joins the right hands of the spouses as a sign of their unity in Christ and covers them with the end of the stole, which symbolizes the delivery of the wife to the husband through the hands of the priest from the Church itself. Next, he, holding a cross in his hands, circles them three times around the lectern on which the Gospel lies. The circle has always served as a sign of eternity, therefore walking around the lectern symbolizes the indissolubility of the concluded union. It is performed three times for the glory of the Holy Trinity.

Following the priest, the newlyweds sing church troparia, the meaning of which reveals the hidden meaning of their marriage as a unity in Christ to serve God.

“Isaiah rejoices, for I have a virgin with child, and give birth to a son, Emmanuel, and God and man, whose name is the east: His is magnified, let us please the Virgin.”

This is how the Church glorifies the most joyful event in the Universe - the Nativity of Christ. This chant is in context with what is happening in this moment in the temple, he reveals to the newlyweds that the birth of their family is now in a series of church events and has the same goal as the Incarnation of God - the salvation of each other for eternal life with Christ.

Then the troparion is sung: “To the holy martyrs, who suffered well and were crowned, pray to the Lord to have mercy on our souls.”

This is a prayerful appeal to those who accepted voluntary suffering, which brought the crown of martyrdom, and through this were honored with the Kingdom of Heaven. The Church thereby tells us that good spouses, by enduring sorrows, are likened to Christians who have won the crowns of martyrdom for their feat on the cross, confessing faith in Christ.

At the end, the troparion is sung: “Glory to Thee, Christ God, praise to the apostles, joy to the martyrs, their sermon, the Trinity Consubstantial.”

This hymn reminds us that the path of the gospel of Christ awaits every Christian, for according to the words of the Apostle Paul: “The heart believes for righteousness, the mouth confesses for salvation” (). Following this path, husband and wife must first of all be a worthy example for their children and faithful helpers to each other.

Parting words to the Church

In the old days, newlyweds stayed crowned for seven days and only on the eighth day were they allowed away from them in a special ceremony in the temple. In modern practice, the removal of crowns occurs at the end of the solemn procession. The priest says this a short prayer. But for the rest of their lives, these crowns will invisibly adorn the husband and wife if they always follow the truth of God and maintain peace and love for each other.

Concludes the wedding special prayer about newlyweds, in which the priest asks the Lord for a blessing for their entire life, as well as prosperity and longevity. He also turns to the Mother of God, who asked the Lord for mercy for the newlyweds in Cana of Galilee.

Also remembered in this prayer petition are the divinely crowned saints, equal to the apostles, Queen Helena and Tsar Constantine, especially revered by the Church. They were the first of the earthly kings to accept the Christian faith and establish it as the state faith, bringing the entire universe under their control into the fold of the Holy Church of Christ.

In prayer for the newlyweds, the Church turns to the holy great martyr Procopius, who, with his suffering for Christ, inspired twelve noble women to win the crowns of martyrdom, ascending to the cross as if at a wedding feast.

By such examples, the newlyweds are called upon by the Church to keep apostolic zeal in their hearts and serve God with their labors, for from now on they represent a small church, blessed on the day of their wedding by our Lord Jesus Christ.

“Many and good years…” the Church sings to the newlyweds, and the priest addresses them with a pastoral word, which they must listen to with special attention, for by inspiration, during the performance of the sacrament, the priest speaks the word not so much from himself, as revealed to him by the Lord by the grace of the priesthood, he says exactly what is important for those standing before him and before God. His word will be about the most necessary things in the field of family life, where they are called to serve their neighbors and God.

On the indissolubility of church marriage

A church marriage is indissoluble, except in cases of death of one of the spouses or guilt of adultery. The Holy Scripture testifies to this:

“A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; if her husband dies, she is free to marry whomever she wants, only in the Lord.” ().

“They are no longer two, but one flesh. So what God has joined together, let no man put asunder.”

“But to the unmarried and to the widows I say: It is good for them to remain as I am; but if they cannot abstain, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to become inflamed.”

“But I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for the guilt of fornication, gives her a reason to commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” ().

What can hinder a Christian marriage?

The Orthodox Church considers civil marriage to be devoid of grace as a human structure, but as a fact it recognizes and does not consider it illegal fornication. However, the conditions for marriage under civil law and church canons have differences. Not every civil marriage can be sanctified by the Church.

The Church does not allow marriage more than three times, while civil law allows for a fourth and fifth marriage, which the Church does not bless.

A wedding is impossible if one of the spouses is not baptized and is not going to be baptized before the wedding or came to the wedding at the will of someone else.

A wedding is impossible if one of the spouses is actually married to another person. To do this, it is necessary to dissolve the civil marriage, and if the marriage was a church one, it is imperative to take the bishop’s permission to dissolve it and the blessing to enter into a new marriage.

An obstacle to marriage is the blood or spiritual relationship of the bride and groom. If they are the recipients of the baptism of one person, then their marriage cannot be blessed by the Church.

About the wedding meal

The Holy Church warns against irreverent behavior after the sacrament of wedding both the newlyweds themselves and the invited guests. In the 53rd canon of the Council of Laodicea it is said: “It is not fitting for those who go to weddings to jump or dance, but to sup and dine modestly, as befits Christians.” The wedding feast should be free from all intemperance and indecency. This should be taken care of by the witnesses at the wedding, who, according to Russian custom, are both honored guests and pious, reasonable hosts at the wedding celebration.

About married life

The resolution of one of the Councils of Carthage states: “The bride and groom, upon receiving a blessing, must conduct next night in virginity out of reverence for the blessing received.”

The Church condemns the intemperate “honeymoon” of young spouses. Their restraint and moderation will be rewarded with quiet joy and happiness in the first days of their new life together.

Also, abstinence is required according to church canons on all Sundays and holidays, days of communion, repentance and fasting. The monk said to the young man about to get married: “...And also keep clean, keep Wednesdays and Fridays, and holidays, and Sundays. For failure to maintain cleanliness, for failure to observe Wednesday and Friday by spouses, children will be born dead, and if they do not observe holidays and Sundays wives die in childbirth.”

The elder wrote the same thing in one letter: “Your wife’s illness may have been your own fault: either you did not honor holidays in your marital relationship, or you did not observe marital fidelity, for which you are punished by your wife’s illness.”

The ability to restrain oneself in married life brings good fruits of spiritual peace and prosperity in the family, strengthens the husband and wife spiritually, makes them able to withstand the sorrows and trials that are inevitable in family life, and educates them to be capable of sacrifice and self-restraint.

Which saints should you pray for a successful marriage?

In all Orthodox prayer books prayers can be found at different cases family life. The Lord hears our every prayerful groaning, but in life we ​​are surrounded by precisely that which is beneficial for the salvation of our soul, which is priceless in the eyes of God. “Knock and it will be opened,” the Lord tells us.

For a blessing for marriage they pray to the Most Holy Theotokos in honor of Her Kazan Icon, to the blessed Prince Peter and Princess Fevronia, to the Murom miracle workers.

They pray to the holy Apostle and Evangelist John the Theologian for advice and love between husband and wife.

About every family and everyday need - Holy Blessed Xenia of Petersburg.

In case of childlessness, they pray to the righteous godfathers Joachim and Anna, the holy prophet Zechariah and Elizabeth. If you wish to have a male child, contact the Reverend.

On raising children in Christian piety - Martyr Sophia and St. Sergius Radonezh.

About help in everyday affairs, about God's blessing over the house - to the Hieromartyr Blasius, Bishop of Sebaste.

“Without God you can’t reach the threshold”

We hope that our story about the church sacrament of wedding will help the reader to think seriously about himself. The last generations of Russians dropped out of church life and were deprived of any religious experience for almost a hundred years. Most of us continue to live like this, following generally accepted standards, floating with the flow among the temptations of this world. Is there any place for eternity among this roar, crowd and rotation? How can the Lord knocking on our heart be heard? Isn’t such a life like a painted sun that neither shines nor warms?

But as soon as we cross the threshold of the temple, as soon as we join our hearts in common prayer, a previously unknown existence will reveal to us the hidden joy of communion with God. Then the centuries-old experience of Russian life, captured in in simple words“Without God there is no way to the threshold.”

At the end of our story about church wedding Let us remember the main thing - this sacrament is a special blessing of the Church, the Head of which is the Lord Himself. Therefore, it is so important to approach it prepared, collected, clean, without deception, so that it does not result in condemnation, but in the salvation of the soul. Then family life will have a solid, unshakable foundation. And all the prayers said on this day in the temple will bear their good fruits, “for no word will remain powerless with God”().

Nowadays, despite the widespread and massive return of people to Orthodoxy, unfortunately, we often have to deal with a rather indifferent attitude of modern Christians towards church marriage, often with a complete misunderstanding of its meaning and necessity.

According to the teachings of the Church, marriage is a sacrament established by God, which sanctifies marital relations, makes the marital union indissoluble, imposes on those getting married the obligation to care for each other as for themselves, and to raise their children in the spirit of faith and Christian morality. In the 19th century, the Christian world believed in marriage as a sacrament, recognized its binding force, and how few cases there were of divorce between spouses, and there was no mention of so-called civil marriage. Cohabitation without church blessing was considered the greatest crime, and those who allowed it were subjected to reproaches and contempt from society.

And so, during the persecution of the Church in Soviet times, church marriage was everywhere replaced by civil marriage. A godless society has also formed a corresponding attitude towards marriage. What is the result? Before our eyes, a husband leaves his wife, or a wife runs away from her husband - and these pictures do not surprise anyone. And the “free” (from any morality) West seems to be saying: this is not the limit; divorce should be considered not only acceptable, but also useful. “It would be a good idea to change your hair and husband once every 7 years,” American psychologists advise their clients, “this will bring new sensations into your life.”

In this regard, the question arises: does civil marriage even include the necessary conditions sustainable happy marriage?

So that marriage, understood in its true meaning, could be truly happy, for this it is necessary that those entering into marriage constantly maintain awareness of its high dignity and do not lose sight of the rights and responsibilities consecrated by marriage. This - mutual love spouses and respect, this is not passionate love, which soon passes, but love based on the fear of God, love in the image of Christ for the Church, which is why the Apostle calls: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for her sake” (Eph. 5:25).

Thus, a husband, according to the teaching of the word of God, must love his wife as Christ loves the Church, i.e. to love unfailingly until the end of his life, to love until he is ready to suffer and die for her, to love even if his wife did not love him, to love in order to win her over with his love. Such love is able to endure all the hardships in life, is able to make amends for the dissimilarity of characters, the difference in external qualities, and various shortcomings, etc.

On the other hand, a wife, along with love for her husband, must have obedience. Although, according to the teaching of the word of God, the husband is given power, he should look at this power not as an advantage, but as a duty. The primacy was given by God to the husband not for the humiliation of the wife, not for domination and dominion over her, but for the reasonable, meek management of the house. And what kind of power does the Apostle imagine this power to have? The most gentle, selfless, noble power. And in fact, what power could be purer and higher than the dominion of Christ over the Church? What relationship could be more sublime than that in which Christ and the Church find themselves? Here is the closest kinship, the most complete spiritual unity, the fairest equalization of rights that one can imagine, without humiliating power and subordination.

But in a civil marriage, can such relationships exist between spouses unchanged, until the end of their lives? Without a doubt, no - this can be judged by its fragility and ease of termination.

People of this century know only passion, understand only infatuation, and only sensual love is pleasant. But moments of such love are too short and fleeting. And so the union, deprived of the main force that holds it together, falls apart.

“From marriage comes temporary happiness and even eternal salvation,” taught St. Theophan the Recluse. “Therefore, one should approach it not with frivolity, but with fear and caution. God blesses with a good marriage. Therefore:

Be pious, devoted to God, in Whom you trust, pray that He Himself will send the other half, pleasing to Him and saving you.

When seeking a marital union, do not assume bad goals, or passionate bliss, or self-interest, or vanity; but - the one that God has determined - mutual assistance in temporary life for the sake of eternal life, for the glory of God and the good of others.

When you find it, accept it as a gift from God, with gratitude to God, as much as with love, as much as with respect for this gift.

When the choice is over, a combination must occur, a spiritual-physical merging, mysterious from God.

A natural union, for love, is a wild, gloomy union. Here he is cleansed, sanctified, and sobered through the prayer of the Church by Divine grace. It is difficult to stand alone in a strong and saving union. The threads of nature are torn, but grace is irresistible. Arrogance is dangerous everywhere, especially here... Therefore, humbly, with fasting and prayer, approach the sacrament." ("Outline of Christian Moral Teaching").

Marriage

When good children, setting off on some journey unknown to them, come to their mother and ask for her parting blessing, then the tender mother, sincerely blessing them, does not express what sincere feelings of hers, what kind of heartfelt wishes she does not pour out! Our most loving mother, St., does the same. The Church of Christ, when its obedient children - the named bride and groom - appear in St. the temple of God, seeking and asking for her maternal blessing on the unknown path of married life. Hitherto strangers to each other, uniting, at the direction of God’s Providence, which governs everything, into one couple, the bride and groom enter, truly, into a new one for them - family life, and therefore they do not know what awaits them ahead in this married life: is it joy, peace, or any emotional anxieties or sorrows. In this case, they need the right parting words, they need a true indication of the upcoming life path. And here is St. The Church, with love and triumph accepting her married children into the arms, among her blessings, does not pour out what touching prayers for them, what good wishes does not proclaim to them! And she accompanies these earnest prayers, these well-wishes with solemn and deeply significant rituals.

According to the church charter, marriage should be celebrated immediately after the liturgy (Required), so that the bride and groom, through reverent prayer during the liturgy, cleansing themselves through the sacraments of repentance and communion of the most holy Body and Blood of Christ, worthily prepare to receive the grace of the sacrament of marriage.

The first part of the sacrament of marriage is betrothal.

Groom in St. in the temple stands on the right, and the bride on the left - this is how God-given order and decency are observed: the husband is the head of the wife and in the order of standing takes precedence over his wife. Two rings for the betrothed are placed close to each other on St. throne as a sign that those getting married entrust their fate to the will of God's Providence and from the Lord, from His holy. the throne asking for a blessing for their betrothal. The bride and groom are holding brightly burning candles in their hands, which indicates that their motives for marriage are the brightest, purest, free from reprehensible calculations, that marriage is a pure, holy matter, not afraid of the light, just as sin and vice are afraid of this light. As lightly and brightly as candles burn, so bright, pure and chaste should be the soul of those getting married; how fieryly candles burn - with such fiery love they should burn throughout their married life for each other, for the saint. The Church that blesses them.

The most tender parents cannot wish their beloved children as many blessings as the saint asks them from God. Church during the celebration of the sacrament of marriage. As soon as the bride and groom entered the temple of God to ask for a blessing from above for their married life, St. The Church immediately begins to send its prayers to the Lord, where it asks Him for those marrying each other: about giving them a child to continue the family line; May they be granted more perfect, peaceful love and help; that they may remain in unanimity and firm faith; O hedgehog blessed by him in immaculate residence; Oh, yes, the Lord God will grant them an honest marriage and an undefiled bed.

Then the priest takes the rings from the throne and places them on the ring fingers of the bride and groom’s right hands.

Having first taken the groom’s ring, he says three times: “The servant of God is getting engaged (Name) servant of God (Name)". With every utterance of these words he creates sign of the cross over the groom's head and puts on the ring. Then he takes the bride’s ring and says, marking the bride’s head with a cross, three times: “The servant of God is engaged (Name) servant of God (Name)", and also puts a ring on her right hand ring finger. The bride and groom then exchange their rings three times.

The ring, according to ancient custom, served as a seal and affirmation; the threefold exchange of rings seals and confirms the complete mutual trust of the persons getting married: from now on they entrust each other with their rights, honor and tranquility; from now on they will live for each other, they will exchange everything with each other - and this reciprocity between them will be constant, endless (just as in a ring - a circle - there is no end, so the marital union must be eternal, indissoluble). The groom, as a testament to his love and readiness to use the advantage of his strength to help a woman’s weakness, gives his ring to the bride, and she, as a sign of her devotion to her husband and readiness to accept help from him, mutually gives her ring to the groom.

Now the betrothed approach the analogue on which the saints lie. The Gospel and the Cross of Christ; With this, the Church inspires that in all the paths of their lives, in all enterprises and undertakings, spouses should have before their eyes the law of Christ, outlined in the Gospel, so that in the wounds of Christ the Savior crucified on the cross, they should seek consolation among the worries of everyday life. At the same time, St. Church in the words of St. The psalmist, depicting the blissful state of God-fearing people in their marital, family life, answers the questions of the mind and heart of the newlyweds, what awaits them ahead, what share of well-being is prepared for them. “Blessed are all who fear the Lord, who walk in His ways” (Ps. 127:1) - this is the cornerstone, this is the secret of future family happiness, immutable, just as the word of God is immutable. So, the true happiness of a marital union depends on how the spouses behave in relation to God and St. His commandments: if the newlyweds revere God and walk in His ways, fulfill His commandments, then the Lord Himself, by the power of His power and wisdom, will arrange the internal and external good of their lives where those who alienate God encounter only failures and sorrows...

The engaged bride and groom stand on the same “foot” (on a spread piece of cloth) as a sign that they will have to share the same fate in everything - both happy and unfortunate - and publicly declare their good and unconstrained will before the cross and the Gospel for marriage. The bride and groom must marry by mutual consent and desire: their relaxed disposition towards each other serves as a guarantee of family happiness in marriage and one of the most important conditions for the legality of marriage.

However, the heartfelt mutual rapprochement of the bride and groom, inspired by the word of God (Gen. 24, 57-58; 28, 1-2), should be sanctified by the blessing of the parents and those who take their place (Judges 14, 1-3). Children act sinfully when they enter into marriage without the blessing of their parents: the prayers of parents, their blessing, according to the testimony of the word of God, establishes the homes of children (Sir. 3:9), i.e. strengthens the happiness and well-being of children's family life.

So, after the bride and groom have expressed mutual consent to marry before the face of the Lord Himself and before the entire Church, the minister of the Lord’s altar begins to perform the wedding itself. Through the lips of a priest in the touching prayers of St. The Church remembers the blessed marriages of St. by God Himself. our forefathers and calls on the newlyweds the same blessing of the Lord, which they have been granted, prays to the Almighty to preserve the newlyweds, as Noah was preserved in the ark, Jonah in the belly of the whale and the three youths in the cave of Babylon, to grant the new spouses unanimity of souls and bodies, long life, an unfading crown in heaven, to bestow from the dew of heaven above and from the fatness of the earth, wine and oil and all good things, so that they can, “having all self-righteousness,” teach those who require. At the same time, the shepherd of the Church begs the Lord to remember not only the couple themselves, but also their parents, “it is through the prayers of the parents that the foundations of houses are established...”

But then came the most important, most solemn, holiest moment in the entire ceremony of the wedding. Crowns are placed on the blessed couple - signs of royal power - and this gives the couple the blessing of becoming ancestors, as it were, princes of the house, kings of all future offspring, and at the same time they are given the obligation to use the granted power for the benefit of those under their control. In addition, since in ancient times the heads of the winners were decorated with crowns, laying crowns on the bride and groom serves as a reward for them for their chaste life before marriage.

“Crowns,” explains St. Chrysostom, “are placed on the heads of those getting married as a sign of victory, in order to show that they, invincible with passion before marriage, approach the marriage bed as such, that is, in the state of conquerors of carnal lust. And if someone was caught up in voluptuousness and gave himself to harlots, then why should he, the conquered one, have a crown on his head?” In fact, what should the newlyweds, who did not preserve their chastity before marriage, think and feel when laying crowns?.. They should feel unworthy of crowns, and in this deep consciousness of their own unworthiness, let them accept the firm intention to blot out their previous sins through repentance and godly deeds .

When laying crowns on the bride and groom, the servant of the altar of the Lord says: “The servant of God is getting married (Name) servant of God (Name)","The servant of God is getting married (Name) servant of God (Name)", and, blessing both three times (in honor of the Holy Trinity), three times he proclaims the mystical words: Lord our God, crown me with glory and honor(their)! “Lord!” the priest seems to be saying with these prayerful words. “As this couple is now adorned with crowns, so decorate this marriage union throughout their lives with glory and honor, with all the gifts of Your blessing: may the new spouses shine in life with purity and holiness, as they shine their crowns, and may they be worthy of the heavenly crowns prepared for future life victors who overcome the evil customs of this world and all harmful lusts, given for the observance of marital fidelity, for Christian deeds."

So St. The Church secretly and effectively brings down to the newlyweds the grace of the All-Holy Spirit, sanctifying their marriage, the natural birth and upbringing of children. From this moment the groom is already the husband of his bride, the bride is the wife of her groom; from this moment, husband and wife are bound by indissoluble bonds of marriage, according to the immutable word of Christ the Savior: “what God has joined together, let no man put asunder” (Matthew 19:6).

Now the spouses need to know their responsibilities in relation to each other, and so the Church of Christ offers in the apostolic reading read at the wedding the true teaching about the mutual responsibilities of husband and wife. The marriage union, according to the teaching of the word of God, is a great mystery (Eph. 5:32), due to the fact that it is an imprint and reflects the spiritually grace-filled union of Christ the Savior with the Church. Pure, unchanging mutual marital love, signifying the Savior’s love for the Church, is the source of all marital virtues, the source of mutual family peace and happiness; it alleviates all the difficulties, sorrows and illnesses of the marital state - it exalts the gifts of happiness and makes the needs of poverty bearable. The husband is the head of the wife, says St. ap. Paul, like Christ, is the Head of the Church (verse 23). But the Savior loved the Church so much that he gave himself up for her (v. 25), died on the cross for the sake of her holiness and purity - so a husband should love his wife as himself (v. 33), must love until he is ready to lay down , if necessary, his very life for his wife, in order to bring her true salvation. Husbands should love their wives as their own bodies, the same St. teaches. Apostle: He who loves his wife loves himself (v. 28). So, the husband must be the head of his wife, but not a reckless, not feeble-minded, not flighty, but a reasonable, thinking head. The husband must be the head of his wife, but not in order to torment his wife with hard-heartedness, coldness, exorbitant demands (the wife is the body of her husband: if the head begins to neglect the body, then it itself will disappear), but so that, according to the word of God , it is prudent to treat your wife as with the weakest vessel, showing her honor as a joint heir of grace-filled life (1 Pet. 3:7), in order to always and everywhere be an example for your wife and with Christian meekness to notice and correct her shortcomings. The husband must be a true friend and trustee of his inseparable companion, he must seek joy and consolation not on the side, not in other people's houses and gatherings, but at home, near his wife, who left her parents' house for her husband and expects everything from him alone ...

Just as the Church obeys Christ, so wives obey their husbands in everything, as the Lord Himself (Eph. 5; 22, 24), the word of God commands; but by no means should a wife “rule over her husband... for Adam was created first, and then Eve, and it was not Adam who was deceived, but the woman, being deceived, fell into transgression” (1 Tim. 2:12-14). The Church of Christ holyly and God-fearingly fulfills the will of the Lord - this is what a wife should do in relation to her husband. A wife should try to preserve the honor and name of the one to whom the All-Good Provider has combined it, to attract her husband’s favor not with braided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly clothing (1 Tim. 2:9), but with her reasonable submission, inviolable fidelity, with gentle suggestions, good orders in the house and all the ways that the great name of the husband’s helper bestows.

Another edifying lesson is taught to the spouses in the Gospel reading about marriage in Cana of Galilee, which is prescribed for marriage. The poor couple, who did not have the means to supply enough wine to treat the wedding guests, was, however, worthy for the Lord Jesus Christ Himself and His Most Pure Mother to honor the marriage with Their presence, so that the Queen of Heaven Herself would pay Her attention to her poverty and beg Her Son to help the need of the newlyweds by miraculously turning water into wine.

So, poverty does not in the least prevent Christian spouses from becoming rich in piety: a person’s well-ordered life, according to the word of Christ, does not depend on the abundance of his possessions (Luke 12:15). If the newlyweds place their main treasure in God, if they adorn themselves with Christian piety and fulfill the commandments of Christ all the days of their lives, then the Lord God, “who in Cana of Galilee honored the honorable marriage with His presence, will Himself reward them and fill their house with wheat and wine.” and oil and all kinds of goodness, grants abundant food for spouses and household members, grants His holy blessing for all their labors, for villages and fields, for their houses and livestock, so that everything may be multiplied and preserved..." (Trebnik).

After reading the Gospel, new instructions are given to the spouses. A cup of red wine is brought, the priest blesses it and gives the couple to eat from it three times as a sign that from now on, throughout their subsequent married life, they should have everything in common, the same desires and intentions, and that they should share everything in half: and happiness and misfortune, and joys and sorrows, and labors and peace, and feats and crowns for deeds.

After eating from the chalice, the shepherd of the Church, having united the right hands of the spouses and covered them with the end of the stole (as a sign that they were united in Christ, and that the husband, through the hands of the priest, receives a wife from the Church itself), circles the newlyweds three times with a lectern, expressing their joy by this circumambulation , spiritual rejoicing. In addition, since a repeated circle always serves as a sign of eternity, by walking in a circle, those getting married show a sign that they will preserve their marital union forever as long as they are alive, and express a vow not to dissolve the marriage for any reason. The circumambulation is performed three times to the glory of the Holy Trinity, which is thus invoked as a witness to the vow of the spouses.

At the end of the procession, the crowns are removed from the newlyweds with special greetings, in which the servant of God wishes them exaltation from God, joy, multiplication of offspring and keeping the commandments of God: “Be magnified, O bridegroom, as Abraham was, and blessed as Isaac, and multiplied as Jacob, who walked in peace and do in righteousness the commandments of God. And you, bride, be magnified like Sarah, and rejoice like Rebecca, and multiply like Rachel, rejoicing over your husband, keeping the limits of the law, for God is so pleased.” Then, in the two subsequent prayers: “God, our God” and “Father, and Son, and Holy Spirit,” the priest asks the Lord, who blessed the marriage in Cana of Galilee, to accept the crowns of the newlyweds undefiled and immaculate in His Kingdom. In the second prayer, read by the priest, facing the newlyweds bowing their heads, these petitions are imprinted with the name Holy Trinity and priestly blessing.

Finally, the couple, husband and wife, kiss each other, and the wedding ceremony ends.

This is how everything is done beautifully and for our edification in the sacred rite of marriage, how everything lifts us from earth to heaven! Our Lord Jesus Christ deigned to consecrate the marriage union with the grace of the sacrament for this purpose, so that Christian spouses, presenting the mysterious image of His most holy union with the Church and assisted by the grace of the sacrament, would be adorned with God-like perfections.

How far away should be from us every disorderly movement, every idle word, every evil and unclean thought, how reverently and attentively we must stand in the temple at a time when the blessing of the Lord is asked for the new couple, when the Lord Jesus Himself is invisibly present with us Christ, just as He was present at the wedding in Cana of Galilee!

At the wedding celebration of St. The Church allows us joy and joy, but wants our joy and joy to be pure, holy, worthy of the great sacrament for the sake of which they are allowed. “Marriage and the establishment of it (feast), says the Church of Christ to guide us, let it happen with all quietness and honesty befitting Christians for the glory of God, not by the devil’s cackling, nor by dancing and drunkenness, which are forbidden to Christians; for marriage is a matter holy: therefore it is worthy to do this holy thing.” “Marriage must be celebrated in a decorous manner, in a Christian manner, and not in a pagan one, without nasty and seductive songs, without shouting, sodomy rather than Christian wedding showing; and also without magic and any nasty actions." “Those invited to a marriage should have a modest, honest and reverent supper or dinner, as befits Christians,” the ancient saints and God-bearing fathers said at the council. Our modest, reverent wedding feast will be blessed by the Lord Himself , who sanctified the marriage in Cana of Galilee with His presence and performance of the first miracle. (Priest A.V. Rozhdestvensky. “The Family of an Orthodox Christian.”)

Advice for those getting married

In order for a wedding to become a true holiday, memorable for a lifetime, you need to take care of its organization in advance. First of all, agree on the place and time of the sacrament.

In churches where there is no pre-registration, the newlyweds agree to perform the sacrament directly on the wedding day. In this case, the approximate time of the wedding is established, since weddings may begin only after other requirements. You can also negotiate with a specific priest.

The church will need a marriage certificate, so the marriage must be registered at the registry office before the wedding.

In the first centuries of Christianity, weddings took place directly after the Divine Liturgy. This does not happen now, but sharing the sacrament before starting married life is extremely important. Therefore, newlyweds need to do everything necessary for communion: fasting, prayer, mutual forgiveness.

Anyone who wishes to worthily receive communion of the Holy Mysteries of Christ must prayerfully prepare himself for this at least 2-3 days in advance: pray more and more diligently at home in the morning and evening, visit church services. Before the day of communion, you must be at the evening service. To the family evening prayers a rule is added to Holy Communion (it includes the canons: repentance to the Lord Jesus Christ, prayer service to the Most Holy Theotokos, Guardian Angel, as well as Follow-up to Holy Communion). Fasting is combined with prayer - abstinence from modest food - meat, eggs, milk and dairy products - and if married life already takes place - abstinence from marital relations.

The newlyweds must come to the church on the wedding day at the beginning of the service, do not eat anything, do not drink or smoke the day before, from 12 o'clock at night. In the church, the bride and groom confess, pray during the liturgy and receive Holy Communion. After this, prayers, memorial services and funeral services usually take about an hour. During this time, you can change into wedding clothes (if the temple has a room for this).

The presence of friends and relatives of the newlyweds at the liturgy is desirable, but, as a last resort, they can come at the beginning of the wedding.

Taking photographs and filming a wedding with a video camera is not permitted in all churches: it is better to avoid this by taking a memorable photograph against the background of the temple after the sacrament has been performed.

Wedding rings must be given to the wedding priest in advance so that he can consecrate them by placing them on the throne.

Take a piece of white linen or a towel with you. The young will stand on it.

The bride must definitely have a headdress - a veil or scarf; cosmetics and jewelry - either absent or in minimal quantities. Required pectoral crosses for both spouses.

According to Russian tradition, every married couple has witnesses who organize the wedding feast. They will also be useful in the temple - to hold crowns over the heads of the newlyweds. Witnesses must be baptized.

Church charter prohibits marrying several couples at the same time, but in practice this happens. Of course, each couple would like to get married separately. But in this case, the sacrament can drag on for a long time (the duration of one wedding is 30-40 minutes). If the newlyweds are ready to wait until they have married everyone else, then they will not be denied a separate sacrament. On weekdays (Monday, Wednesday, Friday) the likelihood that several couples will come is much less than on Sundays.

Church-canonical obstacles to marriage

The conditions for marriage established by civil law and church canons have significant differences, therefore not every civil union registered in the registry office can be consecrated in the sacrament of marriage.

The Church does not allow fourth and fifth marriages; Persons who are closely related are prohibited from marrying. The Church does not bless a marriage if one of the spouses (or both) declares himself a convinced atheist who came to church only at the insistence of his spouse or parents. You cannot get married without being baptized.

You cannot get married if one of the newlyweds is actually married to another person.

Marriage between blood relatives up to the fourth degree of relationship (that is, with a second cousin) is prohibited.

An ancient pious tradition prohibits marriages between godparents and godchildren, as well as between two successors of the same child. Strictly speaking, there are no canonical obstacles to this, but currently permission for such a marriage can only be obtained from the ruling bishop.

Those who have previously taken monastic vows or been ordained to the priesthood cannot be married.

Nowadays, the Church does not inquire about the age of majority, the mental and physical health of the bride and groom, or the voluntariness of their marriage, since these conditions are mandatory for registering a civil union. Of course, it is possible to hide certain obstacles to marriage from government officials. But it is impossible to deceive God, therefore the main obstacle to an illegal marriage should be the conscience of the spouses.

The lack of parental blessing for a wedding is a very unfortunate fact, but if the bride and groom reach adulthood, it cannot prevent the wedding. In addition, atheist parents often oppose church marriage, and in this case the parental blessing can be replaced by a priestly blessing, best of all - the blessing of the confessor of at least one of the spouses.

The wedding does not take place:

During all four multi-day fasts;
- during Cheese Week (Maslenitsa);
- on Bright (Easter) Week;
- from the Nativity of Christ (January 7) to Epiphany (January 19);
- on the eve of the twelve holidays;
- on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays throughout the year;
- September 10, 11, 26 and 27 in connection with strict fasting for the Beheading of John the Baptist and the Exaltation of the Holy Cross);
- on the eve of patronal church days (each church has its own).

In extreme circumstances, an exception to these rules can be made with the blessing of the ruling bishop.

Superstitions associated with weddings

The remnants of paganism make themselves felt through all sorts of superstitions that are preserved among the people. Thus, there is a belief that an accidentally dropped ring or an extinguished wedding candle foreshadows all sorts of misfortunes, a difficult life in marriage or the early death of one of the spouses. There are also widespread superstitions that the one of the couple who first steps on the spread towel will dominate the family all his life, and whose candle after the sacrament turns out to be shorter will die earlier. Some people think that you can’t get married in May, “you’ll suffer all your life.”

All these fictions should not disturb the heart, for their creator is Satan, called in the Gospel “the father of lies.” And you need to treat accidents (for example, a ring falling) calmly - anything can happen.

Follow-up on second marriages

The Church disapproves of second marriage and allows it only out of leniency towards human weaknesses. Two prayers of repentance are added to the study on second marriages; there are no questions about freedom of expression. This rite is performed if both the bride and groom marry for the second time. If one of them is getting married for the first time, the usual ceremony takes place.

It's never too late to get married

In godless times, many married couples were formed without the blessing of the Church. But it happens that unmarried spouses remain faithful to each other all their lives, raising their children and grandchildren in peace and harmony.

The Church never refuses the grace of the sacrament, even if the spouses are in their declining years. As many priests testify, those couples who get married in adulthood sometimes take the sacrament of marriage more seriously than young people. The pomp and solemnity of the wedding is replaced by reverence and awe before the greatness of marriage.

See praise... Dictionary of Russian synonyms and similar expressions. under. ed. N. Abramova, M.: Russian Dictionaries, 1999. wedding, marriage, praise; wedding rite, crowning, crowning, wedding, sacrament of marriage, marriage, divine service, requirement... Synonym dictionary

The Christian rite of placing a crown (crown) on the heads of believers upon entering into a church marriage, as well as during the coronation of monarchs (crowning)... Big encyclopedic Dictionary

WEDDING, to crown, see crown. Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary. IN AND. Dahl. 1863 1866 … Dahl's Explanatory Dictionary

WEDDING, see Marriage sacrament... Modern encyclopedia

WEDDING, weddings, Wed. 1. Rite of enthronement (historical). Royal weddings. 2. Rite, church wedding ceremony (church). Ushakov's explanatory dictionary. D.N. Ushakov. 1935 1940 ... Ushakov's Explanatory Dictionary

WEDDING, I, Wed. 1. see marry, xia. 2. Church wedding ceremony. Invite to. Ozhegov's explanatory dictionary. S.I. Ozhegov, N.Yu. Shvedova. 1949 1992 … Ozhegov's Explanatory Dictionary

Wedding- (English wedding) in Russia, a form of marriage obligatory for persons of the Christian faith. In the Russian state of the 15th-17th centuries. V. was carried out by a local priest after presenting him with a “crown of memory” permission to marry, given ... ... Encyclopedia of Law

Wedding- WEDDING, see Marriage sacrament. ... Illustrated Encyclopedic Dictionary

Wedding- a divine service during which the Sacrament of Marriage is performed: a Christian marriage is blessed and sanctified. The wedding is performed by a priest (very rarely a bishop), and it is customary for the priest to be from the white (non-monastic) clergy... Orthodoxy. Dictionary-reference book

I; Wed to Get married (1 2 digits). ◁ Wedding, aya, oe (2 digits). V. rite. In that dress. In the second candles. * * * wedding 1) the Christian rite of placing a crown (crown) on the heads of those entering into a church marriage. 2) Solemn, of a sacred nature... ... encyclopedic Dictionary

Books

• , . The book was published in memory of the coronation of Emperor Alexander III and his wife Maria Feodorovna. The description of this event is preceded by historical essay weddings of the Tsardom Russian sovereigns, who...
• The crowning of Russian sovereigns, starting from Tsar Mikhail Feodorovich to Emperor Alexander III,. The book was published in memory of the coronation of Emperor Alexander III and his wife Maria Feodorovna. The description of this event is preceded by a historical sketch of the crowning of the Russian sovereigns, which...

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The sacrament of marriage is sacred Orthodox rite, which gives spouses a blessing for family life and the birth of children. Today, quite a lot of young couples decide to carry out this tradition. Yes, this is not strange, because this event is beautiful and very touching.

But you need to understand that you need to go through the sacrament of wedding not because it is a modern tribute to fashion. Remember that this must be a serious, deliberate step. Therefore, you need to know all its features.

Carry out the wedding ceremony in Orthodox Church You can do it at any time - on your wedding day, a few days later, a week or a year later. It doesn’t matter to the church when you decide to take this step. The main thing is that you need to comply with all the conditions that the church provides.

One of the important conditions for carrying out the sacrament is the presence of a marriage document (certificate). Also, young spouses must be baptized. However, the last rule can be circumvented. Today, more than one church allows a ceremony to be held when one of the spouses does not Orthodox Christian. But at the same time they set the condition that children born in this marriage must be baptized in the Orthodox Church.

There is one more rule for the wedding ceremony. It is important that spouses meet the marriageable age:

• the groom must be at least 18 years old;
• the bride must be 16.

Don't worry about being rejected if your wife is pregnant. This will not happen, since there is an opinion of the church, where children should be born only in a married marriage. It is also possible to perform the sacrament when the spouses have not received parental blessing. In this case, the confessor can give the blessing.

There are not many restrictions on the ritual. The Church does not give permission to the owl in the following cases:

• when the spouses are spiritual or blood relatives;
• when unbaptized or atheists get married.
• When you have registered your fourth marriage, the ceremony can only be performed three times.

Preparation for the wedding

To this Orthodox tradition you need to prepare yourself spiritually. Before the ceremony, spouses must pray, take communion, confess and undergo a three-day fast, during which it is forbidden to consume animal products.

Before the wedding you need to abstain from carnal relations. This rule also applies to couples who have lived together for several years. You should not enter into close relationships for several days before the sacrament.

Selection of guarantors

The choice of witnesses must be approached responsibly. They are often chosen among loved ones. But there are several rules here. Witnesses must be baptized. It is strictly forbidden to take as guarantors:

• couples who live in a “civil” marriage;
• divorced spouses.

It is best to invite young people who are not familiar with married life as witnesses. But if you have any problems finding guarantors, the ceremony can be performed without them.

What do witnesses do at a wedding?

When conducting this church ceremony, the guarantors are assigned certain responsibilities. Often, the actions and rules for their implementation, which the spouses' assistants must perform, are agreed upon in advance with the clergyman. This is necessary so that no problems or complications arise during the wedding tradition.

Traditionally, witnesses have the following duties (but these may vary depending on the rules of the church itself):

• Hold crowns over the heads of spouses;
• Accompany the bride and groom during the triple procession;
• Lay a towel in front of the lectern;
• Serve wedding rings;
• Help collect bouquets after the ceremony.

What do you give for a wedding?

The traditions of this ceremony do not provide for any specific gifts. But it is best to give the following things:

• shelves for the iconostasis;
• icons;
• gift bible;
• candlesticks;
• coins with the faces of saints;
• lamps.

How does the wedding take place?

The ceremony is divided into two stages: engagement and wedding. It is worth noting that the priest of the newlyweds will call them exclusively church names. The newlyweds are engaged before entering the temple.

The bride always stands to the left of the groom. The priest blesses them and hands them lighted candles, which the young people hold until the end of the ceremony.

The Lord is always with you!

Watch the video in which you will learn about the wedding and how to prepare for the sacrament:

The church service during which a Christian marriage is illuminated and blessed is called a wedding or church marriage ceremony. Its essence is to bless future spouses for a happy family life, giving birth and raising children. This sacrament should not be a fashion statement or a mandatory element of the wedding. Such a decision is made consciously; each spouse must be aware that they are ready to be with this person for the rest of their lives.

Why do you need a church wedding?

Initially, among the Slavs, the wedding ceremony was endowed with a magical meaning - to protect newly-made spouses from the evil eye, damage, evil spirits. They prepared for it in advance: they sewed special clothes, hats, and prepared protective dishes. With the emergence of Christianity in Rus', the church custom continued to exist. It was believed that a wedding in a church brings happiness, prosperity, and protects a married couple from troubles.

The meaning of a wedding is not only an agreement to take care of each other, but also a decision to raise children together, according to Christian traditions. Wedding is a sacrament after which marriage is not subject to divorce. Currently, young people decide to consecrate their marriage in church for a number of reasons:

• a married couple receives a blessing from God;
• internal forces appear to create strong family;
• protecting the marriage from troubles and troubles;
• the emergence of a strong connection on a spiritual level;
• responsibility for offspring;
• receiving protection from God in joy and sorrow.

What do you need for a wedding?

Before performing the sacrament, you need to talk with the priest and prepare a wedding pair of icons, candles, and a towel. Wedding rings are required. Peculiarities:

• According to Orthodox canons, the bride wears a silver jewelry, and the groom wears a gold one. This is explained by the fact that a woman personifies the image of the Church, and therefore should, like silver, radiate light and grace. The man is considered the image of Christ, whose Divine Glory is symbolized by gold.
• In the future, the things used in the ritual will help. Thus, candles can be lit during a period of family problems, and icons will give strength, protecting spouses.

What kind of icons should there be?

Icons necessary for pious tradition are called wedding couples. According to traditions, newlyweds must receive a blessing from their parents, while the bride is blessed with an icon of the Most Holy Theotokos, and the groom with an icon of the Lord Pantocrator. Currently, the use of any handwritten image of the Blessed Virgin Mary and Christ is allowed. The wedding icon of the Kazan Mother of God is often used for these purposes.

Conditions for a wedding in the Orthodox Church

Not every official marriage can be blessed and illuminated. There are a number of contraindications and restrictions for getting married in a church, including the age of the newlyweds. So, the future wife must be over 16 years old, and future husband- 18 years. According to church canons, there are days of the week and holidays on which sacred rites cannot be performed.

When can I get married?

Many spouses plan to get married on the day the marriage is registered at the registry office. This is a serious intention that should not be rushed. It is better to postpone this decision until the birth of the child or after several years of marriage. When choosing the date for the sacrament, it is important to remember that it is not always possible to perform church ceremony weddings Unacceptable days for this: Tuesday, Thursday: they precede fast days. You cannot get married on Saturday - the day before the day off.

On patronal and twelfth holidays, and multi-day fasts, weddings are prohibited. This:

• Christmas post: 28.11-06.01;
• Cheese week;
• Petrov's fast, depending on the date of Easter, lasts 8-42 days;
• Assumption Fast: 14.08-27.08;
• Beheading of John the Baptist (September 11);
• Exaltation of the Holy Cross (September 27);
• Christmas time (07.01-19.01);
• Maslenitsa;
• Bright week after Easter.

Even if you have decided on a date that is not included in the fast, it is worth going to the temple and additionally checking with the priest so that there are no misunderstandings. Other restrictions on holding a church wedding ceremony include: night time, “critical” days for women and permanent holidays such as Christmas, Epiphany, Annunciation, Easter.

Obstacles to marriage

A prerequisite for a wedding is the conclusion of an official marriage. Those getting married must be baptized Orthodox Christians. Although there is an exception to this rule: a non-Orthodox Christian is allowed to get married, provided that children born will be baptized into Orthodoxy. Other restrictions when the ordinance is not performed include:

• unbaptized;
• atheists;
• living in a civil marriage;
• people with blood or spiritual kinship;
• fourth official marriage;
• mental disorders and diseases.

Rules

Conduct in church should be reverent and respectful towards the sacred things and each other. Loud conversations, laughter, and whispering are not allowed here. About Cell phones You also need to forget: turn off the device or put it in silent mode. While in the center of the church, you must not turn your back on the holy images. All attention should be directed to prayer, because subsequent family life depends on it.

Preparation

To choose a church for your wedding, you need to go through different temples and feel “your” place. It is also important to find a priest you like, talk to him, discuss all the details. Then you need to make an appointment for the wedding a few weeks in advance. The issue of cost needs to be discussed in advance: in some churches it is a fixed amount, in others it is a voluntary donation.

The bride and groom should prepare for the wedding not only financially, but also spiritually: confess and receive communion. Without these procedures, the couple will not be able to receive blessings from God in the church. Newlyweds must pray, ask for salvation, forgiveness from the offended, let go of grievances, and pay off debts. Only after their souls are cleansed are spouses allowed to receive communion.

Prayers

Treat your prayers with attention and reverence, because a wedding is not just a ceremony. During the entire sacrament, the Church prays only for the bride and groom, with the exception of prayer for the raising parents. Church ministers, those getting married, witnesses, guests and everyone present should, with their words, thoughts, and prayers, ask God for happiness and a strong family for the spouses. It's important to focus on what's important.

Choosing an outfit for the bride

The wedding dress should cover the shoulders and arms and be no higher than the knees. A deep neckline is not desirable, but you can use a cape, an openwork shawl, a bolero, or a stole. It is better to choose a light color for the outfit; avoid dark and bright ones. Sundresses and trouser suits are not appropriate for this occasion. The bride's head must be covered. A hat is not suitable for this occasion, since during the ceremony the couple is wearing church crowns.

Shoes can be anything, the main thing is that they are comfortable. You must remain on your feet throughout the entire procedure. The wedding lasts a long time, so it is better to avoid high heels and uncomfortable shoes. Makeup should be light and discreet. It is forbidden to kiss icons, crosses, or crowns with painted lips. The wedding dress is stored with wedding candles, icons, christening shirts. It cannot be sold, given away or given to anyone.

How does the wedding take place?

During Divine Liturgy emphasize the importance of the Sacrament of Marriage and the spiritual purity with which one must approach its conclusion. After this comes betrothal - the consolidation of the mutual promises of the spouses before the Lord. A heavenly marriage takes place in a church and means that the husband receives a wife from God himself. The engagement is secured with wedding rings, which the priest puts on first to the groom, then to the bride, while saying prayers. Afterwards, the spouses exchange rings three times in honor of the Holy Trinity. Everything ends with a prayer for a Guardian Angel for the new family.

Then comes the wedding:

• The newlyweds hold candles in their hands and solemnly follow the priest with a censer to the altar. This means that in their life's journey they must follow and keep the commandments of the Lord.
• The couple is greeted by the Choir singing Psalm 127, which blesses the marriage.
• The newlyweds stand on a white or pink board located in front of the lectern.
• The bride and groom once again confirm their voluntary decision to marry, remain faithful and create a union made in heaven.
• The wedding ceremony begins with the liturgical exclamation: “Blessed is the Kingdom...”
• Then prayers are read, after which the most important moments of the sacrament begin - everything that was asked for in the prayers is accomplished, strengthening and illuminating the future family.
• The priest places a crown on the groom and gives him to venerate the image of the Savior. In the same way, he blesses the bride, allowing her to kiss the icon of the Most Holy Theotokos.
• The priest reads a prayer for the acceptance of crowns immaculate and undefiled in the Kingdom of God.
• Following is the letter of the Apostle Paul to the Ephesians, which husbands and wives should fully know.

Spouses, adorned with crowns, appear before the face of God Himself, awaiting blessing. The solemn moment comes. After reading the prayers, the priest gives wine to drink first to the groom and then to the bride. Everyone takes 3 sips. The priest then connects the husband's right hand with right hand wife, covers them with stole, and places his hand on top. Such a gesture means that through the hand of a clergyman, the husband receives a wife from the Church itself forever in the earthly world.

The young couple walks around the lectern 3 times, from that moment their joint procession began, hand in hand. Having completed the movements, the priest removes the crowns from the married couple, brings them a cross for kissing and hands the image of the Savior to the groom, and the image of the Most Holy Theotokos to the bride. The great sacrament of wedding lasts 45–60 minutes. A church wedding ends with a wedding meal for spouses, guests, and witnesses.

How many times can you get married in Orthodoxy?

A wedding is a responsible decision for two adults. loving people. This is the step that seals the marriage bond and makes it inextricable. If there is a feeling of fear or uncertainty, it is better to wait. Having decided on the sacrament, you should not perceive it as a beautiful church ceremony, and even more so as an obligatory element of the wedding. It's something more. Jesus said in the Bible that people cannot destroy a union blessed by God, but there are situations when a church marriage does break up.

There is no such thing as “debunking,” but the church still recognizes the possibility of dissolving a married union. According to church canons, a Christian is not allowed, but tolerated, a second marriage. Permission can only be obtained by writing a petition addressed to the ruling bishop and submitting the necessary documents. This is followed by a conversation with a priest to explain the reasons for the dissolution of the first marriage. The Church allows remarriage.

Virgo